Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I appreciate it. I realize I’ve come a long way since the start of this journal. But it looks like to break my plateau, I’m going to have to become the Nick that I envisioned at the very beginning of this journal. What I’m doing now just isn’t enough.Man you should be proud of what you are doing
You are doing much more than most ppl to improve your situation.
Thanks man. I’m just trying to get there one dayIf you stay in current mind set and dont relent you will very successful.
I wish i had half your drive to makes things happens
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
My style is different than yours. You're a young black guy in college, I'm a 32 yo white working professional. Our styles will be different but equally effective if pulled off with swagger. Don't try to be something you aren't. There are plenty of boots that look like that or better and are certainly cheaper. Also I would probably never spend that type of money on sneakers...but I'm not a sneaker head.Hey @SoSuave666 mind if I ask you some questions about fashion though?
So I got called out today because I was wearing a fake Chanel durag. Chanel doesn’t even make Durags, so that was a dumb mistake on my part. No more “hype” shyt like that for me, it’s just ridiculous. Also no more Durags in public so I need to learn to cut my own hair. But anyways.
Designer is out, but how do you feel about places like r/FashionReps where you can get replicas of non-hype things for cheaper? For instance, I would like to get some Air Max 97s and some Chelsea Boots. I’ll post links below. If I buy these from the US, it’s gonna cost me over $300. But if I use FashionReps stuff, I can get replicas overseas for about $150. You think it’s ok to do stuff like that or will I just get embarrassed again? Although these are replicas of actual real things, instead of Durags that don’t exist.
If you all want to chime in on this question too, feel free.
Air Max 97s:
https://stockx.com/nike-air-max-97-...6_GigoES5pjoj25QuXkIpKGlqcWC-QtMaArcCEALw_wcB
Chelsea Boots:
https://tictail.com/handmadeshoe/sand-crepe-chelsea-boots-for-men
Thanks for the tips! Working out and getting that ripped body really is gonna be critical in my own personal transformation. With resources like this site, r/MaleFashionAdvice, r/StreetWear, Alpha M, and TMF, I think I know exactly how I need to dress. Now I just need to actually buy the pieces.My style is different than yours. You're a young black guy in college, I'm a 32 yo white working professional. Our styles will be different but equally effective if pulled off with swagger. Don't try to be something you aren't. There are plenty of boots that look like that or better and are certainly cheaper. Also I would probably never spend that type of money on sneakers...but I'm not a sneaker head.
My advice is this, really: find whatever style fits you best. Get a few of the high end clothes/shoes you want but don't go overboard. There are plenty of bargains out there for you and I would utilize those instead of buying upper-end accessories, especially at your age. The more important thing is how the clothes/shoes look on you and how you feel. If you are working out hard, you'll have confidence even if you were wearing paper bags on your feet. Clothes will fit much better if you've got broad shoulders and a slim waist.
Good luck. And there's a thread over in don juan tips about another members makeover. There's some good advice in there that may help you as well, as far as clothes, watches, etc. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/redskinfan92-physical-makeover.256396/page-7#post-2616366
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
When you talk like this, it's worrisome. It wouldn't hurt to talk to a counseler about these things. In fact, I suggest doing it tomorrow right after class.Random Midday Note: Venting Time
...
As morbid as it is, sometimes I wish I could just die. Sometimes I feel like everything in my life is wrong and I just wanna quit. I don’t know if I can salvage it. I’m literally still insecure and I’m just trying to cover up my insecurities like with a Band Aid. Faking who I am, trying to pretend like I’m someone I’m not... even if I make like a 3.7-3.8 GPA this semester I still don’t think I’ll be happy. And I don’t know what will make me happy. I guess all I can do in the moment is continue to work on school and learn Game.
I’m just gonna sit down and do my homework somewhere. This has been one of the worst days of my life so far. Jeez.
I’ll do that at my earliest convenience as long as I can humble myself lol. I get crazy thoughts like that whenever things are going badly for me for whatever reasonWhen you talk like this, it's worrisome. It wouldn't hurt to talk to a counseler about these things. In fact, I suggest doing it tomorrow right after class.
This line of thinking can snowball and turn into a dangerous situation.
This isn't something you should put off. It's one thing to post stuff like that once. But when you post similar stuff involving suicide, it's not something just to shrug off. You need professional help.I’ll do that at my earliest convenience as long as I can humble myself lol. I get crazy thoughts like that whenever things are going badly for me for whatever reason
Honestly I’ve known for a while that I’ve needed some help, I’ve just been averse to admitting weakness in the “real world,” you know what I mean?This isn't something you should put off. It's one thing to post stuff like that once. But when you post similar stuff involving suicide, it's not something just to shrug off. You need professional help.
Get some help, brother.Honestly I’ve known for a while that I’ve needed some help, I’ve just been averse to admitting weakness in the “real world,” you know what I mean?
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.