Are Male Friends Worth It?

[Murk]

Male friends and being social keeps me sane

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Are male friends worth it? Yes, if you enjoy doing the same activities and you share a similar world view it adds a nice balance to your life.

But always remember this. The vast majority of your male friends would bang your wife if given the chance. And that’s just being real about it. Not to say that male friendships aren’t worth it, but be aware that most dudes throw other dudes under the bus for women. Friends and family included.

I would not bang my friend’s wives. Yuck.

 

[svencandy]

I'm struggling with this at the moment.
As we pass 30, hanging out is less, and it's usually just beers and watch sportsball.
We did a trip to another capital city for the cricket last year. Beer all day.
Went on a holiday to a beach house, TV was on from the second we woke up, there was some surfing and fishing involved.
Majority of conversation was around work and their partners/kids.

 

[LTG71]

At this point in my life, I value my friendships with men more than I do any of my interactions with women. The most loyal and enduring relationships in my life have always been with my male friends. In my personal experience with women, and my experience with thousands of women as a divorce lawyer, my conclusion is that women lack the "loyalty gene", especially when it comes to their interactions with men. A man that prioritizes his relationships with women over his male friends will usually end up miserable, depressed, and divorced, wishing he had listened to his "a-hole" Alpha male friends that told him never to marry that *****.

100%. Female friends also can’t relate to your male life experiences. Women are often narcissist and have trouble seeing the world from a man’s perspective. Men and women also view friendships from their same sex frame of reference, reason male-female friendships are so challenging. Like Rollo says, “If you are not f-ing her, then you are her girl friend.” So if you end up in the “friendzone,” the average woman will never act like your guy friends do. Which will ultimately be less rewarding in the long run in my experience.

 

[madeit]

Try meeting guys in different places and having " tiers" of friends. Basically you can have a piece meal social life.

I have a friend I mostly just rock climb with - but we chat and are pretty tight. Two other guys he is closer with I'll hang out with them as a group with him.


Then I have a few close friends - but they live far and we chat on the phone often.

I also have some acquaintances I get a long pretty well with at events.

I'd say - having a spectrum of friend ship works - not being all or nothing wanting just perfect friends or nothing. As having some social relationships in your life is really helpful.

Another thing that has helped me is - going to group events ( but not like where everyone knows each other)

For example I go to speaking clubs, a business networking meetup , a video editing meetup.

Basically places where you are exposed to a lot of people at once ( but not a whole group of people who are already friends) it gives a much better chance of you clicking with someone.

One of my good friends, we met in a business accountability group- the other guys were absolute jokers who never showed up again - but me and him kept meeting for a freaking year - made progress and became good friends. So stuff like that - give yourself the opportunity to be exposed to a lot of people.
Also make sure you work on yourself - do you bring value to the table?

 

[Zimbabwe]

I'm going against the grain here but I see no real need for male friends, everything I can do with them I can just do with a girlfriend if I want to see a movie I rather take my girlfriend and not a bunch of guys.

Most guys are not going to help land you good jobs or give you access to women, I don't see myself wanting to waste my free time hanging out with a bunch of guys.

 

[HoneyHitter]

This question “Are male friends worth it?” could only be asked in peace time.