You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
that's based on your presupposition of timelinesIn Tralfamadorian philosophy, when a person dies they only appear to die. They are alive in other moments in the past. They may be in bad condition upon the moment of death, but they are doing great in other moments.
There is only one timeline presupposed and one is able to move along the timeline in either direction freely at will. All time points are observed simultaneously, like a range of mountains on the horizon. So when an Earthling is captured and taken to the planetary zoo, they are also still alive and happy at other points in their existence and so as captors, the Tralfamadorians don't feel any guilt.that's based on your presupposition of timelines
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
that's eternalism but I take the position of philosophical presentismThere is only one timeline presupposed and one is able to move along the timeline in either direction freely at will. All time points are observed simultaneously, like a range of mountains on the horizon. So when an Earthling is captured and taken to the planetary zoo, they are also still alive and happy at other points in their existence and so as captors, the Tralfamadorians don't feel any guilt.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
People only look forward to death because their life is miserable. I’m enjoying my time here and don’t want it to end.Observing my family elders over the years (4 grands and 3 great-grands still lived when i was young), i came to conclusion, the older you get, the less you worry about death. In some cases, people are even fed up enough at life, they look forward to death.
So, instead of worrying about death, you should think about how to make the next 30 years of your life count.
Decide what you consider to be a "worthy" life, write it down and focus on achieving it.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I m in 50s. Holding down a high pressure job in a major bank. Beat a tennis player in his 20s last night. On top of the Mrs as much as she can handle. I agree on 60s by then nobody wants you.Nope or at least not that much...what scares the **** out of me is getting old.
Losing strenght and potential while slowling becoming a dead weight for those around me.
Lets be honest, all those "men peak in their 50s" lines are pure bullsh1t, your 70s will suck and your 80s even more.
I suppose we all are. I heard Kevin Samuels talk about a man placing parameters around what he holds most precious to him (family, wife, kids etc). Ones willingness to go out on his ****ing shield.I am terrified of death. The thought of not existing scares me unlike anything else.
I watched a Ram Dass doc. I later learned he died shortly after. He lost most of his health and mobility. he had a terrible stroke. The guy looked high on life. If enlightenment was a real thing, I think he found it. I'm sure living out your days like this is terrifying and yet this guy owned it. I am working on enjoying the moment yet making moves. It's not easy.I used to... in my teens and early 20’s the world was amazing and possibilities are endless. The thought of leaving terrified me... at 40 things narrow and doors start to close. I am sure as I get older and older... friends will pass on, energy will fade, strength will decline and all that’s eventually left is the memories of what was.... so when that comes I will look forward to leaving my meat suit and progressing to my next story. Already there are so many souls I cannot wait to see again even if it might be brief. For now... making those memories to carry me thru my old Age is important.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.