3 years. Still not over her

TyTe`EyEz

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There's a myth in the manosphere that men are promiscuous and polygamous and women are chaste and monogamous. Because this obviously clashes against the reality, especially to anyone who has actually studied biology, the way the narrative handles it is to say that monogamous men are beta/fools/cucks and that promiscuous women are corrupted/damaged. But the narrative is a stupid idea, and a lie. First, it is not true enough even on a general level. Second, "men" and "women" vary too much on an individual basis to define any single sexual strategy for each gender. Some men are more or less inclined to monogamy, and the same for women. This is something that can be observed in other species too. There are both biological and practical reasons why mating strategies differ.

Don't let these uneducated fools and cluster Bs tell you who you are supposed to be. Some of us feel a need to be promiscuous more to keep up in the race than because that's what we are really looking for, especially if you take the validation itself out of the picture.



Promiscuous, unstable people are likely to form a disproportionate amount of everyone's experience, because they are the ones who are going around from person to person imitating what those people are longing for, and it gets worse if the prey is codependent. This is especially true if those promiscuous people are particularly attractive, and so the preferred choice above the others available to the prey.

Me, I don't have an answer to your question of how you could ever wife a woman because I am pondering the same thing. I think the answer is probably two more questions:

1 - Can you tell if a woman really desires and cares about you or is just pretending to?
2 - Are you able to accept change?

If you say yes to both, I assume you would at least be well equipped.
You're the prince of editing your posts, so I'll give you a minute.
 
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TyTe`EyEz

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He is 53 years old and you are giving him this advice?




That's a solid catch-22.



You don't sound like a nearcel so not likely.



...which means you are not nearcel like the other OP.



You don't sound at all like the other OP. You can build up a tolerance because you have enough attraction out there to begin with. If it's too "once in a blue moon" then you are going to bond because you think you are getting a break from inceldom and the out of league lady is doing you a favour.
Gotta give it to the man, he's smart and can bring a good argument. And he's not even plagiarizing here!
 

corrector

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My ex-fiance break-up was in November 18, 2012, which is 7 years ago. Memories were stimulated recently from viewing Lion King because it reminded me of taking her to the zoo and African Lion Safari when I saw the Elephants. Also Mamia Mia 1 & 2 reminded me about her as well. Earlier to the time I had it really hard because I introduced her to some of my bike trails and introduced her to biking. So, when I go on some of my bike trails after the break-up, I have to feel the memories first hand up to today since nobody has ever riden with me on those trials since her. (Not every girl is into biking to be fair or, even if they are, into biking on nature trials).

You can't lose the memories, you can't replace her with another woman that you meet in the future, and even if you find another woman, it may not be the same magic soul-mate connection.
 

TyTe`EyEz

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My ex-fiance break-up was in November 18, 2012, which is 7 years ago. Memories were stimulated recently from viewing Lion King because it reminded me of taking her to the zoo and African Lion Safari when I saw the Elephants. Also Mamia Mia 1 & 2 reminded me about her as well. Earlier to the time I had it really hard because I introduced her to some of my bike trails and introduced her to biking. So, when I go on some of my bike trails after the break-up, I have to feel the memories first hand up to today since nobody has ever riden with me on those trials since her. (Not every girl is into biking to be fair or, even if they are, into biking on nature trials).

You can't lose the memories, you can't replace her with another woman that you meet in the future, and even if you find another woman, it may not be the same magic soul-mate connection.
Sorry for your loss. Do you still have a pair of nuts? I'll give you time to check.

Life goes on. Men have been through much worse than you, so as a movie buff, you should know that. Maybe watch a war flick next time.
 

AttackFormation

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You're the prince of editing your posts, so I'll give you a minute.
I'm done with it now. Reading, writing, analyzing and synthesizing is what I seem to like to do, that's why.

Give it to me baby.
 
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TyTe`EyEz

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You can't lose the memories, you can't replace her with another woman that you meet in the future, and even if you find another woman, it may not be the same magic soul-mate connection.
I hear ya. Been there, done that. I think we all have, and that's why we're on sosuave.

Women don't view the world the same way we do, and it leads to a lot of heartbreak.

Gotta get over it, though, man. Or else lay down the sword.
 

