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GrowingPains

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Oh I meant Alpha M, not AMS. Alpha M gives fashion advice and his channel is very similar to Teachingmensfashion.

I'll get on that after work tonight. I'm gonna be up really late between getting ready for this concert tomorrow and getting in some basic studying. I'm gonna start by just reading through my Java book and making sure that I understand all of the basic concepts.

So you're not a fan of energy drinks? I ended up relying on those pretty heavily last semester.
Just remember that everything has it's side effects. If you are willing to accept those side effects, go for it.

Im not a fan of caffeine. But I do enjoy a variety of teas. I am currently still trying to figure out how I can have it and not rely on it. My main reason being that I want to be able to perform at a high level without NEEDING external stimuli. That being said, it takes time to achieve that and I realise that sometimes you're tired but you gotta get work done. In general, it's best to not have to rely on something or someone, imo.
 

nicksaiz65

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Just remember that everything has it's side effects. If you are willing to accept those side effects, go for it.

Im not a fan of caffeine. But I do enjoy a variety of teas. I am currently still trying to figure out how I can have it and not rely on it. My main reason being that I want to be able to perform at a high level without NEEDING external stimuli. That being said, it takes time to achieve that and I realise that sometimes you're tired but you gotta get work done. In general, it's best to not have to rely on something or someone, imo.
I feel you. For this semester I may need some though lol
 

GrowingPains

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Do what you gotta do, as they say.
 

nicksaiz65

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Divide and Conquer

Okay guys. I’ve thought of a strategy for defeating school this week.

I need to take this one piece at a time to win. The biggest threats to me are this concert and Java Test. They’re the closest.

So I’m gonna focus exclusively on eliminating those. And getting an A.

Then I’ll destroy the rest. And it’ll be way more manageable!!!
 

nicksaiz65

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The Various Ways in Which I Fvck up my Cold Approaches; I Destroyed the Concert; From Blackcel to Chad

So remember how I said I was only gonna drink two mixed drinks on my birthday? Well I ended up getting shyt faced hahaha.

But anyways guys, I've got a lot of information to disclose before I start on my working out and studying for today. I have maybe 15 minutes to type all of this up before I've gotta get to work. So there's lots of stuff that I need to talk about with you guys.

The Concert
I did a pretty good job on the concert. I'd give myself a B- because I made one ugly mistake in my song. I need to practice more, and I especially need to keep working on my scales and arpeggios. That way, I will have a much more solid technique and I won't be so stressed when I have to learn pieces under a time crunch. Plus it'll let me play better in tune as well. Even just 15 minutes of scales and arpeggios a day would help. So I'll be doing that from now on.

Fashion
I splurged on even more Graphic Tees. This is my last fashion haul. After this, I can finally say that I have shyt to wear. I even found some pieces that TMF had in some of his videos. Every single day I come closer and closer to dressing like Jose Zuniga and that is great.


Messing Up on these Cold Approaches/Now Using Routines
God, I messed up. I should've done a really good approach this weekend but of course I fvcked it up. Beautiful brunette girl.

I'm not gonna type too much here, but sometimes I need to say ABC(Always Be Closing) and just go for the number/Snapchat. None of this "oh I haven't built enough comfort" or "oh I'm gonna look creepy" shyt.

I know I was just saying the opposite yesterday, but I'm gonna have to go back to PUA routines like outlined in Magic Bullets, Game, or The Natural. I'm sick and fvcking tired of not knowing what to say when I see a beautiful woman. I need a Game Plan for dealing with these attractive women. Most people grow out of the PUA Scene, but since I'm just a kid at heart pretending to be an adult, I'll never grow out of it. Of course, if the routine goes off track, then I'm good at improvising. I just need that safety net to catch me so that I can have good Game.

I've just realized that I've been using routines in every aspect of Dating that I'm getting better at. Building Chemistry, even if you do all 3 aspects at the same time? That's a routine. My text messaging game? That's a routine. Hell, even me doing better in school is a routine. Everything in my life is gonna be a routine from now on. Like a perfect computer program.

