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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Side b*tch game.. for the experienced, accomplished men ..

TheProspect

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I think this is the biggest learning gap in the manosphere and on Sosuave.

Over the years I've read a lot of posts from wise posters (and some dumb ones) saying that falling in love, developing crushes, feelings, and the like is the province of women, but not capital-M Men. Better to be detached for when the other shoe drops, or to keep her in "dread."

But those things (love, crushes) don't have to mean obsession. It's framed that way around here because for so many former chumps, that's what it once meant. I see so many guys on SS self-flagellating because they got a crush on some chick or developed feelings. When what they could really be doing is enjoying these things for what they are and welcoming the challenge they bring to the self - how to handle it without compromising your interests.

Strategies don't work, IMO. Once you start strategizing, your relationship (plate or LTR) becomes a project, and you start investing in non-investment.

The only thing that has worked for me is:

Find your mission and follow it.

I can't stress this enough. Ninety-nine percent of everything else falls into place. I'm not saying you shouldn't think before you act, or seek advice. I'm just saying that all of the boogeymen that haunt Sosuave can be neutralized if you

Find your mission and follow it.

AMOGs, Chads, Dual Mating Strategies, being "cucked," wondering "how to play this," wondering if you should next, wondering if you should call her out, should you be nicer, should you commit...none of this shyt matters when you

Find your mission and follow it.

Heck, you can even take on a side bytch and have it all blow up in your face, but you'll be fine. (Circling back to the thread topic...I almost forgot.)
I agree with your points. My post was from a risk-adverse "protect yourself" perspective, which at the extreme end would just be to not even attempt an LTR.

Personally speaking, I see myself entertaining a relationship again if the conditions are right. Although given my direction in life at the moment, it wouldn't be for a couple years at least. But any relationship I do get in would have to develop naturally and not through strategizing. I don't want to have to constantly think about how to maintain it.

"Find your mission and follow it." In the last few months I've chosen to go on a different path in life that I'm excited about, that's totally independent of women and dating. Oddly enough, I feel by focusing on that mission, any LTR I do get into, I wouldn't have the time, energy, or willingness to make it a project, as you put it, as the mission is the focus. Rather, a relationship would be secondary to my mission, and I would be good with or without one.
 

samspade

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I agree with your points. My post was from a risk-adverse "protect yourself" perspective, which at the extreme end would just be to not even attempt an LTR.

Personally speaking, I see myself entertaining a relationship again if the conditions are right. Although given my direction in life at the moment, it wouldn't be for a couple years at least. But any relationship I do get in would have to develop naturally and not through strategizing. I don't want to have to constantly think about how to maintain it.

"Find your mission and follow it." In the last few months I've chosen to go on a different path in life that I'm excited about, that's totally independent of women and dating. Oddly enough, I feel by focusing on that mission, any LTR I do get into, I wouldn't have the time, energy, or willingness make it a project, as you put it, as the mission is the focus. Rather, a relationship would be secondary to my mission, and I would be good with or without it.
That's kind of what's happened with me. I have a girlfriend (I guess I'll call her). But I sort of picked her up while pursuing other stuff and have never really put the focus on her, even though she's super cool. Of course I focus on her when I'm with her, but you get what I mean. As a result I'm just much more indifferent to whether she sticks around or not....and of course she sticks around.

I learned this the hard way, in part when I dated girls who didn't like competing with my goals. Faulty frame on my part but I learned.

Trivia - Robert Plant wrote "Ten Years Gone" by Led Zeppelin about a girl who, a decade earlier and well pre-Zep, told him he had to choose between his musical career and his relationship. By the time he wrote the song, Zep was the #1 band in the world; today they are legends.
 

Ricky

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That's kind of what's happened with me. I have a girlfriend (I guess I'll call her). But I sort of picked her up while pursuing other stuff and have never really put the focus on her, even though she's super cool. Of course I focus on her when I'm with her, but you get what I mean. As a result I'm just much more indifferent to whether she sticks around or not....and of course she sticks around.

I learned this the hard way, in part when I dated girls who didn't like competing with my goals. Faulty frame on my part but I learned.

