I am broken - Marriage Decision Must be Made

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#61
Dude's pain stems solely from his delusional, out of touch aspirations. He wants to become a player with a below average SMV. Ain't happenin bruh. He either needs to skyrocket in SMV or settle.

Dude wants to buy a fleet of ferrari's with a rolled up wad of chuck e cheese coupons.
 

mrgoodstuff

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#62
Dude's pain stems solely from his delusional, out of touch aspirations. He wants to become a player with a below average SMV. Ain't happenin bruh. He either needs to skyrocket in SMV or settle.

Dude wants to buy a fleet of ferrari's with a rolled up wad of chuck e cheese coupons.
What suggestion do you have for him to increase his SMV?
 
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#63
What suggestion do you have for him to increase his SMV?
You tell me. Or him rather.

He's Indian, 40, with a fat girlfriend, with zero other options.

Available evidence indicates he is below average SMV. Possibly way below average. He also says he wants to become a top tier player in the future. This suggests he is not especially intelligent either.
 

mrgoodstuff

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#64
You tell me. Or him rather.

He's Indian, 40, with a fat girlfriend, with zero other options.

Available evidence indicates he is below average SMV. Possibly way below average. He also says he wants to become a top tier player in the future. This suggests he is not especially intelligent either.
Top tier in 3 years or so. He can have body game in a year. He needs clothes. He needs a starter ho. For a player to workout the groups and environment has to allow him to play. An attractive indian can play but he needs to study others whose made it work
 

Reyaj

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#65
Lots of good advise on here. Very tough situation for sure.

I agree the most with @Bible_Belt . You have a reluctant attitude about marrying this woman now and I think it stands to be reasoned that things you dont like about her now are only going to be intensified over time, as they already have, but more so after you would potentially marry her.

At the end of the day you owe it to yourself to do what is best for you. You also in a way owe it to her to not get into a situation that seems to surely have a very high rate for failure, just to appease her "need" for marriage.

Just ask yourself this- where are you going to be in a year from now both with and without her? In 5 years? In 10 years?

If you walk away to find a more complete and fulfilling woman, are you going to be ok and happy being single for the next 5 years assuming you dont "settle" on another one?

True there are so many women out there that hooking up, short term dating, etc is EASY. Especially if you get back in good shape and get your mind and finances headed to a better place. But out of all of those easy situations it truly is tough to find someone that you are very compatible with.

Only you can answer as none of us know either of you on a personal level and we do not truly know all of the story.

We only live once. Based on your responses to some of these posts, I dont think you will truly be happy with her over time and as long as you can be successful with your own happiness during times of being alone, it is the safer option.
As of right now I am planning to propose to her soon. I think the security she provides outweighs the superficial issues I have with her. But I can't help but want to try and bed other women... or even romance them... I don't know I have some kind of issue... like I feel validated when I go for a girl I like and she likes me back. There is just so much crap women out there that my girl really has a lot of good qualities.

What is my alternative? Hope to find a thinner girl who is as great? I've dated so many girls to appreciate when I have one that is quality. The cognitive dissonance is so strong though, how am I going to stop chasing other women?

Exactly. And I'll add that you need to seriously sit down and be open and honest with yourself about what you want. Your 40 your not going to be able to play the field with hot bi!ches forever man. As you get older there will be less options you'll have for a good partner.

Cognitive dissonance tells us there's an imbalance in our lives, that somethings wrong. You know already what's wrong. What's stopping you from acting on it? Could it be that you don't trust your own judgment..if you fear the white picket fence why bother with relationships at all? Especially marriage?? I have a feeling you haven been honest with your gf/wife at all and you probably should. After you figure it out clearly.
I want both that's the problem....and I can't have it.... I am confused.. What is everyone saying to do dump her? Then what... deal with constant frustration from the abundance of "quality" women we have out there today lol.. I mean sometimes I think I should just focus on my business but I feel like she is the one good decision I've made in my life... I am so fvcked up please tell me more insight man.. at least you mentioned cognitive dissonance which is exactly what is messing me up right now

You are clearly NOT in love with her and clearly do NOT want to marry her. You've already answered your own question.

The problem is, you don't have anywhere near the SMV required to live the lifestyle you want. Think about this realistically. I have never met a man and I've known quite a few guys who are serious players, who had a series of many hot girlfriends. As much as we criticize women, they're not dumb and they don't act against their instincts.