TyTe`EyEz

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There's a myth in the manosphere that men are promiscuous and polygamous and women are chaste and monogamous. Because this obviously clashes against the reality, especially to anyone who has actually studied biology, the way the narrative handles it is to say that monogamous men are beta/fools/cucks and that promiscuous women are corrupted/damaged. But the narrative is a stupid idea, and a lie. First, it is not true enough even on a general level. Second, "men" and "women" vary too much on an individual basis to define any single sexual strategy for each gender. Some men are more or less inclined to monogamy, and the same for women. This is something that can be observed in other species too. There are both biological and practical reasons why mating strategies differ.
My experience with promiscuity is much different than one a woman may have had. It was the woman's promiscuity that changed my blue-pill thinking, good sir. I doubt that any woman changed her view of the world after fvcking me. Unless she thanked God for orgasming so much!

Don't let these uneducated fools and cluster Bs tell you who you are supposed to be. Some of us feel a need to be promiscuous more to keep up in the race than because that's what we are really looking for, especially if you take the validation itself out of the picture.



Promiscuous, unstable people are likely to form a disproportionate amount of everyone's experience, because they are the ones who are going around from person to person imitating what those people are longing for, and it gets worse if the prey is codependent. This is especially true if those promiscuous people are particularly attractive, and so the preferred choice above the others available to the prey.
Well, we can't be so quick to cast blame, as we're guilty ourselves. Maybe hate the baby boomers, but other than that, I figure society is taking its course.

Me, I don't have an answer to your question of how you could ever wife a woman because I am pondering the same thing. I think the answer is probably two more questions:

1 - Can you tell if a woman really desires and cares about you or is just pretending to?
2 - Are you able to accept change?

If you say yes to both, I assume you would at least be well equipped.
My answer, as of now, is you don't wife a woman. Unless you find a unicorn that LA reminds me about from time to time
 

TyTe`EyEz

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Promiscuous, unstable people are likely to form a disproportionate amount of everyone's experience, because they are the ones who are going around from person to person imitating what those people are longing for, and it gets worse if the prey is codependent. This is especially true if those promiscuous people are particularly attractive, and so the preferred choice above the others available to the prey.
The problem is, this is the norm now. This is the "average" girl you're meeting on OLD. Or at the bar. Or at church.

If she's married, she fvcking. If she's single, she's fvcking more.
 

corrector

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Sorry for your loss. Do you still have a pair of nuts? I'll give you time to check.
Technically I initiated the break up with her because I didn't feel comfortable with her past and consulted with her ex-husband behind her back and told her and her mother about it by email and sided with him. Just a mess. But, again, the way she treated him made me feel that I could eventually be next in line if I said something out of place or if something happened down the line when I was more invested. Her ex-husband was a pastor and was praying for her to repent and come back to him, along with his church.

So for what it's worth, at least I feel I was doing God's will, and I mean really, His will, by breaking up with her or I'd be worst off today in some way. However, even if the logical aspect of this has that direction, and is a correct or necessary decision, the memory and emotions and "nearcel" aspect is still overwhelming. It's like if you have an object travelling very fast and you abruptly stop it, then things inside the object will crash around inside. I feel it was that way emotionally with a "doing the right thing" type of break-up with her. She didn't seem to have any problem moving on quickly and burying the whole thing fast. But again, that is what happens when you get an incel break in such circumstances.

Incels are normally accused by normies of being very "moral" people who maintain chastity because they want to do the right thing. I'm not just talking about not commiting adultery with another man's wife, or dumpster-diving, or visiting hookers, but really doing the right thing like in the case I illustrated above. Looking at the principle of the thing. Maybe normies have a point about that.

However, my whole social life was built-up around her as she introduced me around and I knew people (including other hot girls) in common with her. That was all wiped out and I was back to ground zero and it's like the loss of everything at the time. I thinking being nearcel just makes break-ups like that difficult since you don't know how the relationship developed like that in the first place, or if something like that can ever happen again.

TyTe'Eyez said:
Life goes on. Men have been through much worse than you, so as a movie buff, you should know that. Maybe watch a war flick next time.
I don't watch Mamma Mia 1 & 2, or Lion King 2019, that frequently. I look at all types of movies, including war movies.

I think Abba music (the type of music in Mamma Mia 1 & 2) has a light upbeat vibe that often portrays a fun and happy relationship in an innocent way (i.e. no sex is involved, but just nice times going places sort of thing in a sort of happy go lucky way).
 
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AttackFormation

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The problem is, this is the norm now. This is the "average" girl you're meeting on OLD. Or at the bar. Or at church.
Yes. But what can we do? this was always the norm, biology didn't change in the last 100 years. It is just out in the open now. The first thing you can do is to develop the best filtering mechanism you can. The second thing you have will be in the paragraph below.

