3 years. Still not over her

John9999

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I’m 53 for the record.

it’s been three years since my ex fiancé and I split up. Absolutely zero contact, no meetings or anything for three years. For god sake‘s it ended very very badly, the worst ending to a horrible toxic relationship that I’ve ever experienced. But I just can’t get this one off my mind.

focusing on myself, have ramped up my exercise routine and getting great results. I’m going on a date tomorrow night and trying to have a good attitude about it, just can’t seem to move on and be excited about other women. even banged with two different women last month and although it was good, it just wasn’t like being in love.

arghh. It’s been harder to get over her than my ex-wife who I spent 24 years with, 17 of which we were married. no break up with any girlfriend has ever torn me up like this one, I’ve gotten over those fast, but wasn’t in love with any of them.

Anyone else got that one woman you just can’t get over.
 
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soulforge

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Yeah by going younger and hotter
This isn't an option for many guys.. Sometimes dudes will end up with a chick who is above his league and he will get heartbroken.

Getting another younger and hotter chick may not even be a possibility.

We tend to assume, its so simple to just pick up a younger, hotter model..

For many guys, this simply isn't a realistic outcome.
 
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I’m 53 for the record.

it’s been three years since my ex fiancé and I split up. Absolutely zero contact, no meetings or anything for three years. For god sake‘s it ended very very badly, the worst ending to a horrible toxic relationship that I’ve ever experienced. But I just can’t get this one off my mind.

focusing on myself, have ramped up my exercise routine and getting great results. I’m going on a date tomorrow night and trying to have a good attitude about it, just can’t seem to move on and be excited about other women. even banged with two different women last month and although it was good, it just wasn’t like being in love.

arghh. It’s been harder to get over her than my ex-wife who I spent 24 years with, 17 of which we were married. no break up with any girlfriend has ever torn me up like this one, I’ve gotten over those fast, but wasn’t in love with any of them.

Anyone else got that one woman you just can’t get over.
I'm in the same position. Last year's breakup with my former mistress was way more devastating than my divorce. I was lucky to find a GF in the interim who was exactly the antidote I needed to move beyond it, and both see and live a much more healthy style of relationship. Even then it was a slow process.

And yet...

I allowed NC to be broken in the past few weeks because I felt that I was able to handle it. Which on one level is true. I was able to be very objective in the information I gleaned during the convo. Overwhelmingly that information points to the conclusion that I'm far better off for not being involved in that train wreck.

And yet...

She broke NC again this week, and strongly hinted that we should hang out. As in Netflix and Chill hang out. And I find there's a pull that still hard to resist, despite the litany of reasons why this would be a Bad Idea. I made no promises, but goddamn if transitioning to FWB doesn't have allure.

You'd think that after all I went through, I'd be more rational than this.
 

LARaiders85

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This isn't an option for many guys.. Sometimes dudes will end up with a chick who is above his league and he will get heartbroken.

Getting another younger and hotter chick may not even be a possibility.

We tend to assume, its so simple to just pick up a younger, hotter model..

For many guys, this simply isn't a realistic outcome.
For me it legit always has been true, but I guess that is advice for younger guys. How about younger and/or hotter lol.
 
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soulforge

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For me it legit always has been true, but I guess that is advice for younger guys. How about younger and/or hotter lol.
I suppose any chick that really makes your dik hard, or sexualy satisfies you more than the ex, is a win situation.

She doesn't neccasary have to be hotter looks wise or even younger.

All that being said.. Anytime I have dumped a chick or got dumped.. The next one has been hotter and in most cases younger!
 

RickTheToad

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I’m 53 for the record.

it’s been three years since my ex fiancé and I split up. Absolutely zero contact, no meetings or anything for three years. For god sake‘s it ended very very badly, the worst ending to a horrible toxic relationship that I’ve ever experienced. But I just can’t get this one off my mind.

focusing on myself, have ramped up my exercise routine and getting great results. I’m going on a date tomorrow night and trying to have a good attitude about it, just can’t seem to move on and be excited about other women. even banged with two different women last month and although it was good, it just wasn’t like being in love.

arghh. It’s been harder to get over her than my ex-wife who I spent 24 years with, 17 of which we were married. no break up with any girlfriend has ever torn me up like this one, I’ve gotten over those fast, but wasn’t in love with any of them.

