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member162951
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Can you expound on that or should I just read the book?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I’m in deep
- Thread starter Divorced w 3
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
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Master Don Juan
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How frustrated did I seem in this thread? How frustrated did she seem in this thread? Work through the different scenarios of deviating from your own needs
M
member162951
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I just read the summary. He advocates "empathy" using your emotional brain, putting yourself in the other's shoes, and understanding their perspective versus "theory" which imo is much of what redpill is.
I'm gonna pick up the book, the author is a former FBI negotiator, which piques my interest just from that!
But yeah I'm big on empathy and seeing the situation from the other person's side which is why I have always supported how you handled things with your girl..
Again, my posts were directed at @Foe post.
M
member162951
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Not sure if what's in bold was directed at me, or your "you" was generic, but I wasn't the one trashing on you for how you handled things.
If it's working, I'm actually happy for you, for both of you. Are you?
I am in my relationship.
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You misread it. You asked for an explanation.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
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member162951
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Okay I misread/misunderstood, I thought I might have, which is why I posted this:
In any event, appreciate the explanation and book recommendation, I just ordered it.
Doctor Europeo
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BeExcellent
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Advice from the old lady:
Sometimes we as humans make a mess of things out of our own insecurities. I think that is what has happened here, to a great degree.
OP readily admits to disliking being alone, and readily admits that he wants a (+) female influence in the lives of his children.
1. Dislike of being alone is the root issue.
2. Need of female presence for the kids is the rationalization.
Does nobody else see this? To me it’s becoming very clear.
The healthy thing for OP to do is NOT move this woman into his home and learn to go through life with a comfort level being by himself. There is something lacking in OP. It is that lack which creates this dynamic in his relationships (and it was also there in some manifestation with his ex wife.)
Until OP straightens himself out and gets comfortable in his own company he’s going to torch his relationships and make hasty decisions like accepting the first girl who pays attention to him.
He is needy and insecure because of his discomfort being alone, everything else is a band aid for that; the associated drama is the necessary by product and distraction.
Just my $0.02
Sometimes we as humans make a mess of things out of our own insecurities. I think that is what has happened here, to a great degree.
OP readily admits to disliking being alone, and readily admits that he wants a (+) female influence in the lives of his children.
1. Dislike of being alone is the root issue.
2. Need of female presence for the kids is the rationalization.
Does nobody else see this? To me it’s becoming very clear.
The healthy thing for OP to do is NOT move this woman into his home and learn to go through life with a comfort level being by himself. There is something lacking in OP. It is that lack which creates this dynamic in his relationships (and it was also there in some manifestation with his ex wife.)
Until OP straightens himself out and gets comfortable in his own company he’s going to torch his relationships and make hasty decisions like accepting the first girl who pays attention to him.
He is needy and insecure because of his discomfort being alone, everything else is a band aid for that; the associated drama is the necessary by product and distraction.
Just my $0.02
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I think you nailed it. She’s moving in but I agree with you.
CAPSLOCK BANDIT
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Hahahaha, bro she hasn't had a bf in 4 years and she's out approaching dudes at the bar, so In essence she wants male companionship but can't find any, super duper red flag here, a dudes attention is incredibly simple to capture, she literally just had to place herself in front of you and you did the rest... How hard was that? Not hard. So why is she single? Likely ****s with dudes until a conflict arises then the BPD comes out.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
M
member162951
Guest
What the hell happened, dude was banned? I must've missed something.
Oh well, wish him well.
Oh well, wish him well.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
One week temp-ban
At first, everything was great…
Then, I got a bad feeling when I wasn’t with her and she didn’t answer.
She broke my rules.
Then, other guys.
Now how do I get her out?
It’s been 1 month and I did see her a few times but I can’t forgive her and I can’t let my kids know I seen her after what happened.
What is wrong with me? Why can’t I let go? I have options…
Signed, your future self.
I have drawn this picture for you because it is what happens to guys like you.
Please consider your future self.
M
member162951
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Give it a rest why dont ya, geez man. Dw3 isn't even here to respond (defend his decision), he's been temp-banned per @Dr.Suave last post.
No one knows the 'ins and outs' of their relationship but the two of them, if it turns out to be a mistake, so be, just like everything else we experience in life.
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I read your work while I was in solitary… I would consider the source if I was anyone following what this cat is saying.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
BackInTheGame78
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You are way too involved in these forums to be picking up on this kind of stuff...holy cannoli.
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Good for her. Hope she finds what she’s looking for.
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The timing is not remotely close nor is the situation with my children.
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member162951
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I've deleted all my posts on this.
Take care guys...moving on.
Take care guys...moving on.
BackInTheGame78
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Wait...you ended up going thru all this, having he move in and then like a week later it's done?
Is that what I am understanding?
Is that what I am understanding?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.