High specs but zero matches - Dating Apps

[Arete]

I don't understand how you get matches.

I tried tinder, bumble, hinge, you name it. I used real pictures and all the bio is true. Admittedly, I had every part a little puffed up, but ... still nothing?

• 28yo, looks like 16-18 on first picture (very good lighting, nike shirt for extra effect. Normaly I look like 20-24)
• 1,88m / 6'2 (with shoes)
• calisthenics athlete, 90kg / 200lbs (while bulking)
• self-employment involving real estate (small scale)
• second picture with me outside, using the technique from mens natural physique again (looks much wider from certain angles, especially with clothes on)
• bio in a nutshell, is something like: "I'm very serious about sports and nutrition. I like philosophy. I used to be a nerd that liked Anime and Manga, but now I'm a manly, yet intellectual adrenalin junkie" ( In reality, I'm still a nerd at heart and I still get easily scared by stuff like heights, even if I'm acting fearless)

Is it the mirror selfie as first picture? Is it because I don't smile in pictures? Because I used only two pictures? Maybe they are too bland and straightforward? Do I have to be verified? Is it because I don't pay money for these apps?

Maybe I overdid it with the age thing or something else? The first picture with "Name, 28, self-employed - real estate" on it looks kind of comical. But is there such a thing as overdoing it in dating apps? I figured I'm competing with people that use AI and Photoshop?

Even if my pictures are trash, I would rate my looks as 6-8 depending on the groom. My biggest flaw currently is being extremely socially awkward with people I meet for the first time. I figured dating apps would negate that. Combined with all the other stuff, I thought this would give the impression of a 8-9?

I don't get it ...

 

[Plinco]

I don't understand how you get matches.

I tried tinder, bumble, hinge, you name it. I used real pictures and all the bio is true. Admittedly, I had every part a little puffed up, but ... still nothing?

• 28yo, looks like 16-18 on first picture (very good lighting, nike shirt for extra effect. Normaly I look like 20-24)
• 1,88m / 6'2 (with shoes)
• calisthenics athlete, 90kg / 200lbs (while bulking)
• self-employment involving real estate (small scale)
• second picture with me outside, using the technique from mens natural physique again (looks much wider from certain angles, especially with clothes on)
• bio in a nutshell, is something like: "I'm very serious about sports and nutrition. I like philosophy. I used to be a nerd that liked Anime and Manga, but now I'm a manly, yet intellectual adrenalin junkie" ( In reality, I'm still a nerd at heart and I still get easily scared by stuff like heights, even if I'm acting fearless)

Is it the mirror selfie as first picture? Is it because I don't smile in pictures? Because I used only two pictures? Maybe they are too bland and straightforward? Do I have to be verified? Is it because I don't pay money for these apps?

Maybe I overdid it with the age thing or something else? The first picture with "Name, 28, self-employed - real estate" on it looks kind of comical. But is there such a thing as overdoing it in dating apps? I figured I'm competing with people that use AI and Photoshop?

Even if my pictures are trash, I would rate my looks as 6-8 depending on the groom. My biggest flaw is being extremely socially awkward with people I meet for the first time. I figured dating apps would negate that. Combined with all the other stuff, I thought this would give the impression of a 8-9?

I don't get it ...

Don't use a mirror selfie as your first pic.

Dating apps are not at all to be taken seriously. I don't think I have a bio description in mine; let them find that stuff out about you when they meet you.

There's also a bs logarithm too, which I can't fully explain but I think I got around that by swiping left on most of the girls anyway.

 

[Arete]

Don't use a mirror selfie as your first pic.

What should I do about this?

Try to fix it myself? None/light/heavy AI use? Go to a professional photographer? Or some guy specializing in dating apps?

Dating apps are not at all to be taken seriously. I don't think I have a bio description in mine; let them find that stuff out about you when they meet you.

Minimizing what I write? Removing it (almost) completely?

There's also a bs logarithm too, which I can't fully explain but I think I got around that by swiping left on most of the girls anyway.

