"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Lacking Chemistry w/ Hottie

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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BackInTheGame78

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OP you need to screen this woman a little better

She is 36 & childless how long exactly has she been on the shelf ? which then leads to the next next question

WHY is she still on the shelf despite being as you claim physically attractive

This is an issue most women go through as they leave their glory years behind 18-25 , they have 7-8 years of men bending over backwards to get them into bed they don't really need to be " interesting" or conversational its all very surface level

they just need to look pretty

The problems arise when they reach their early 30's and are still single , men are no longer that dumbstruck by their appearance and its a very difficult & bitter pill for them to swallow

All of a sudden men are taking them out on dates and they have little to converse about because they've never really learned how to have a deep conversation

in all honesty most women's lives In this age range are very very boring
36 hot and childless is a massive red flag
 

BillyPilgrim

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I'm not judging. I'm in the same boat haha
Well as a hot chick she has more options, so maybe she has been too picky.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Bingo-Player

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Well as a hot chick she has more options, so maybe she has been too picky.
Or she is undateable / incompatible

Some people both MEN AND WOMEN lack the ability to do introspection maybe the ego is too big or the attitude is wrong

A relationship is no walk in the park it's not just steaming hot sex and cliche instagram and facebook pictures

Once the honeymoon stage is over it takes real compromise and development by both sides

You should not leave a relationship as the same person that came into it .......yet many do and then wonder why the next one fails miserably
 

Gamisch

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36 hot and childless is a massive red flag
I dont get yall. So 36 ugly and multiple kids is the better option?

I swear dudes in the "manosphere " are never satisfied.
The awkward silences may be an indicator of low interest on her part, because she's not making an effort to carry the conversation.

In any case, I'd focus more on body language and cooperation/lack thereof than anything she says.
There's more to this story. My guess is that op went in way too friendly. 15 years is such a long time, there should be plenty of shyte to talk about.

Like I said yesterday, silence isn't that big of an issue. A woman showing up twice?...idk what more do you want man , you just gotta split that poosy apart and that's it.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I dont get yall. So 36 ugly and multiple kids is the better option?

I swear dudes in the "manosphere " are never satisfied.
There's more to this story. My guess is that op went in way too friendly. 15 years is such a long time, there should be plenty of shyte to talk about.

Like I said yesterday, silence isn't that big of an issue. A woman showing up twice?...idk what more do you want man , you just gotta split that poosy apart and that's it.
Obviously not, but it's a clear signal she either is a super career focused woman, a femi-nazi, or she can't maintain relationships for very long. None of which are good in terms of potential other than for a FWB.

Newsflash...if you are trying to date women in the mid 30s or later and they don't have kids, they are a walking red flag with very few exceptions. You may say that's your "best option" but you are simply trading one "problem" for another.
 

Gamisch

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Obviously not, but it's a clear signal she either is a super career focused woman, a femi-nazi, or she can't maintain relationships for very long. None of which are good in terms of potential other than for a FWB.

Newsflash...if you are trying to date women in the mid 30s or later and they don't have kids, they are a walking red flag with very few exceptions. You may say that's your "best option" but you are simply trading one "problem" for another.
I get that,but it's a complete contradiction from the other common advice to avoid single mothers. So what , we just throw away women older than 35? Because she's either a career feminazi or a Alpha widowed baby machine.

Imo it's too black and white. Our new archetype named ROMAN will be even more limited if he would follow this advice. Yes, I know most guys here fancy women younger than 27, but is it realistic?

A 35 y.o woman without kids, who focused on her career is fine with me. But lately I view every relationship with a woman as a FWB type of thing. My expectations are say lower , and that gives me less headaches.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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ThisIsSparta

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I dont get yall. So 36 ugly and multiple kids is the better option?

I swear dudes in the "manosphere " are never satisfied.
To many keyboard-commandos here that havent "been there, done that".

To many sosuave-incels waiting for their 23 y.o. virgin that ****s on 2nd date and sucks dyck like a pro.

To many Don-Juans that spread wisdom about women but havent been in a "LTR" and living under one roof for a couple of years with ONE of them.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I get that,but it's a complete contradiction from the other common advice to avoid single mothers. So what , we just throw away women older than 35? Because she's either a career feminazi or a Alpha widowed baby machine.

Imo it's too black and white. Our new archetype named ROMAN will be even more limited if he would follow this advice. Yes, I know most guys here fancy women younger than 27, but is it realistic?

