Male friends are less attractive when you have a younger hot wife.
Sounds like you just are using lousy people as an example.
It's optimal -
I'd argue necessary, in fact - to have a strong (even if small) circle of men you can trust.
Nothing beats that kind of fraternity. Women cheat, women leave you - hypergamy and such - while solid friends won't.
This isn't an effortless coast. Sometimes, coordinating schedules to make plans, resolving silly disputes, picking up the phone or firing off a text or email can be tough. But it's worth it.
Even if you have a great relationship with a hot younger wife, like you mentioned, it's going to put strain on your relationship if that's your
only relationship.
And this isn't all just feel-good pop-psychology babble either. What happens when you and your wife get in an argument? Who do you vent to?
Feminists and women who like to play the victim have a term they like to bandy around called 'emotional labour' and it's the first thing they'll trot out to diagnose marriage problems when men make their '
sweety-wifey-pookums' their #1 concern in life, and neglect all other relationships to their extreme detriment.
This is one of the few times they have a point. Most red-blooded men who've let their wives or girlfriends become their entire social life start treating those women like friends, overwhelming them with emotional needs that they should be fulfilling through multiple relationships, one romantic, many others, platonic.
And the consequences of men pushing other people away and only putting effort into wooing and keeping around a woman can't be understated.
Social isolation kills.
This idea that every man must be a stoical alpha-chad wall of stone is bull****. Human beings - men, obviously to a lesser extent than women - need someone to confide in, to vent to, sometimes without a filter, and sometimes, maybe, about the ways wifey ticks you off every once in a while.
I have a friend, long term, like 25 years, who was always a womaniser...cheated on his pregnant GF with a hog...Plus when we were together, he started doing the dominance thing on me (in front of her)
That's just a lousy friend. There's not harm in dropping them, but you can't write off putting in the effort to maintain healthy fraternity with other men because of your one lame pickup-artist friend from the bygone college days of yore who goes around trying to poach other men's girlfriends and wives like a scumbag. That's an objectively crappy, opportunistic person - who the hell would want to keep him around?
He’s done the dirty on friends before. The hard thing is, he is exceptionally good looking.
Well, that's part of why he can get away with being a terrible person - but again - that's still not an argument against maintaining healthy male friendships.
My other long term mate I’m on good terms with but I am much more succesful than him and I think it bugs him, he is constantly trying to prove himself (but he’s not a bad guy and the friendship is genuine)
Is he really, or are you doing something unctuous or annoying and making him angry? I don't see a lot of self-reflection in this post. If you are above reproach and are not unconsciously doing something to get on his nerves, sometimes maintaining a good friendship is just doing what you can to mitigate those issues. Sometimes it helps to just swallow your pride and let sleeping dogs lie.
Obviously, I'm an evangelist for healthy fraternity, but I'd have long ago broken up with my woman, had I not the opportunity to kick back with the boys and vent in front of a fireplace at the cabin, beer in hand, shooting the ****, with no care in the world for political correctness and what may or may not offend someone's wife of girlfriend.
I've gone through periods where I tried to be the cool-dude-alpha-wolf without any friends. It works for a bit, but eventually, I'd end up dumping all my energy into trash-tier relationships with women who were overwhelmed with how needy I was, while I worked in another state for about five years, very far away from where I grew up and where the rest of my social circle lived.
It was a horrible, embittering experience, and it took a lot of self-critical thinking to find the error in my ways, and make inferences about why every relationship I had out there went down in flames, and why it was so hard to meet and keep women around - and it was because I was demanding every woman I got close to play the role of lover and handful of platonic friends.
My quality of life - and the relationships I had - exponentiated when I returned to where I grew up and could spend time with my pals again.
i find male friendships are just jam packed full of competition.
Yeah, some of them. Look, it's not easy to build friends, to find a "tribe," so to speak. And while "doing the same things," per se, won't necessarily build you the best strong group of solid friends right away, it's a step in the right direction.