Your SMV is far lower than the top players I've met who have a string of 6's, and if they are extremely lucky, score with an occasional 8. Since your SMV is below average (40+, ethnic) you won't be hooking up even with these 6's consistently. I'm not even sure you could pull 4's and 5's consistently. As a matter of fact, I'm certain you could not.

That means your sex life would be far worse than it would be if you were married. You'd at least have occasional sex (without paying). Without a wife, now you're looking at nothing.

The question I have is, why do you still have this delusional sense of entitlement at 40+ when nothing in your experience supports that this could become a reality? Your judgement is severely lacking. That's what you need to work on first above all else.
Again with this ethnic crap... I'm fvcking white you moron not that it should matter.

What is your SMV man? 1.5? This whole SMV crap is an excuse for you all to feel better about the fact that you are alone... it justifies it for you. How about actually connecting with someone and being vulnerable? Ohhhhh no fvck that! Go read another manosphere book you fvcking robot. Or maybe 69 with your butt buddy mr. goodstuff who likes all your posts lol
 
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mrgoodstuff

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#66
As of right now I am planning to propose to her soon. I think the security she provides outweighs the superficial issues I have with her. But I can't help but want to try and bed other women... or even romance them... I don't know I have some kind of issue... like I feel validated when I go for a girl I like and she likes me back. There is just so much crap women out there that my girl really has a lot of good qualities.

What is my alternative? Hope to find a thinner girl who is as great? I've dated so many girls to appreciate when I have one that is quality. The cognitive dissonance is so strong though, how am I going to stop chasing other women?



I want both that's the problem....and I can't have it.... I am confused.. What is everyone saying to do dump her? Then what... deal with constant frustration from the abundance of "quality" women we have out there today lol.. I mean sometimes I think I should just focus on my business but I feel like she is the one good decision I've made in my life... I am so fvcked up please tell me more insight man.. at least you mentioned cognitive dissonance which is exactly what is messing me up right now



Again with this ethnic crap... I'm fvcking white you moron not that it should matter.

What is your SMV man? 1.5? This whole SMV crap is an excuse for you all to feel better about the fact that you are alone... it justifies it for you. How about actually connecting with someone and being vulnerable? Ohhhhh no fvck that! Go read another manosphere book you fvcking robot. Or maybe 69 with your butt buddy mr. goodstuff who likes all your posts lol
I liked how "glassguy" said hes just a REGULAR guy with a good life and females is easy. Player Supreme also said he was a "normal" guy and his communications were for normal guys. They are saying excuses about looks are just that. What is important is you are fun to be around and you deal with females who choose you.
 
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#67
You are a low smv male, about to marry a low smv female. Your lack of composure confirms every suspicion.

That doesn't mean you can't be happy. There are plenty of low smv people, the vast majority. A lot of them are happy. It's because they've found satisfaction in areas other than bedding as many hot women as possible. But that's the problem. You are a horse jockey who wants to play in the nba. Optimism is good as long as it's tempered with some connection to reality, which is where you fail miserably.
 

Reyaj

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#68
You are a low smv male, about to marry a low smv female. Your lack of composure confirms every suspicion.

That doesn't mean you can't be happy. There are plenty of low smv people, the vast majority. A lot of them are happy. It's because they've found satisfaction in areas other than bedding as many hot women as possible. But that's the problem. You are a horse jockey who wants to play in the nba. Optimism is good as long as it's tempered with some connection to reality, which is where you fail miserably.
I've bedded attractive women before. Most were not good LTR material. My GF is beautiful but gained some weight... I guess that's unheard of.

Its hard to communicate with someone like you who doesn't really live in reality and uses these acronyms to substantiate your supposed knowledge of the game and women. Like I offered you earlier, feel free to message me if you need some help in losing your virginity.
 
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From the Heart and Soul, of a Woman
#70
I've decided to do it.

Bring on the negative responses! lol
Your consciously choosing to marry a woman and have a child (or children), under fraudulent pretenses, is truly sad (and fvcked up), to me. I find it incredibly sad (and fvcked up) for all involved. Realize, no matter how you spin it Reyaj, there will still be no winners in such a lie, not even you.
 
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samspade

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#73
Living a fraudulent life will never result in true happiness.
What is fraudulent about it? He said he wants both - but he has to choose. If he chose to dump her and stay single, wouldn't that too be fraudulent since he also wants to marry this woman and have kids with her?

Only Reyaj knows for sure if he's making the right choice.
 
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