"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Coffee makes me sh*t

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iwanttofight

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How come every time I drink a warm cup of delicious coffee, shortly after I got to take a mean sh*t?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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speed dawg

speed dawg

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Caffeine, you moron. It's a stimulant. You are just now coming to this conclusion?
 
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Alle_Gory

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Gee I dunno, lol.

Or maybe you can look up the diuretic effects of coffee. You do have a computer and access to Google, do you not?
 
Bible_Belt

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A guy I knew once took a job at Barnes and Noble, because he thought he would just stand around and hit on girls all day. As it turned out, he spent more time cleaning diarrhea off toilet seats. The bookstore had a coffee shop, so the bathroom was a popular place.
 
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ArcBound

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Bible_Belt said:
A guy I knew once took a job at Barnes and Noble, because he thought he would just stand around and hit on girls all day. As it turned out, he spent more time cleaning diarrhea off toilet seats. The bookstore had a coffee shop, so the bathroom was a popular place.
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Drank 5 energy drinks while pulling an all nighter. Felt so fvckin sick the next 2 days and sh!t and pissed so much :(
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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iwanttofight

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Dang just had some coffee. Guess what? I had to take a massive sh*t after I drank the coffee.
 
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bullethead

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**** no... piss yes... do you put milk in your coffee, your probably lactose intolerant
 
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Alle_Gory

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DanZy said:
You are an idiot.

It's the caffeine, as others have said above
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Duuuuhhhh, caffeine? Is that like a brand of race car tire? Huuuuurrrrr, duuuuurrrrrr.... uhhhhhh.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Down Low

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Sh1t: coffee at a coffee shop

No sh1t: Yum Yum / Winchell's

No sh1t: home Mr. Coffee with a paper filter inside a metal filter, and medium roast @ 1 teaspoon of beans (before grinding) per six-ounce "cup"

I think Yum Yum / Winchell's uses medium roast as well.

Something to think about next time you race off to the pot.
 
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OlsenJillian

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ohhhhhhhhhhhh guys ahahahaa
it's been a while since i laughed so hard :D :crazy:
actually any warm food/drink can make you sh*t :D
and it just means your digestion is not as good as you might think :D
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Alle_Gory

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DanZy said:
^if that was meant to be humorous, I'd say you failed miserably.
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Fvck that, I'm hilarious. Take a swig of vodka and read again.
 
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