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Fiance is getting fat and ugly

samspade

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I would say she does enjoy running. It's not my thing but I do it with her. It's honestly more of a diet thing for her. More specifically what she drinks.

I fcking hate starbucks because she gets giant sized drinks that are probably 500 calories or will get an ice coffee with a **** load of creamer in it. As soon as she started drinking that stuff she gained weight. She even got me hooked on it, it's fcking delicious.

A lot of times she'll exercise or run or whatever for a week or two and step on the scale and there isn't much of a change. I tell her it's because if what she eats and drinks but she just gets offended and frustrated.
Yeah it's a lot easier to control what you put in your mouth than to burn it off your thighs/stomach. It's very hard to outrun a bad diet. I recommend the 16/8 fasting method...it changed the way I think about food and hunger. Good way to change bad habits and give your body a chance to metabolize.
 

Clamslammer

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We've been together for 7 years and she's really slowly fallen off with her looks the past few years. She went from a nice thin figure to out of shape and it really crept up on me. She has a double chin and big stomach. She also doesn't really care to do anything about it. She might lose a few pounds for a big event and then go right back to where she was before. She'll often eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's and I'll look at her and just shake my head. She's been congratulated on being pregnant, but she isn't, that's her food baby. She's also losing her hair. Wtf. She gets really badly bloated when eating dairy and carbs but she says she doesn't care she likes eating those foods and won't stop even though it looks god awful.

I stay in shape, go to the gym. I fantasize about how she used to look and other younger, hotter girls and coworkers. We have sex way less often.

I would like her to get back to at least close to what she was before. Otherwise honestly I can't see a marriage working.

Any advice?

Before:
View attachment 5166

Now:
View attachment 5167
View attachment 5168
Put a fork in her...the wall is here. You need to get out of this relationship before its too late and find a girl that has the same values as you. One she does not look healthy. Physical attraction is important throughout a relationship and both parties should work on staying in shape. You aren't trying to make her look like ahe did when she was 18 but she does not even care. There is no reason she cannot work out 30 min a day for 3-4 days a week.
 

Mauser96

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15% BF is fairly high. I mean at 5’10 and 175 you would be pretty doughy yourself.
It’s possible that OP could be her relative aesthetic and He’s just unhappy with her appearance. You working out and going to a gym doesn’t tell us anything about how you look.

Maybe the approach of changing yourself before changing the world is in order.

Oftentimes couples are the same weight/look in LTR’s. Rarely do I see a fit and out of shape person, if they weren’t already like that from the start.
Not necessarily. I am 5'9 or 5'10 and 208 lbs. At 190 I would be pretty ripped
 

mrgoodstuff

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Not necessarily. I am 5'9 or 5'10 and 208 lbs. At 190 I would be pretty ripped
I had a GF who was 5'10" to 5'11" @ 185. "Solid muscle" for a female, she had a 28 inch waist, everything hard. Big Amazon lady. Former athelete.
 

flowtheory

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Not necessarily. I am 5'9 or 5'10 and 208 lbs. At 190 I would be pretty ripped
Right.. but that’s close to 20lbs difference. And in the world of leanness 20lbs of water weight and fat is fairly high.

Also.. 208 lbs on a 5’10 frame is going to look much different from 175lbs on a 5’10 frame...
Saying they are both 15% BF.

208 lbs would be carrying a substantial amount more of muscle. So the comparison is moot and not at all a good example
 

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Mauser96

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Right.. but that’s close to 20lbs difference. And in the world of leanness 20lbs of water weight and fat is fairly high.

Also.. 208 lbs on a 5’10 frame is going to look much different from 175lbs on a 5’10 frame...
Saying they are both 15% BF.

208 lbs would be carrying a substantial amount more of muscle. So the comparison is moot and not at all a good example

I was simply responding your blanket statement that at 5'10" 175 would be doughy. That is not true.
 

flowtheory

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I was simply responding your blanket statement that at 5'10" 175 would be doughy. That is not true.
But he already said he was 15% body fat. So yes.. that would be doughy.
@mrgoodstuff’s example negekects that 15% bf marker.
Of course 165 through 185 on 5’10 could be tight and ripped
 

christie

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Yep, not true. On 5'10" 165 thru 185 can be seriously "tight" weights. It's like 140 on a 5'6" to 5'7" female.
I miss my 144 at 5'5".
I have confidence I'll get there again.

I was on two sports teams, rode my bike everywhere as I had no vehicle and had a high libido boyfriend/relationship so repeating all that, I know I can get there again.

I have more muscle too now, than I did back then. I'm excited.




I wish the OP's fiance could look into giving up wheat and dairy. What an incredible and immediate change there would be.

The hair loss would stop and as in my case, going gray-er gets arrested. Skin tone, good digestion and better mood and high energy all return.




In the pictures, her body simply looks inflammed from these food allergies that contributed to weird weight gain.

Wheat Belly and Grain Brain are two excellent books to get started. There is incredibly supportive wheat belly facebook groups too, that the OP can tell her about.
 

Mauser96

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But he already said he was 15% body fat. So yes.. that would be doughy.
@mrgoodstuff’s example negekects that 15% bf marker.
Of course 165 through 185 on 5’10 could be tight and ripped
Right you are .

and his pics shows, he is doughy. I stand corrected.
 

flowtheory

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Am i the only one noticing the mess in the background? Just that would be enough to not even think about marriage. Next!!
I’m sure everyone at least noticed subconsciously. But it all adds to the photo. Hair frazzled, rolls hanging out, sunburnt, prescription pills in foreground, plays to the after mess..
 

mrgoodstuff

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I miss my 144 at 5'5".
I have confidence I'll get there again.

I was on two sports teams, rode my bike everywhere as I had no vehicle and had a high libido boyfriend/relationship so repeating all that, I know I can get there again.

I have more muscle too now, than I did back then. I'm excited.




I wish the OP's fiance could look into giving up wheat and dairy. What an incredible and immediate change there would be.

The hair loss would stop and as in my case, going gray-er gets arrested. Skin tone, good digestion and better mood and high energy all return.




In the pictures, her body simply looks inflammed from these food allergies that contributed to weird weight gain.

Wheat Belly and Grain Brain are two excellent books to get started. There is incredibly supportive wheat belly facebook groups too, that the OP can tell her about.
I have no doubt you can get it done.
 

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Voice

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I’m sure everyone at least noticed subconsciously. But it all adds to the photo. Hair frazzled, rolls hanging out, sunburnt, prescription pills in foreground, plays to the after mess..
Lol. We have a one bedroom apartment with no storage space and it's 2 grand a month. It's expensive as fck where we live. Those clothes was laundry or something and I think we just got back from a vacation our stuff was everywhere.
 
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