Note that when I say routine, I don't mean memorizing word for word what I'm gonna say. That's counterproductive and I'll come off forced. Roosh V recommends that you memorize a handful of openers, conversational topics, and know an emotional progression model for when you do an approach. Hell, I was rereading the DJ Bible and it says to do that too. So that's my approach to girls from now on.

I'm gonna be reading and watching hella PUA so that I can understand how both women and life work from now on. One of my life goals was to become a great PUA anyways. Time to bring that goal back.


Regarding this Test on Monday....
Not much to say about it other than it's my absolute number one priority to get an A on this test. 20% of my grade in my Java Class. Tomorrow, all I'm doing is taking this test and going to the classes that take attendance. I must show up to lab because I missed last week and 2 zeroes will knock me out of the race.


Cardio, Book Reading, Hair Brushing, Etc...
I need to do cardio today or my body is gonna shut down. I'll be lifting tomorrow. I'm gonna moisturize my hair after that with Olive Oil and brush my hair to 2 chapters of The Dead Key. I went to the barber yesterday and he said that I was making great progress on my 360 Waves.


So Fvcking Obnoxious
I really do hate how sometimes I'll meet a girl and we'll have very similar interests yet I still fail to hook up with her. She'll always be really hot too, which drives me up the fvcking wall. All I can do against this is raise my value so I can make the transition from Blackcel to Chad.
 

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GrowingPains

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I'm sick and fvcking tired of not knowing what to say when I see a beautiful woman
"Hi, what's your name?" *Never fails, might not be that interesting but an interesting conversation is more important than an interesting opener imo*
"Bianca"
"I'm Nick, nice to meet you. Where are you from, Bianca?" *Girls in college are usually from other places so this is an easy way to open up conversation topics*
"Missouri, [maybe she'll ask you where you're from if she's interested]"
"Maybe I'll go to Missouri one day. What did you like to do there?"
"Hmmm idk, go to school?? Haha I used to play piano at blah blah"
"That's what's up, I just played a concert the other day How long have you been playing?"
"A concert? Where? What instrument? I played for 9 years I'm a little rusty now."

Boom. Now you're in. Just talk man. Try to know more about her and throw in ambiguous, relevant tidbits about yourself that she can ask you questions about. If she takes the bait, she's interested. If not, I'd next her tbh. I've been getting way too many numbers from disinterested convos that turn into nothing. And in hindsight, I can tell it's because of the way she responded to my questions. Uneasy. Skeptical. Short.
 

nicksaiz65

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"Hi, what's your name?" *Never fails, might not be that interesting but an interesting conversation is more important than an interesting opener imo*
"Bianca"
"I'm Nick, nice to meet you. Where are you from, Bianca?" *Girls in college are usually from other places so this is an easy way to open up conversation topics*
"Missouri, [maybe she'll ask you where you're from if she's interested]"
"Maybe I'll go to Missouri one day. What did you like to do there?"
"Hmmm idk, go to school?? Haha I used to play piano at blah blah"
"That's what's up, I just played a concert the other day How long have you been playing?"
"A concert? Where? What instrument? I played for 9 years I'm a little rusty now."

Boom. Now you're in. Just talk man. Try to know more about her and throw in ambiguous, relevant tidbits about yourself that she can ask you questions about. If she takes the bait, she's interested. If not, I'd next her tbh. I've been getting way too many numbers from disinterested convos that turn into nothing. And in hindsight, I can tell it's because of the way she responded to my questions. Uneasy. Skeptical. Short.
Yeah I feel you. The key is to just keep talking even if you are using a routine. I’ve heard some PUAs say that if the conversation isn’t good and she doesn’t seem invested, there’s no point in even getting the number because she won’t text you back.

I feel like if I really just focus on one issue at a time with my Game and just keep practicing, it’ll eventually correct itself over time.
 

nicksaiz65

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Random Sidenote: I find it really funny how literally 100% of girls look up to Cardi B as a role model
 

nicksaiz65

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Hey @GrowingPains I know this is a dumb question because routines definitely work, but you ever feel like by using routines you’re trying to paper over your natural personality and use someone else’s idea of what women find attractive instead of just being yourself?