My answer, as of now, is you don't wife a woman. Unless you find a unicorn that LA reminds me about from time to time

If she's married, she fvcking. If she's single, she's fvcking more.
Well, there is no way to prove a person is faithful. You can't prove that. All you really have after you've filtered someone is the decision and feeling of trust, and coping mechanisms (namely acceptance) for the possibility of change in reality. Yes, there probably won't be a happy ending... but with the right mindset, no matter what happens there can be a happy duration. It's either choosing that alternative, or choosing the other alternative of not wifing anyone up. Neither is a right choice. It's whatever you feel you most can deal with.

You will by definition only see the ones who are not faithful. You cannot observe people "being faithful", and you cannot prove that someone is faithful, but you can observe and prove that someone is and is being unfaithful. This inevitably leads to confirmation bias.

In the end I have no solution, no one does. All there is is the coping mechanism you can make the most peace with, because reality is liable to be imperfect.
 
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TyTe`EyEz

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Yes. But what can we do? this was always the norm, biology didn't change in the last 100 years. It is just out in the open now. The first thing you can do is to develop the best filtering mechanism you can. The second thing you have will be in the paragraph below.



Well, there is no way to prove a person is faithful. You can't prove that. All you really have after you've filtered someone is the decision and feeling of trust, and coping mechanisms (namely acceptance) for the possibility of change in reality. Yes, there probably won't be a happy ending... but with the right mindset, no matter what happens there can be a happy duration. It's either choosing that alternative, or choosing the other alternative of not wifing anyone up. Neither is a right choice. It's whatever you feel you most can deal with.

You will by definition only see the ones who are not faithful. You cannot observe people "being faithful", and you cannot prove that someone is faithful, but you can observe and prove that someone is and is being unfaithful. This inevitably leads to confirmation bias.

In the end I have no solution, no one does. All there is is the coping mechanism you can make the most peace with, because reality is liable to be imperfect.
Way to take what I said and make it way more wordy.
 

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TyTe`EyEz

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AttackFormation

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Stop that girl sh1t.
Hahaha, it's because you miss a woman talking to you like that and I do it better too. Admit it. You just don't wanna feel like a fag like me.

@AttackFormation I'll treat you like woman if you want me to
You won't even fvck me! you can't treat me right.

Maybe I'm sick? and I need to act out the real dynamic of drama and seduction with someone if I don't have a woman to do it with who understands me. But you don't care about a b!tch. You just take what you want from me like a cheap wh0re.
 
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TyTe`EyEz

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Hahaha, it's because you miss a woman talking to you like that and I do it better too. Admit it. You just don't wanna feel like a fag like me.



You won't even fvck me! you can't treat me right.

Maybe I'm sick? and I need to act out the real dynamic of drama and seduction with someone if I don't have a woman to do it with who understands me. But you don't care about a b!tch. You just take what you want from me like a cheap wh0re.
No, my penis is too big. I'd probably kill you!
 

RickTheToad

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He is 53 years old and you are giving him this advice?




That's a solid catch-22.



You don't sound like a nearcel so not likely.



...which means you are not nearcel like the other OP.



You don't sound at all like the other OP. You can build up a tolerance because you have enough attraction out there to begin with. If it's too "once in a blue moon" then you are going to bond because you think you are getting a break from inceldom and the out of league lady is doing you a favour.
Never to old to learn new tricks and improve one's self.
 

RickTheToad

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I clicked on this thread and it took me right to your post.

It is a beta mindset, but I find it's a difficult one to overcome.

If I spend enough time around a woman, I start to develop feelings for her. That is, I care about her well-being.

I think this is part of being a man. It's engrained in our core.

I broke up with my ex, and I'm pretty sure she hates me now, but if she called me tomorrow needing help with something, I'd do it. Not because I want anything in return, but because I'll always care about her. Because of the closeness we shared.
Being in a beta mindset and helping a person who's down is not the same thing. A dude can be a strong man, but have a gentle empathic heart for people who are in dire straits. One can also be an ass-hole, but still help a person in need; if they want to. However, that depends on how she treated you during your relationship with her. If she was in the wrong, but apologized, perhaps. Depends on the situation.
 

sexymanman

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**** man I don't know how you feel. I just wanna *** on different girls faces and jerk of to porn.
 
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