Anyone else got that one woman you just can’t get over.
We all seem to remember the good times with our past lovers, not always the bad times. She was apart of your life for a period of time, so that can never be erased. The best you can do is move on and date others. I will be honest, past lovers and flings pop into my mind all the time. However, I never bring the trash back into the house once I brought it to the curb to be picked up.

You need to work on yourself and in time, it will get easier. Also, you need more experience with the ladies so you do not care as much moving forward. I am at that place as well. I do not like to hurt them, but I really no longer bond to them like I've done in the past. I equate that to my mind building up a tolerance for ladies and their bullsh!t. Back to basics dude, back to basics and grow from there.
 

mrgoodstuff

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This isn't an option for many guys.. Sometimes dudes will end up with a chick who is above his league and he will get heartbroken.

Getting another younger and hotter chick may not even be a possibility.

We tend to assume, its so simple to just pick up a younger, hotter model..

For many guys, this simply isn't a realistic outcome.
If he did it once he can do it again.
 

Epic Days

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Sometimes dudes will end up with a chick who is above his league and he will get heartbroken.
This is false data and an incredibly dangerous paradigm. Absolute garbage.

true, the guy may think that but he is way too feminine for this world. In his own mind he is garbage. Of course she’s going to go with his reality.
 

soulforge

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This is false data and an incredibly dangerous paradigm. Absolute garbage.

true, the guy may think that but he is way too feminine for this world. In his own mind he is garbage. Of course she’s going to go with his reality.
You make a fair point.. She may be a HB10.. But in the mans mind, she should always be the one with less value.. To him at best she is a HB7
 
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Augustus_McCrae

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I’m 53 for the record.

it’s been three years since my ex fiancé and I split up. Absolutely zero contact, no meetings or anything for three years. For god sake‘s it ended very very badly, the worst ending to a horrible toxic relationship that I’ve ever experienced. But I just can’t get this one off my mind.

focusing on myself, have ramped up my exercise routine and getting great results. I’m going on a date tomorrow night and trying to have a good attitude about it, just can’t seem to move on and be excited about other women. even banged with two different women last month and although it was good, it just wasn’t like being in love.

arghh. It’s been harder to get over her than my ex-wife who I spent 24 years with, 17 of which we were married. no break up with any girlfriend has ever torn me up like this one, I’ve gotten over those fast, but wasn’t in love with any of them.

Anyone else got that one woman you just can’t get over.
Let me guess: she was super hot and the sex was out of this world.

And it was the highest high you have ever felt with a woman.

-Augustus-
 

ShePays

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You need to recognize that it isn't her. It's you. You need to become master of your own mind. Study self- hypnosis. Not even half joking. Completely serious. You have to do whatever YOU have to do to become undisputed master of your own mind, author of your own thoughts. If a chick is gone from your life, she should be gone from your head. You shouldn't even be able to readily recall her name. If you bumped into her on the street, you shouldn't even instantly recognize her. If a friend brings her up in conversation, your first response should be "who?" Practice this skill until it becomes automatic.
 

Augustus_McCrae

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Uh. Yup. How did you know. Drop dead beautiful, awesome body. Out of this universe sex.
I know because I have been there. I was 52, she was 38, but looked 10 years younger. Face like Ava Gardner but with a better body.

The thing you have to try to remember is that it was a time and place that can’t be repeated or duplicated. You will never forget it and you’ll have awesome memories for the rest of your life, But they are just that...memories. Smile and be glad that you got to experience that, some men live their entire lives and never get to feel that way.

Try not to short change your future trying to look for the same thing. You won’t find it. However you will find different experiences and different women moving forward.

Try to enjoy each day and the variety of new women who will come into your life in the future.

-Augustus-
 
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I know because I have been there. I was 52, she was 38, but looked 10 years younger. Face like Ava Gardner but with a better body.

The thing you have to try to remember is that it was a time and place that can’t be repeated or duplicated. You will never forget it and you’ll have awesome memories for the rest of your life, But they are just that...memories. Smile and be glad that you got to experience that, some men live their entire lives and never get to feel that way.

Try not to short change your future trying to look for the same thing. You won’t find it. However you will find different experiences and different women moving forward.

