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Fiance is getting fat and ugly

Voice

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Here's another pic bro, you see any dough?

Screenshot_20201118-234355.jpg

Denial is a river in Egypt
 

Lookatu

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Here's another pic bro, you see any dough?
Obviously looks are subjective and variable depending on where you live and compare to others in your environment. In the midwest, you'd be considered in shape an fit as majority of older guys get to be obese or out of shape.

Personally, I think you are skinny and fit(good thing) but not muscular or jacked. Girls aren't going to notice your muscle tone underneath clothes and by the time any girls get to see it, they already like you enough to sleep with you. Unless you are at the beach, just being on the thin side and wearing good clothes and having a good face will attract most girls.

Now guys from California/Miami/etc. and such have a different environment where there are many more healthy and fit people living there. So their reference point might be skewed and you could actually be "doughy" to them.

But this begs the question on whether your girl see's you as "doughy" too because if that's the case, she will not have incentive to improve herself or lose any sense of security when you are out and about and if other girls check you out.

Ultimately, we are talking about her and whether you'd be comfortable in the long run to stay with her if she let herself go or refused to improve her looks. Has she ever said anything to you about improving yourself in any way? (clothes, hair, hygiene, appearance)
 

Mauser96

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No. She’s a bit worse off.

But I look at it like this... most guys have your build, so it doesn’t create anxiety amongst the female population nor does it turn heads. So if she’s paired up with that build she doesn’t have much drive to get in shape, because there are no threats posed nor does it communicate virile energy. But your builds together look like the typical couple I would see at the beach.

When a woman is with a man who is going after his passions and keeps himself in-check, on a subconscious level she’s going to want to keep up so she looks the part of his partner. You know the old cliche of partners begin to look like one another? It’s true. Because they feed off each others energies.
And if she can’t? She will probably communicate super insecure behaviours, and if that’s the case, you’re better off without her because she’s dead weight. But that would naturally split anyone up because the vibes are too different. Hard to be successful when the other is unsuccessful. That’s like a lawyer hanging out with crackheads and still being top tier.

But your whole post is about wanting someone else to get in hot body shape, when you yourself aren’t in hot body shape. Lol
So the solution isn’t give her a talking to.. it’s get YOUR @SS in the gym and chisel YOURSELF. Four times a week. Don’t even worry about her for a month or so while you get things in order. Just worry about yourself.

If she’s not following suit in 6 months.. then come back here and talk new options..
Because right now? You sound entitled to someone appeasing you and your desires based on how things used to be. Living in the past. Both of you are probably complacent and don’t have the gym as a priority given various circumstances.
And stop judging her so much. She can probably sense that, and it’s toxic. You shame her on an energetic level, and that’s going to make literally no one want to improve.

Re-read this excellent post. It pretty much covers all the bases.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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We've been together for 7 years and she's really slowly fallen off with her looks the past few years. She went from a nice thin figure to out of shape and it really crept up on me. She has a double chin and big stomach. She also doesn't really care to do anything about it. She might lose a few pounds for a big event and then go right back to where she was before. She'll often eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's and I'll look at her and just shake my head. She's been congratulated on being pregnant, but she isn't, that's her food baby. She's also losing her hair. Wtf. She gets really badly bloated when eating dairy and carbs but she says she doesn't care she likes eating those foods and won't stop even though it looks god awful.

I stay in shape, go to the gym. I fantasize about how she used to look and other younger, hotter girls and coworkers. We have sex way less often.

I would like her to get back to at least close to what she was before. Otherwise honestly I can't see a marriage working.

Any advice?

Before:
View attachment 5166

Now:
View attachment 5167
View attachment 5168


Monogamy!

Voice mate, I am curious if she is on your gym schedule. This is western society LTR and monogamy. Catch and release works. Nip it in the bud now. Or pull the chute.
 

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wifehunter

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I never go by weight as we all know muscle weighs more than fat. Always go by how you look and fit in your clothes.

Speaking from experience, this is true. : )

And, I now think fasting is important to fat loss, disease avoidance, and long life.

Triple whammy!!!
 
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death_wish. .

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Speaking from experience, this true. : )

And, I now think fasting is important to fat loss, disease avoidance, and long life.

