"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

High specs but zero matches - Dating Apps

Arete

Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
87
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Europe
I don't understand how you get matches.

I tried tinder, bumble, hinge, you name it. I used real pictures and all the bio is true. Admittedly, I had every part a little puffed up, but ... still nothing?

  • 28yo, looks like 16-18 on first picture (very good lighting, nike shirt for extra effect. Normaly I look like 20-24)
  • 1,88m / 6'2 (with shoes)
  • calisthenics athlete, 90kg / 200lbs (while bulking)
  • self-employment involving real estate (small scale)
  • second picture with me outside, using the technique from mens natural physique again (looks much wider from certain angles, especially with clothes on)
  • bio in a nutshell, is something like: "I'm very serious about sports and nutrition. I like philosophy. I used to be a nerd that liked Anime and Manga, but now I'm a manly, yet intellectual adrenalin junkie" ( In reality, I'm still a nerd at heart and I still get easily scared by stuff like heights, even if I'm acting fearless)

Is it the mirror selfie as first picture? Is it because I don't smile in pictures? Because I used only two pictures? Maybe they are too bland and straightforward? Do I have to be verified? Is it because I don't pay money for these apps?

Maybe I overdid it with the age thing or something else? The first picture with "Name, 28, self-employed - real estate" on it looks kind of comical. But is there such a thing as overdoing it in dating apps? I figured I'm competing with people that use AI and Photoshop?

Even if my pictures are trash, I would rate my looks as 6-8 depending on the groom. My biggest flaw currently is being extremely socially awkward with people I meet for the first time. I figured dating apps would negate that. Combined with all the other stuff, I thought this would give the impression of a 8-9?

I don't get it ...
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,075
Reaction score
1,931
Age
42
Location
Florida
I don't understand how you get matches.

I tried tinder, bumble, hinge, you name it. I used real pictures and all the bio is true. Admittedly, I had every part a little puffed up, but ... still nothing?

  • 28yo, looks like 16-18 on first picture (very good lighting, nike shirt for extra effect. Normaly I look like 20-24)
  • 1,88m / 6'2 (with shoes)
  • calisthenics athlete, 90kg / 200lbs (while bulking)
  • self-employment involving real estate (small scale)
  • second picture with me outside, using the technique from mens natural physique again (looks much wider from certain angles, especially with clothes on)
  • bio in a nutshell, is something like: "I'm very serious about sports and nutrition. I like philosophy. I used to be a nerd that liked Anime and Manga, but now I'm a manly, yet intellectual adrenalin junkie" ( In reality, I'm still a nerd at heart and I still get easily scared by stuff like heights, even if I'm acting fearless)

Is it the mirror selfie as first picture? Is it because I don't smile in pictures? Because I used only two pictures? Maybe they are too bland and straightforward? Do I have to be verified? Is it because I don't pay money for these apps?

Maybe I overdid it with the age thing or something else? The first picture with "Name, 28, self-employed - real estate" on it looks kind of comical. But is there such a thing as overdoing it in dating apps? I figured I'm competing with people that use AI and Photoshop?

Even if my pictures are trash, I would rate my looks as 6-8 depending on the groom. My biggest flaw is being extremely socially awkward with people I meet for the first time. I figured dating apps would negate that. Combined with all the other stuff, I thought this would give the impression of a 8-9?

I don't get it ...
Don't use a mirror selfie as your first pic.

Dating apps are not at all to be taken seriously. I don't think I have a bio description in mine; let them find that stuff out about you when they meet you.

There's also a bs logarithm too, which I can't fully explain but I think I got around that by swiping left on most of the girls anyway.
 

Arete

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2026
Messages
87
Reaction score
59
Location
Europe
Don't use a mirror selfie as your first pic.
What should I do about this?

Try to fix it myself? None/light/heavy AI use? Go to a professional photographer? Or some guy specializing in dating apps?