Trivia - Robert Plant wrote "Ten Years Gone" by Led Zeppelin about a girl who, a decade earlier and well pre-Zep, told him he had to choose between his musical career and his relationship. By the time he wrote the song, Zep was the #1 band in the world; today they are legends.
That is such a great Zeppelin song. Need to play that on my guitar again.
 

mrgoodstuff

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This "perfect calibration" in an LTR is a pipedream. It can't be maintained forever. For the perfect calibration to take place then you must remain detached from her and not develop feelings for her. In this scenario (which I've been in many times) you're just stuck with an annoying b!tch who is desperate for you, but you feel nothing for her. Yes, you get a Love Slave who does anything for you, but you must also remain detached and this just means you have an annoying, love sick Girl who is following you around everywhere like a baby duckling following its mother.

This is initially satisfying because you have a slave, but it gets boring and you start to desire new women.

You end up resenting your love slave because you start to realise that this silly girl is only "hooked" on you because you're cold to her.

You could then make the mistake of thinking "think girl is so hooked, I can do anything now" - then you let your guard down and open up to her a bit, spend more time with her......watch the tables turn. The tables turn without you even realizing it because it's such a slow death of attraction. She doesn't even know why it's happening.
You can have electric sex with the same lady for over 5 years at a time. I've done it 3 times. So I wasn't up on game, but was more naturally selfish as a bro and addicted to my hobbies. So I wasn't up under them unless we were getting it in or it's time to sleep. They ALWAYS had desire.
 

mrgoodstuff

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...But as you can see, it eventually falls apart. Arguably it's even worse when it happens with a woman you've invested 5 years in - there's going to be some serious pain and troubles there.

There's no exact timeline on this stuff. Even a beta provider can get 10+ years out of a woman, with several kids, before getting cucked/divorce-raped
I fvcked up the first two situations. Those situations could've gone on indefinately, I was an idiot to fvck them up when you get to see what's out there in "the world". The third was on some bull chit, but i got about 5 good years out of it.

The third one got envious of my success outside of her and the confidence, attention and energy that I recieved, and she was hell bent on destroying all of it. She liked the sex enough to keep it going for a few years even though she was hating my guts. Then she figured out that cheating on me and locking me out gave her more bliss. I did that for a couple years then I realized I didn't want my kids to think that's okay, and got the hell outta there.
 
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EyeBRollin

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If there is no concrete evidence, deny. If caught red handed It’s best to admit you did, apologize ONCE and give her the option to leave or live with it.
it drives them crazy..it literally makes them more in love with you when you do it this way.
I used to watch that dumb show the Jersey Shore. Ronnie was a serial cheater. Cheated on his girlfriend in front of everyone multiple times. She finally confronted him on it, and his response was: "yes I fvcked other chicks. Do something about it." Then he would walk away. She was stunned. Then followed and stayed with him.
 

christie

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Another point: women can smell a taken man. He becomes more attractive. Men with significant others move about the world with no inhibitions about other women. Most of us always get the most looks when we have a girl at home.
this exact statement is what getting redpilled means to me

Not only learning that this is what happens, but also realising there are few men who resist this attention.

One can almost make a case for keeping men beaten down in a taken relationship in order to remove that seductive aura he gives off that facilitates him cheating.
Is there no other way to force loyalty into a man, other than betatization by one thousand concessions to remove his visible swagger to other women?

What about the idea If you can't beat them, join them(as a woman, do unto them as they do to you by taking a Side f*ckboy)?

There are some successful couples this seems to work.
 

mrgoodstuff

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this exact statement is what getting redpilled means to me

Not only learning that this is what happens, but also realising there are few men who resist this attention.

One can almost make a case for keeping men beaten down in a taken relationship in order to remove that seductive aura he gives off that facilitates him cheating.
Is there no other way to force loyalty into a man, other than betatization by one thousand concessions to remove his visible swagger to other women?

What about the idea If you can't beat them, join them(as a woman, do unto them as they do to you by taking a Side f*ckboy)?

There are some successful couples this seems to work.
That betaization is a "castration" of his masculine aura.
 

EyeBRollin

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this exact statement is what getting redpilled means to me

Not only learning that this is what happens, but also realising there are few men who resist this attention.

One can almost make a case for keeping men beaten down in a taken relationship in order to remove that seductive aura he gives off that facilitates him cheating.
Is there no other way to force loyalty into a man, other than betatization by one thousand concessions to remove his visible swagger to other women?

What about the idea If you can't beat them, join them(as a woman, do unto them as they do to you by taking a Side f*ckboy)?

There are some successful couples this seems to work.
It’s probably biological but women find men with girlfriends / fiancé’s / wives even more attractive. It’s quite deranged. They see a taken man and see him as higher value, especially if his lady is happy with him.
 

christie

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That betaization is a "castration" of his masculine aura.
Yes.
There's only one serious drawback.