I mean I’m still going to have a very general and flexible flowchart in my head through these routines. Cause I find that if you don’t have that it’s like wandering around in the forest without a map. But just a dumb random thought and I was wondering if you had an opinion on it.
 

nicksaiz65

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Hey @GrowingPains I know this is a dumb question because routines definitely work, but you ever feel like by using routines you’re trying to paper over your natural personality and use someone else’s idea of what women find attractive instead of just being yourself?

I mean I’m still going to have a very general and flexible flowchart in my head through these routines. Cause I find that if you don’t have that it’s like wandering around in the forest without a map. But just a dumb random thought and I was wondering if you had an opinion on it.
Well, I say things like that and then I think about how people used to make fun of me for not knowing what to say when I approach girls. Once I get mad about that I dive right into the routines
 

nicksaiz65

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Elite 360 Wave Progress

Taper Gang: Still working on my Self Cuts. No fades, because those cut out waves and that’s not the look I’m going for. If Nick Wavy can do a great job doing a Self Cut while rocking Elite Waves, there’s no reason that I can’t do that too.

No more 1.5s for me. I gotta get these waves more visible. I’m gonna wolf it out for 5-6 weeks and then get a 1.75. I’ll continue to work my way up.

I gotta keep listening to The Dead Key. I really need to get through this book and get my waves on spin. I just finished Chapter 33. Pretty dang long book, but I’m enjoying it.

Even my barber agreed that waves pop more at a 2-2.5. They become very visible. So that is the goal for me, not low cuts.
 
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GrowingPains

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Well, I say things like that and then I think about how people used to make fun of me for not knowing what to say when I approach girls. Once I get mad about that I dive right into the routines
Hmm...

Well, of course I put thought into what I'm going to say to the girl when I approach. And early on I used to be nervous about having the perfect, most interesting thing to say. But nowadays, I don't really care. If I can't think of something to say about what she's wearing/doing/the environment, then I just ask her her name. I'm realizing more as I learn more about game that you win some and you lose more. As much as I want to raise her interest, because I want fvck her, some women just aren't into you. I'm trying to be more of the mindset that if they aren't, then next.

Posted this a while back, and this sh!t is fire:
"If she don't wanna fvck, sh!t, I ain't gon' make her
B!tch I'm too fly to be tryna convince a b!tch
Baby I'm a blessing
What the fvck I look like stressin'?
Any b!tch ain't let me fvck, I had to boss up
Just to teach that b!tch a lesson
I get a b!tch without workin' a muscle
Why these ni***s steady flexin'?"


As far as knowing what to say; use the routines if they make you feel comfortable. But at the end of the day, experience is the best teacher. You will, one day, not need the routines and will just freestyle a convo. At that time, I believe you've learned to just be you and not care what she thinks. The only reason you don't know what to say to her is because you're worried about saying the right thing. There isn't a right thing. We all fall victim to this especially early on. Just say what you wanna say, if she likes it - she likes you. This is why women like bad boys, because they aren't afraid to be themselves. Learn to not be afraid to be you.

I know that I'm funny, charismatic, intelligent, etc. What I need to work on is just being myself. My unfiltered self (S/o LA if you're reading this, I've been realizing this more and more lately). Because I'm a cool guy, and honestly, if she doesn't like it then I'm not trynna waste my time. I'm not papering over sh!t. What I need to do is stop trying to paper over it. Say what I want. When I want. Because I do what I want, respectfully of course - I'm still a gentleman. That's what an alpha male would do.

Try this: As you're about to approach her, think 'I'm going to give her the opportunity to get to know me." it will help you be a little bit more calm and confident, I think.

Routines are like training wheels. You might need them to get started. But very soon you will outgrow them and you can go off script. The thing about computers is that they can calculate and find the answer because they have the algorithm and the information stored. So they can use templates to get started. You can only build such a database by having experience. This means that in the beginning you might be purely using the script and the conversation might be a bit rigid. But over time, you will know how to branch off of things she says because you've heard similar things before due to other approaches and you'll be able to have a more natural, unscripted convo. Fake it till you make it. Use the scripts if they give you confidence.
 

nicksaiz65

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2/10/19: Fake it Till I Make It

Guys. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but my confidence has been at an all time low lately(gotta work as many musical references into this journal as I can.) I’ve decided that I’m gonna take Dr. Nerdlove’s advice and Fake it Till I Make It. I have to act like the end goal Nick who is already 100% confident while I improve myself. That Nick would have no qualms asking a girl out. And ironically, by pretending to be that Nick, I will set myself up to actually be him in the future.