A 35 y.o woman without kids, who focused on her career is fine with me. But lately I view every relationship with a woman as a FWB type of thing. My expectations are say lower , and that gives me less headaches.
When "everyone" says something, in pretty much any area of life, you should probably think about doing the opposite.

That advice is given by guys who likely have no children. As a guy with kids, I prefer women with kids. It makes them more relatable to me...a woman in their mid 30s with no kids is not relatable AND I would worry about how she would act around my kids.

I tend to eschew what everyone else thinks and think for myself, it's worked out well in pretty much every instance.
 

jaymbrs

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I get that,but it's a complete contradiction from the other common advice to avoid single mothers. So what , we just throw away women older than 35? Because she's either a career feminazi or a Alpha widowed baby machine.

Imo it's too black and white. Our new archetype named ROMAN will be even more limited if he would follow this advice. Yes, I know most guys here fancy women younger than 27, but is it realistic?

A 35 y.o woman without kids, who focused on her career is fine with me. But lately I view every relationship with a woman as a FWB type of thing. My expectations are say lower , and that gives me less headaches.
My thoughts exactly. Was thinking maybe I shouldn't have even posted about this.

Obviously not, but it's a clear signal she either is a super career focused woman, a femi-nazi, or she can't maintain relationships for very long. None of which are good in terms of potential other than for a FWB.

Newsflash...if you are trying to date women in the mid 30s or later and they don't have kids, they are a walking red flag with very few exceptions. You may say that's your "best option" but you are simply trading one "problem" for another.
I got more information from a friend whose GF used to be in this woman's social circle. And I swear you can't make this **** up. Well maybe you can.
This woman was dating some drug dealer for like 10 or so years but now he's locked up. She won some settlement because she supposedly got shot in a drive by. Ever since then, she's been going hard partying, traveling, hanging out with sugar baby types. I'll upload some pics shortly.
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Barrister

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OP,

I guess I am a little unclear on why you feel like you need to axe her just because the chemistry isn't 100%. I will say that a dinner-date for your 2nd "date" (first official date if we are being honest) was pretty ballsy considering you hadn't really talked very much. Dinner dates at a sit down restaurant typically lend themselves to awkward moments unless it is grabbing some small apps at the bar with your drinks type thing.

Half the battle in modern dating is just finding good looking women that are single (since most hot women aren't single very long). If she is still hot, I don't know why you wouldn't give it a little more of a chance and see where it goes. You probably bang her on the third date and you probably have a good time. Doesn't make sense to call things off IMO.
 

pipeman84

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I got more information from a friend whose GF used to be in this woman's social circle. And I swear you can't make this **** up. Well maybe you can.
This woman was dating some drug dealer for like 10 or so years but now he's locked up. She won some settlement because she supposedly got shot in a drive by. Ever since then, she's been going hard partying, traveling, hanging out with sugar baby types. I'll upload some pics shortly.
As I was saying in the spinning plates thread, how is it beneficial to OP to spend time with this kind of person? :rolleyes:Particularly in this case, there's the additional risk of being physically harmed by her ex or one of his men.
 

2Rocky

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I got more information from a friend whose GF used to be in this woman's social circle. And I swear you can't make this **** up. Well maybe you can.
This woman was dating some drug dealer for like 10 or so years but now he's locked up. She won some settlement because she supposedly got shot in a drive by. Ever since then, she's been going hard partying, traveling, hanging out with sugar baby types. I'll upload some pics shortly.
OK so sounds like on your dinner date she was bored...if you want my take on it...
 

jaymbrs

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OK so sounds like on your dinner date she was bored...if you want my take on it...
We both were, if I'm being honest. Truth be told, she seems to lack personality. And if you see the pics I posted above, you'll probably gather that she never needed to develop one.
 

Gamisch

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To many keyboard-commandos here that havent "been there, done that".

To many sosuave-incels waiting for their 23 y.o. virgin that ****s on 2nd date and sucks dyck like a pro.

To many Don-Juans that spread wisdom about women but havent been in a "LTR" and living under one roof for a couple of years with ONE of them.
I love to "speak through images". . So what, most men on the forum would reject this woman? ( random 30+woman from Bumble). 20230209_200946.jpg Gtfo. Most of you all would move mountains to be with such a woman.

I respect it when a man's policy is to dont date older than 25. It means he is pulling ppenty of poosy and can afford to reject women like this.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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