Triple whammy!!!
more important for some than others , some ppl just cant digest food , they need extra time (fasting) just to keep up
 

redskinsfan92

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We've been together for 7 years and she's really slowly fallen off with her looks the past few years. She went from a nice thin figure to out of shape and it really crept up on me. She has a double chin and big stomach. She also doesn't really care to do anything about it. She might lose a few pounds for a big event and then go right back to where she was before. She'll often eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's and I'll look at her and just shake my head. She's been congratulated on being pregnant, but she isn't, that's her food baby. She's also losing her hair. Wtf. She gets really badly bloated when eating dairy and carbs but she says she doesn't care she likes eating those foods and won't stop even though it looks god awful.

I stay in shape, go to the gym. I fantasize about how she used to look and other younger, hotter girls and coworkers. We have sex way less often.

I would like her to get back to at least close to what she was before. Otherwise honestly I can't see a marriage working.

Any advice?

Before:
View attachment 5166

Now:
View attachment 5167
View attachment 5168
Leave her
 

Atom Smasher

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more important for some than others , some ppl just cant digest food , they need extra time (fasting) just to keep up
I’m beginning to think that this is true of me.
 

bat soup

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We've been together for 7 years and she's really slowly fallen off with her looks the past few years. She went from a nice thin figure to out of shape and it really crept up on me. She has a double chin and big stomach. She also doesn't really care to do anything about it. She might lose a few pounds for a big event and then go right back to where she was before. She'll often eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's and I'll look at her and just shake my head. She's been congratulated on being pregnant, but she isn't, that's her food baby. She's also losing her hair. Wtf. She gets really badly bloated when eating dairy and carbs but she says she doesn't care she likes eating those foods and won't stop even though it looks god awful.

I stay in shape, go to the gym. I fantasize about how she used to look and other younger, hotter girls and coworkers. We have sex way less often.

I would like her to get back to at least close to what she was before. Otherwise honestly I can't see a marriage working.

Any advice?

Before:
View attachment 5166

Now:
View attachment 5167
View attachment 5168
Get out now whilst you still can. Find a girl 10 years younger and enjoy another 7 or 8 years of good sex.
 

KindredSpiritzz

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my ex was like that. Plumped out soon as we got married and kept going. When id say something she'd tell me i should love her no matter how much she weighed. I realized she was turning into her mom and divorced her. Best decision i ever made, 20 yrs later she IS her mom, shaped like a brick and ugly. I dodged a bullet by divorcing her even tho it cost me 20 yrs of child support it was a good decision. Id of put a bullet in my head by now had i stayed. those years you waste on someone you can never get back
 

Voice

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Not doey but you can definitely hit the gym harder man. Jump on the intermittent fasting crew. 5x5 strength train split. Inspire her and others lulz
I'm in a high covid area, have been avoiding the gym lately but I bought some heavy duty bands. I don't get the same amount of DOMS with the bands.

Also I've been basically just doing portion control and already lost 3-4 pounds. Goal is to get the body fat under 12%.

As for the fiance she has periods where she looks pretty good, her stomach is flatter, looks healthier etc but then there are other periods where her whole body looks bloated including her face and stomach. Idk what's going on. I suspect it's some sort of dairy/wheat thing going on. Could be hormones?

I know I sound like an ******* but if she lost like 10-15 lbs it would be a world of difference.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I'm in a high covid area, have been avoiding the gym lately but I bought some heavy duty bands. I don't get the same amount of DOMS with the bands.

Also I've been basically just doing portion control and already lost 3-4 pounds. Goal is to get the body fat under 12%.

As for the fiance she has periods where she looks pretty good, her stomach is flatter, looks healthier etc but then there are other periods where her whole body looks bloated including her face and stomach. Idk what's going on. I suspect it's some sort of dairy/wheat thing going on. Could be hormones?
Voice mate, scoop a set of gymnastic rings on amazon. DONE! CALI KING FTW! YOUTUBE fitness faq. The year was calisthenics and hitting it hard. Real hard. The cali transformation will turn you super sayain. I added in Fasting too. The outcome is stupid. Not even comparable. I have not been this aesthetic since my early twenties but my strength is ridiculous. I have not been this strong. I have all functional workouts. Building a cali routine is different. I also added on kettlebell workouts. We've had multiple lockdowns in the UK. Its super annoying but my joints feel like being a kid again. The lack of iron and more cali functioning exercise was a wonder on my body. Give it a go.