Dating apps are not at all to be taken seriously. I don't think I have a bio description in mine; let them find that stuff out about you when they meet you.
Minimizing what I write? Removing it (almost) completely?

There's also a bs logarithm too, which I can't fully explain but I think I got around that by swiping left on most of the girls anyway.
I heard about this. But I don't really get it. Might be odd, but I actually read the bio, so my swiping is kind of slow. If it doesn't fit at all, like feminists and stuff, I swiped left, regardless of looks. I probably swiped right at only 10-20%. Is that good or bad practice?

I wondered, am I even swiping on real people?
 
Last edited:

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,075
Reaction score
1,931
Age
42
Location
Florida
What should I do about this?

Try to fix it myself? None/light/heavy AI use? Go to a professional photographer? Or some guy specializing in dating apps?



Minimizing what I write? Removing it (almost) completely?



I heard about this. But I don't really get it. Might be odd, but I actually read the bio, so my swiping is kind of slow. If it doesn't fit at all, like feminists and stuff, I swiped left, regardless of looks. I probably swiped right at only 10-20%. Is that good or bad practice?

I wondered, am I even swiping on real people?
Use a different picture as your first, either doing something fun or in a business suit

I would just eliminate your bio, not that it matters too much anyway.

I don't know exactly how those logarithms work. Personally I just use my own filter. I can't tell you how to filter because they are based on your preferences.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
744
Reaction score
363
Age
42
I don't understand how you get matches.

I tried tinder, bumble, hinge, you name it. I used real pictures and all the bio is true. Admittedly, I had every part a little puffed up, but ... still nothing?

  • 28yo, looks like 16-18 on first picture (very good lighting, nike shirt for extra effect. Normaly I look like 20-24)
  • 1,88m / 6'2 (with shoes)
  • calisthenics athlete, 90kg / 200lbs (while bulking)
  • self-employment involving real estate (small scale)
  • second picture with me outside, using the technique from mens natural physique again (looks much wider from certain angles, especially with clothes on)
  • bio in a nutshell, is something like: "I'm very serious about sports and nutrition. I like philosophy. I used to be a nerd that liked Anime and Manga, but now I'm a manly, yet intellectual adrenalin junkie" ( In reality, I'm still a nerd at heart and I still get easily scared by stuff like heights, even if I'm acting fearless)

Is it the mirror selfie as first picture? Is it because I don't smile in pictures? Because I used only two pictures? Maybe they are too bland and straightforward? Do I have to be verified? Is it because I don't pay money for these apps?

Maybe I overdid it with the age thing or something else? The first picture with "Name, 28, self-employed - real estate" on it looks kind of comical. But is there such a thing as overdoing it in dating apps? I figured I'm competing with people that use AI and Photoshop?

Even if my pictures are trash, I would rate my looks as 6-8 depending on the groom. My biggest flaw currently is being extremely socially awkward with people I meet for the first time. I figured dating apps would negate that. Combined with all the other stuff, I thought this would give the impression of a 8-9?

I don't get it ...
Send me your pics on pm.
You’re probably over rating your looks or something if that sort. I’ll give you honest feedback.
I’m doing very well on Hinge.
I’m approx 7-7.5 smv guy.
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
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3,008
Age
37
@Arete "bio in a nutshell, is something like: "I'm very serious about sports and nutrition. I like philosophy. I used to be a nerd that liked Anime and Manga, but now I'm a manly, yet intellectual adrenalin junkie" ( In reality, I'm still a nerd at heart and I still get easily scared by stuff like heights, even if I'm acting fearless)...

I don't get it ..."

-Using corporate speak like "in a nutshell" may be diminishing your appeal. Encourage you to not "circle back" or "synergize" either

-Claiming "I USED to be an anime and Manga nerd", then following that up by informing readers that you're still "intellectual" and "a nerd heart" who "fears heights" has not just the ladies, but EVERYONE who reads those words envisioning a bloke like THIS
1:58-3:23

More so than a modern day equivalent to The Count Of Monte Cristo
 
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