Try to enjoy each day and the variety of new women who will come into your life in the future.
Truth. As my ex tries to insinuate her crazy-ass self back into my life, this is something I try to hold onto. Part of my healing in the past year was coming to terms was that it was once-in-a-lifetime bomb sex, and that I was lucky to have had the experience. There were times when she made me feel like king of the friggin universe. It was incredibly addicting, which made the cold turkey all the worse.

And while my current GF is overall a much more healthy and satisfying relationship, she will never rise up to the same level sexually.

But that's ok. It beats dealing with the crazy.
 
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John9999

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Truth. As my ex tries to insinuate her crazy-ass self back into my life, this is something I try to hold onto. Part of my healing in the past year was coming to terms was that it was once-in-a-lifetime bomb sex, and that I was lucky to have had the experience. There were times when she made me feel like king of the friggin universe. It was incredibly addicting, which made the cold turkey all the worse.

And while my current GF is overall a much more healthy and satisfying relationship, she will never rise up to the same level sexually.

But that's ok. It beats dealing with the crazy.
Yup. Mine was crazy with a capital C. I mean nuts.
 
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Yup. Mine was crazy with a capital C. I mean nuts.
What is it about crazy that makes it the best sex in the world? On the NC break a few weeks ago she divulged that she'd been hospitalized for a month due to an overdose (to be fair, that was triggered by an episode of domestic violence against her by the guy she left me for). This was as in psych hospitalized. But she had been out for awhile and her co-workers were supportive.

Last weekend on the most recent NC break she divulged that she had been back in and just gotten out. And that she was moving back in with her mom because she lost her job. This is the mom that is likely the biggest reason she's so deep in the crazy zone, both genetically and the environment in which she was raised.

So yeah, I know crazy. This is why my big head is screaming "Bad Idea!".

But damn... the sex.

I find myself in the curious position of having lived through the mind-f*ck of wanting nothing more than to have that steady stream of crazy-bomb-sex back, to spending a year getting over it, only to now have the temptation being dangled in my face. And after all that, finding myself with crumbling willpower to do the right thing.
 

John9999

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What is it about crazy that makes it the best sex in the world? On the NC break a few weeks ago she divulged that she'd been hospitalized for a month due to an overdose (to be fair, that was triggered by an episode of domestic violence against her by the guy she left me for). This was as in psych hospitalized. But she had been out for awhile and her co-workers were supportive.

Last weekend on the most recent NC break she divulged that she had been back in and just gotten out. And that she was moving back in with her mom because she lost her job. This is the mom that is likely the biggest reason she's so deep in the crazy zone, both genetically and the environment in which she was raised.

So yeah, I know crazy. This is why my big head is screaming "Bad Idea!".

But damn... the sex.

I find myself in the curious position of having lived through the mind-f*ck of wanting nothing more than to have that steady stream of crazy-bomb-sex back, to spending a year getting over it, only to now have the temptation being dangled in my face. And after all that, finding myself with crumbling willpower to do the right thing.
Yo buddy. You keep breaking NC. I know it’s hard.
You gotta go no contact for good. The crazy ain’t worth it.
 

DonJoel

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Find yourself a good hooker. There's lots of good sex out there. We put women on a pedestal trying to get it for "free"
but it's never free. If you're getting sex you'll free your mind up and break out of the trap. I wish I would have done that
with my last oneitis instead of struggling for two years hang up on her.
 

Spaz

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I’m 53 for the record.

it’s been three years since my ex fiancé and I split up. Absolutely zero contact, no meetings or anything for three years. For god sake‘s it ended very very badly, the worst ending to a horrible toxic relationship that I’ve ever experienced. But I just can’t get this one off my mind.

focusing on myself, have ramped up my exercise routine and getting great results. I’m going on a date tomorrow night and trying to have a good attitude about it, just can’t seem to move on and be excited about other women. even banged with two different women last month and although it was good, it just wasn’t like being in love.

arghh. It’s been harder to get over her than my ex-wife who I spent 24 years with, 17 of which we were married. no break up with any girlfriend has ever torn me up like this one, I’ve gotten over those fast, but wasn’t in love with any of them.

Anyone else got that one woman you just can’t get over.
U r too pampered plus you have an entitled mindset that's why it's hard for you to move on to the next.
 
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