I heard about this. But I don't really get it. Might be odd, but I actually read the bio, so my swiping is kind of slow. If it doesn't fit at all, like feminists and stuff, I swiped left, regardless of looks. I probably swiped right at only 10-20%. Is that good or bad practice?

I wondered, am I even swiping on real people?

 

[Plinco]

What should I do about this?

Try to fix it myself? None/light/heavy AI use? Go to a professional photographer? Or some guy specializing in dating apps?



Minimizing what I write? Removing it (almost) completely?



I heard about this. But I don't really get it. Might be odd, but I actually read the bio, so my swiping is kind of slow. If it doesn't fit at all, like feminists and stuff, I swiped left, regardless of looks. I probably swiped right at only 10-20%. Is that good or bad practice?

I wondered, am I even swiping on real people?

Use a different picture as your first, either doing something fun or in a business suit

I would just eliminate your bio, not that it matters too much anyway.

I don't know exactly how those logarithms work. Personally I just use my own filter. I can't tell you how to filter because they are based on your preferences.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You aren't generating enough volume. Dating apps are all about volume. Yours is too low.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I don't understand how you get matches.

I tried tinder, bumble, hinge, you name it. I used real pictures and all the bio is true. Admittedly, I had every part a little puffed up, but ... still nothing?

• 28yo, looks like 16-18 on first picture (very good lighting, nike shirt for extra effect. Normaly I look like 20-24)
• 1,88m / 6'2 (with shoes)
• calisthenics athlete, 90kg / 200lbs (while bulking)
• self-employment involving real estate (small scale)
• second picture with me outside, using the technique from mens natural physique again (looks much wider from certain angles, especially with clothes on)
• bio in a nutshell, is something like: "I'm very serious about sports and nutrition. I like philosophy. I used to be a nerd that liked Anime and Manga, but now I'm a manly, yet intellectual adrenalin junkie" ( In reality, I'm still a nerd at heart and I still get easily scared by stuff like heights, even if I'm acting fearless)

Is it the mirror selfie as first picture? Is it because I don't smile in pictures? Because I used only two pictures? Maybe they are too bland and straightforward? Do I have to be verified? Is it because I don't pay money for these apps?

Maybe I overdid it with the age thing or something else? The first picture with "Name, 28, self-employed - real estate" on it looks kind of comical. But is there such a thing as overdoing it in dating apps? I figured I'm competing with people that use AI and Photoshop?

Even if my pictures are trash, I would rate my looks as 6-8 depending on the groom. My biggest flaw currently is being extremely socially awkward with people I meet for the first time. I figured dating apps would negate that. Combined with all the other stuff, I thought this would give the impression of a 8-9?

I don't get it ...

Send me your pics on pm.
You’re probably over rating your looks or something if that sort. I’ll give you honest feedback.
I’m doing very well on Hinge.
I’m approx 7-7.5 smv guy.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Arete "bio in a nutshell, is something like: "I'm very serious about sports and nutrition. I like philosophy. I used to be a nerd that liked Anime and Manga, but now I'm a manly, yet intellectual adrenalin junkie" ( In reality, I'm still a nerd at heart and I still get easily scared by stuff like heights, even if I'm acting fearless)...

I don't get it ..."

-Using corporate speak like "in a nutshell" may be diminishing your appeal. Encourage you to not "circle back" or "synergize" either

-Claiming "I USED to be an anime and Manga nerd", then following that up by informing readers that you're still "intellectual" and "a nerd heart" who "fears heights" has not just the ladies, but EVERYONE who reads those words envisioning a bloke like THIS

1:58-3:23

More so than a modern day equivalent to The Count Of Monte Cristo

 

[BadBoy89]

I tried tinder, bumble, hinge, you name it. I used real pictures and all the bio is true. Admittedly, I had every part a little puffed up, but ... still nothing?

• self-employment involving real estate (small scale)

That is what is hurting you.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Is it the mirror selfie as first picture? Is it because I don't smile in pictures? Because I used only two pictures? Maybe they are too bland and straightforward? Do I have to be verified? Is it because I don't pay money for these apps?

Yes to everything except maybe verfied. Uptight women like that lmao.

