You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
that's based on your presupposition of timelinesIn Tralfamadorian philosophy, when a person dies they only appear to die. They are alive in other moments in the past. They may be in bad condition upon the moment of death, but they are doing great in other moments.
There is only one timeline presupposed and one is able to move along the timeline in either direction freely at will. All time points are observed simultaneously, like a range of mountains on the horizon. So when an Earthling is captured and taken to the planetary zoo, they are also still alive and happy at other points in their existence and so as captors, the Tralfamadorians don't feel any guilt.that's based on your presupposition of timelines
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
that's eternalism but I take the position of philosophical presentismThere is only one timeline presupposed and one is able to move along the timeline in either direction freely at will. All time points are observed simultaneously, like a range of mountains on the horizon. So when an Earthling is captured and taken to the planetary zoo, they are also still alive and happy at other points in their existence and so as captors, the Tralfamadorians don't feel any guilt.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
People only look forward to death because their life is miserable. I’m enjoying my time here and don’t want it to end.Observing my family elders over the years (4 grands and 3 great-grands still lived when i was young), i came to conclusion, the older you get, the less you worry about death. In some cases, people are even fed up enough at life, they look forward to death.
So, instead of worrying about death, you should think about how to make the next 30 years of your life count.
Decide what you consider to be a "worthy" life, write it down and focus on achieving it.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I m in 50s. Holding down a high pressure job in a major bank. Beat a tennis player in his 20s last night. On top of the Mrs as much as she can handle. I agree on 60s by then nobody wants you.Nope or at least not that much...what scares the **** out of me is getting old.
Losing strenght and potential while slowling becoming a dead weight for those around me.
Lets be honest, all those "men peak in their 50s" lines are pure bullsh1t, your 70s will suck and your 80s even more.
I suppose we all are. I heard Kevin Samuels talk about a man placing parameters around what he holds most precious to him (family, wife, kids etc). Ones willingness to go out on his ****ing shield.I am terrified of death. The thought of not existing scares me unlike anything else.
I watched a Ram Dass doc. I later learned he died shortly after. He lost most of his health and mobility. he had a terrible stroke. The guy looked high on life. If enlightenment was a real thing, I think he found it. I'm sure living out your days like this is terrifying and yet this guy owned it. I am working on enjoying the moment yet making moves. It's not easy.I used to... in my teens and early 20’s the world was amazing and possibilities are endless. The thought of leaving terrified me... at 40 things narrow and doors start to close. I am sure as I get older and older... friends will pass on, energy will fade, strength will decline and all that’s eventually left is the memories of what was.... so when that comes I will look forward to leaving my meat suit and progressing to my next story. Already there are so many souls I cannot wait to see again even if it might be brief. For now... making those memories to carry me thru my old Age is important.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.