"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Coffee makes me sh*t

Status
Not open for further replies.
I

iwanttofight

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 28, 2011
Messages
213
Reaction score
3
How come every time I drink a warm cup of delicious coffee, shortly after I got to take a mean sh*t?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

speed dawg

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,735
Reaction score
1,223
Location
The Dirty South
Caffeine, you moron. It's a stimulant. You are just now coming to this conclusion?
 
A

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
4,194
Reaction score
79
Location
T-Dot
Gee I dunno, lol.

Or maybe you can look up the diuretic effects of coffee. You do have a computer and access to Google, do you not?
 
Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,577
Reaction score
6,360
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
A guy I knew once took a job at Barnes and Noble, because he thought he would just stand around and hit on girls all day. As it turned out, he spent more time cleaning diarrhea off toilet seats. The bookstore had a coffee shop, so the bathroom was a popular place.
 
A

ArcBound

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 15, 2009
Messages
1,525
Reaction score
114
Location
U.S. East
Bible_Belt said:
A guy I knew once took a job at Barnes and Noble, because he thought he would just stand around and hit on girls all day. As it turned out, he spent more time cleaning diarrhea off toilet seats. The bookstore had a coffee shop, so the bathroom was a popular place.
Click to expand...
Drank 5 energy drinks while pulling an all nighter. Felt so fvckin sick the next 2 days and sh!t and pissed so much :(
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

I

iwanttofight

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 28, 2011
Messages
213
Reaction score
3
Dang just had some coffee. Guess what? I had to take a massive sh*t after I drank the coffee.
 
B

bullethead

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2011
Messages
79
Reaction score
1
**** no... piss yes... do you put milk in your coffee, your probably lactose intolerant
 
A

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
4,194
Reaction score
79
Location
T-Dot
DanZy said:
You are an idiot.

It's the caffeine, as others have said above
Click to expand...
Duuuuhhhh, caffeine? Is that like a brand of race car tire? Huuuuurrrrr, duuuuurrrrrr.... uhhhhhh.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

D

Down Low

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 21, 2012
Messages
1,049
Reaction score
62
Location
Maryland
Sh1t: coffee at a coffee shop

No sh1t: Yum Yum / Winchell's

No sh1t: home Mr. Coffee with a paper filter inside a metal filter, and medium roast @ 1 teaspoon of beans (before grinding) per six-ounce "cup"

I think Yum Yum / Winchell's uses medium roast as well.

Something to think about next time you race off to the pot.
 
O

OlsenJillian

New Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2012
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
ohhhhhhhhhhhh guys ahahahaa
it's been a while since i laughed so hard :D :crazy:
actually any warm food/drink can make you sh*t :D
and it just means your digestion is not as good as you might think :D
__________________
mp3 editor
 
A

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
4,194
Reaction score
79
Location
T-Dot
DanZy said:
^if that was meant to be humorous, I'd say you failed miserably.
Click to expand...
Fvck that, I'm hilarious. Take a swig of vodka and read again.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top