 

[Cheeky_James]

@Arete

do some googling of “dominant smiles” look at the picture comparisons and just model that in pics is a quick solid tip from me.

 

[Gamisch]

Sigh ..here's your anwer


Your playing a losing game ,hence why you're feeling..lost.. its like asking " why don't I get rich"..or why dont I win with sports betting?

The ratio male /female is like 75/25. So every women can (In theory) pick out of 3 dudes. Needless to say that the hotter women can pick out of more dudes...

Apps should be SUPPLEMENTARY to your overall dating life. When a man like you depends on it, you will end up frustrated and dumbfounded. The apps are all run by ONE company and that company is now cosies up with the Whitehouse to cement their monopoly and ban users( read it up).

If you ain't that dude ,you ain't that dude...delete the apps and touch grass.

There's NOTHING you can do short term. Nothing , nada, nietsch. Prof pics, AI prompts and manipulated picture, its all obsolete as every AFC does that now...

 

[Cheeky_James]

Or just show us some pics and let’s make sure it’s definitely fully OVER for you. And it never began.

more tips;
Rewrite the bio on the principle of
“show don’t tell”

Take your points in bio and think about how you can reword the syntax by removing “I am ..”
I am x..i am y.. I am manly..etc

Show don’t tell. They will decide if you are manly not you (if you understand that)

2nd principle is “Talent borrows , genius steals “

next stop re the bio is -read through chicks profiles and look for witty stuff , sarcastic stuff .. nice short punchy funny sh1t that makes you smirk and laugh. Yknow, smart sh1t.

then just screenshot it , and copy paste it word for word into your own bio

There’s a ton of fun value that can be packed into a few short well written sentences. Stuff I could never think up. Especially stuff with sexual innuendo in it that suggests a naughty side.

lastly - switch your preferences to men and have a look at dudes profiles (no homo … LOL)
Start rating them into shi1t one, ok one ,great one profile ratings yourself.. and analyse why the stand outs .. stand out to you.
And again- just copy the ideas. Styles. Camera angles. Situations, photo types etc etc - just dump the homo .

finally go over everything and make sure the net effect is masculine enough.. and also that it might be different enough. Has uniqueness or outlier type value . It’s a very good idea to be a unique , different guy that will pique their interest and stand out from the pack of same same guys all trying the same sh1t.

that’s all for the Masterclass . Everything you should need to revamp it. Ought to be 10x better afterwards CJ.

 

[UK manc]

There's NOTHING you can do short term. Nothing , nada, nietsch. Prof pics, AI prompts and manipulated picture, its all obsolete as every AFC does that now...

I see these AFCs in the gym. Two-thirds of blokes hunched over their pathetic screen between sets, doing god knows what. All with the same arm and calf tattoos, **** beard, crap beard....but yeah, just ten more swipes bro and I might just get a match!

 

[Cheeky_James]

I see these AFCs in the gym. Two-thirds of blokes hunched over their pathetic screen between sets, doing god knows what. All with the same arm and calf tattoos, **** beard, crap beard....but yeah, just ten more swipes bro and I might just get a match!

the first 1,000 swipes is just warm up bro haha

 

[UK manc]

the first 1,000 swipes is just warm up bro haha

They'd do better bring present.

 

[sevbucmash]

Bro, its the overall vibe. You're presenting yourself like a resume mixed with fitness forum brag sheet. It pushes you into niche that gets very few swipes, even if you're objectively good looking gentleman. Your photos are the biggest issue. Mirror selfies, no smile, only two pics, age looks 16. 28, self-employed, real estate.

Women see low effort, cold, guarded, suspicious, probably lying, try hard, looks like a scam profile.

Your presentation makes you swipe repellent.

Your bio is working against you. It reads like someone is trying to manufacture an identity instead of just being a person.

Add warmth, authenticity, effort, social proof, relatability, emotional safety.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Don't call yourself a nerd.

 

[Arete]

Didnt expect to get so many replys.

You aren't generating enough volume. Dating apps are all about volume. Yours is too low.

You mean like, I'm not swiping enough? I'm new to social media in general, let alone dating apps. I don't really understand.