I am far from a white Knight. The easy thing to do is for me to take out the flame thrower and torch the gf. Troll really hard. I recommend using pandemic and going super sayain mode. It will absolutely accelerate your motivations. She will follow suit. Approaching women won't hurt especially while you jump on the intermittent fasting crew and calisthenics King routines.

I lead. She follows or next. Repeat till d falls off or dead. The approach is golden. If she doesn't step it up after you go, then drop her off as it will go bad. It's that law of state transference. Forget about the jargon. Just go 1st. Its that same mindset for sales, pickup, the job hunt or whatever. Inspire the uninspired. Most people are coping. Barely getting by. Then you come in!

It could be hormones, what she ate, stress or she could be getting fat or worse, pregnant. Strap up bro. Again, set the pace. Your not in bad shape especially with the 9 month pandemic shutdown etc. Going shred calis. I don't have the space for a home gym. Rings take no space. Outdoors is a good thing. Any excuse to get out. Another excuse to approach.
 

bcude

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I realized she was turning into her mom and divorced her. Best decision i ever made, 20 yrs later she IS her mom, shaped like a brick and ugly. I dodged a bullet by divorcing her even tho it cost me 20 yrs of child support it was a good decision. Id of put a bullet in my head by now had i stayed. those years you waste on someone you can never get back
Yep. It rings true once again.
Genetics. Always look at the parents.
Not always the case but it's usually a good guideline and reliable indicator what her greatest female influence is doing/behaving/conducting herself when it comes to appearance.
OP, don't settle. Her current mindset is a disrespect to your masculinity. Talk with her about the importance of sex for you in a relationship and it goes without saying that you should always inspire her as the leader of the relationship.
 

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flowtheory

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Here's another pic bro, you see any dough?

View attachment 5191

Denial is a river in Egypt
To me? Slightly doughy.

You need to build more muscle and then to lean down.

If you’re wanting 12% BF now you will just look skinny.

You don’t have clear shape or muscle
separation.

You have some work to do

I would do this if I were you:
Clean eating 90% of time
250cals above maintenance.
High carb, high protein, low fat
IF a if you wish with 6-7 hour eating window
Just black coffee in morning for 4 hours

-4 day Upper lower split-
Warmup
1-2 ab movements
Workout under 50mins 80% compound/20%isolation
stretching after

Give it 6 months. Then post pics and then maybe leave you gf
 
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Voice

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We cook with a lot of olive oil. I think we overdo it. It's probably the healthiest oil but I definitely think it has something to do with the dough. I plan on going high protein, carbs only whole grain if I can and easy on the olive oil and decrease the cheese intake.

As far as the IF, when would the workout be? After dinner? After lunch? Before?
 

flowtheory

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We cook with a lot of olive oil. I think we overdo it. It's probably the healthiest oil but I definitely think it has something to do with the dough. I plan on going high protein, carbs only whole grain if I can and easy on the olive oil and decrease the cheese intake.

As far as the IF, when would the workout be? After dinner? After lunch? Before?
Everything that goes in to your dishes ends up in your stomach and then in to fuel or storage. Have to be cognoscente of macros if you have a hard goal.. measuring and such. This is why 90% of people who workout don’t end up looking how they want. The effort and attention is too much.

The workout with IF would be whenever you can do it. Not much has to change with IF. Initially the shift will be odd or take two weeks because it’s a lifestyle change.

Like any weightlifting or other hobby, do it when YOU can give it its best effort and will have steady and sustained clear output, yknow?
I love reading and do a lot. But there’s no way in heck I can read Camu of Dostoevsky right after waking up or right before bed. I’m better reading and retaining at lunch or at 6-9pm.

I personally feel best with workouts in the afternoon.
 

bat soup

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I'm in a high covid area, have been avoiding the gym lately but I bought some heavy duty bands. I don't get the same amount of DOMS with the bands.

Also I've been basically just doing portion control and already lost 3-4 pounds. Goal is to get the body fat under 12%.

As for the fiance she has periods where she looks pretty good, her stomach is flatter, looks healthier etc but then there are other periods where her whole body looks bloated including her face and stomach. Idk what's going on. I suspect it's some sort of dairy/wheat thing going on. Could be hormones?

I know I sound like an ******* but if she lost like 10-15 lbs it would be a world of difference.
She's never going to look as good as she can did. Over the long term she's only going to get worse.
 
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