He can't turn on his masculine aura like a lightswitch back at home, when its been castrated to fend off other women indirectly outside the home. Castration by one thousand concessions means no more masculinity ANYWHERE anymore...outside AND inside the home.

I think f*mists kinda overlook that important detail. oops.
 

christie

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It’s probably biological but women find men with girlfriends / fiancé’s / wives even more attractive. It’s quite deranged. They see a taken man and see him as higher value, especially if his lady is happy with him.
You are right. I agree with you.

Why can't I get the tingles for a taken man? Am I broken or too masculine? Even before being redpilled EyeB. I jump ship if I realise he's a taken man.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yes.
There's only one serious drawback.

He can't turn on his masculine aura like a lightswitch back at home, when its been castrated to fend off other women indirectly outside the home.

I think f*mists kinda overlook that important detail. oops.
No you can't. What has to happen in that situation is you let an appreciative woman bless your spirit and REVIVE you through admiration and sex.
 

christie

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No you can't. What has to happen in that situation is you let an appreciative woman bless your spirit and REVIVE you through sex.
I may be interpreted as blackpill-ish, but why would a woman do this reviving only to have his aura return so he will start hurting her again by taking a Side b*tch?
I can't wrap my head around what a solution could be except for her maybe taking her own Side F*ckboy.

Its why I agreed a few months ago in a post that society is at or rapidly headed towards the polyamoury state of relationships.

"You get a Side B*tch, you get a Side F*ckboy...everyone gets a Side piece!"

*say that out loud in the Oprah voice when she gives audience gifts in days before Christmas episodes.....lol!
 

mrgoodstuff

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I may be interpreted as blackpill-ish, but why would a woman do this reviving only to have his aura return so he will start hurting her again by taking a Side b*tch?
I can't wrap my head around what a solution could be except for her maybe taking her own Side F*ckboy.

Its why I agreed a few months ago in a post that society is at or rapidly headed towards the polyamoury state of relationships.

"You get a Side B*tch, you get a Side F*ckboy...everyone gets a Side piece!"

*say that out loud in the Oprah voice when she gives audience gifts in days before Christmas episodes.....lol!
That's how people are thinking these days. Ots pretty trashy.

But yes, man or woman if you get degraded by a person or a situation you must be validated somewhere else to be restored If your sexual image has been trashed out by a greedy wife or gf you will have to revive that with other women who admire you.
 

christie

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That's how people are thinking these days. Ots pretty trashy.

But yes, man or woman if you get degraded by a person or a situation you must be validated somewhere else to be restored If your sexual image has been trashed out by a greedy wife or gf you will have to revive that with other women who admire you.
I know how fortunate I've been to learn on this site.
A safe place to grow and replenish my energy and restore what I think positively and hopefully for my future.

Apex Mindset on yt has some good videos. In the Dec 9, 2020 one on Promiscuity he actually addresses women directly at about 21 min mark. He's good with his NLP and evo psych. knowledge and skill.
I recommend him and this site for women who are taking the time to figure out where they've been going wrong and how to take accountability to change.
Red pill rage subsides and selfdevelopment work must be ramped up
 

Ricky

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I know how fortunate I've been to learn on this site.
A safe place to grow and replenish my energy and restore what I think positively and hopefully for my future.

Apex Mindset on yt has some good videos. In the Dec 9, 2020 one on Promiscuity he actually addresses women directly at about 21 min mark. He's good with his NLP and evo psych. knowledge and skill.
I recommend him and this site for women who are taking the time to figure out where they've been going wrong and how to take accountability to change.
Red pill rage subsides and selfdevelopment work must be ramped up
Will check this one out
 

christie

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Will check this one out
Yes, it was good and accurate. Its hard for women to take accountability/responsibility.
I'm guilty of redating exboyfriends thinking I'm keeping the notch count low. smh
 

Lookatu

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I'm guilty of redating exboyfriends thinking I'm keeping the notch count low. smh
One of my ex's tried to do this with me and called it "recycling". It's good for the environment. LOL
 

christie

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One of my ex's tried to do this with me and called it "recycling". It's good for the environment. LOL
Meanwhile, there's a chance they would have been exposed to a disproportionate amount of sti's.
They might not have been a safe bet like I assumed they would be.
I have taken some terrible chances. Dumb.
 
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