-Using corporate speak like "in a nutshell" may be diminishing your appeal. Encourage you to not "circle back" or "synergize" either

I did not write this in the bio. The "in a nutshell" was just an exaggerated enumeration. Aparently nativ speakers dont use that? Noted.

-Claiming "I USED to be an anime and Manga nerd", then following that up by informing readers that you're still "intellectual" and "a nerd heart" who "fears heights" has not just the ladies, but EVERYONE who reads those words envisioning a bloke like THIS

I did NOT write this in the bio. It was a oversimplification. I have this much sense. It was the impression I was trying to go for. Obviously, it didn't work, otherwise I would have matches. I feel like Plinco's suggestion is correct. A high-value man wouldn't write so much about himself, the mistake lies in adding too much detail.

On the other hand, your replay speaks volumes of you. Instead of recommending solutions, you just bashed my post. I never understand why people do this. Neither online nor in real life.

It's the difference between criticism and yapping.

That is what is hurting you.

Figures ... Not sure how I should phrase it. Half my income is from renting out real estate. My regular job is kind of lame. Can't exactly call myself a "businessman"? Most importantly, I got almost no formal education. But I'm doing alright financially. It's hard to convey that I'm not a bum but also not loaded with cash.

Yes to everything except maybe verfied. Uptight women like that lmao.

Even paying for these apps? Not like I mind, I am even considering getting a nice suit like Plinco recommended. I heard paying for apps is counterproductive because algorithms don't want paying customers to leave? Does anyone have an opinion on that?

Sigh ..here's your anwer


Your playing a losing game ,hence why you're feeling..lost.. its like asking " why don't I get rich"..or why dont I win with sports betting?

The ratio male /female is like 75/25. So every women can (In theory) pick out of 3 dudes. Needless to say that the hotter women can pick out of more dudes...

Apps should be SUPPLEMENTARY to your overall dating life. When a man like you depends on it, you will end up frustrated and dumbfounded. The apps are all run by ONE company and that company is now cosies up with the Whitehouse to cement their monopoly and ban users( read it up).

If you ain't that dude ,you ain't that dude...delete the apps and touch grass.

There's NOTHING you can do short term. Nothing , nada, nietsch. Prof pics, AI prompts and manipulated picture, its all obsolete as every AFC does that now...

I understand this.

I'm currently still doing the DJ bootcamp. I recently had a small breakthrough after stagnating for a long time which I will post soon. I figured I should stop holding back and use everything at my disposal. Dating apps are supplementary in my mind, just like you say.

I have the same opinion as you, word for word. Im also already aware of the monopoly on dating apps. But usually, if one is determined enough, there is always something to be done? Seems like a waste to give up this angle.

Bro, its the overall vibe. You're presenting yourself like a resume mixed with fitness forum brag sheet. It pushes you into niche that gets very few swipes, even if you're objectively good looking gentleman. Your photos are the biggest issue. Mirror selfies, no smile, only two pics, age looks 16. 28, self-employed, real estate.

Women see low effort, cold, guarded, suspicious, probably lying, try hard, looks like a scam profile.

Your presentation makes you swipe repellent.

Your bio is working against you. It reads like someone is trying to manufacture an identity instead of just being a person.

Add warmth, authenticity, effort, social proof, relatability, emotional safety.

Understood. Even for me, my own profile looks kind of cold and suspicious after a second look.

I definitely need to "Add warmth, authenticity, effort, social proof, relatability, emotional safety," like you said.

I got most of it, but I'm currently conveying none of it. In short, it boils down to my pictures? Meaning the most straightforward solution would be to go to a professional photographer?

Don't call yourself a nerd.

Noted. I figured having a contrasting trait would be good for authenticity, but probably not. On a second look, it reads like a load of made-up bullsh!t. This stuff is better told in person ... if at all?

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Arete "It was the impression I was trying to go for. Obviously, it didn't work, otherwise I would have matches... Instead of recommending solutions, you just bashed my post"

Putting forth a more engaging impression in chief among your solutions to this particular dilemma then

 

[Identikit_Radiohead]