EDIT: Also, as I do this, I need to learn to not give af about rejection. If I let my ego get hurt every time I get rejected, I am literally going to DIE as my ambitions increase this year.

P.S. After I ace this exam tomorrow, I’m gonna reward myself by getting some tea and buying a copy of Roosh’s Day Bang on Kindle. I have the PDF, but I think it’d be a nice book to have on Kindle. Worth the $10 in my opinion. Day Game is eventually going to be a really big thing for me as I tweak my approach. I do own the book Game, which has a section on Day Game. But I’m OCD, so I’d like every minute detail broken down. So buying this book will be good for my game. The rest of my money will go into savings. After this, I must [SAVE ALL MY MONEY FROM SHOWS]
 
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nicksaiz65

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Hmm...

Well, of course I put thought into what I'm going to say to the girl when I approach. And early on I used to be nervous about having the perfect, most interesting thing to say. But nowadays, I don't really care. If I can't think of something to say about what she's wearing/doing/the environment, then I just ask her her name. I'm realizing more as I learn more about game that you win some and you lose more. As much as I want to raise her interest, because I want fvck her, some women just aren't into you. I'm trying to be more of the mindset that if they aren't, then next.

Posted this a while back, and this sh!t is fire:
"If she don't wanna fvck, sh!t, I ain't gon' make her
B!tch I'm too fly to be tryna convince a b!tch
Baby I'm a blessing
What the fvck I look like stressin'?
Any b!tch ain't let me fvck, I had to boss up
Just to teach that b!tch a lesson
I get a b!tch without workin' a muscle
Why these ni***s steady flexin'?"


As far as knowing what to say; use the routines if they make you feel comfortable. But at the end of the day, experience is the best teacher. You will, one day, not need the routines and will just freestyle a convo. At that time, I believe you've learned to just be you and not care what she thinks. The only reason you don't know what to say to her is because you're worried about saying the right thing. There isn't a right thing. We all fall victim to this especially early on. Just say what you wanna say, if she likes it - she likes you. This is why women like bad boys, because they aren't afraid to be themselves. Learn to not be afraid to be you.

I know that I'm funny, charismatic, intelligent, etc. What I need to work on is just being myself. My unfiltered self (S/o LA if you're reading this, I've been realizing this more and more lately). Because I'm a cool guy, and honestly, if she doesn't like it then I'm not trynna waste my time. I'm not papering over sh!t. What I need to do is stop trying to paper over it. Say what I want. When I want. Because I do what I want, respectfully of course - I'm still a gentleman. That's what an alpha male would do.

Try this: As you're about to approach her, think 'I'm going to give her the opportunity to get to know me." it will help you be a little bit more calm and confident, I think.

Routines are like training wheels. You might need them to get started. But very soon you will outgrow them and you can go off script. The thing about computers is that they can calculate and find the answer because they have the algorithm and the information stored. So they can use templates to get started. You can only build such a database by having experience. This means that in the beginning you might be purely using the script and the conversation might be a bit rigid. But over time, you will know how to branch off of things she says because you've heard similar things before due to other approaches and you'll be able to have a more natural, unscripted convo. Fake it till you make it. Use the scripts if they give you confidence.
Right. I’ve done a decent amount of approaches in this journal, but I’m nowhere near experienced enough. I’m gonna reread some of the books in my library so that I can get an idea of what I need to do. Somehow, they make infinitely more sense now that I’ve been out in the field. I need to reread the DJ Bible too. I’m very rusty on that, it’s been nearly 3 years since I’ve read it. I think when I hit around 100 approaches we’ll really be cooking.

I think that Fake it Till I Make It is gonna be the only way for me to get shyt Done confidence wise this year. It could take almost 2 years for me to eliminate the stuff that I don’t like about myself. But I’ll slowly build up my confidence over time some more.

Thanks for the input dude. You definitely contribute a lot of value to this journal with your commentary.
 
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nicksaiz65

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Last random update of the night before I get back to my studying... The Incendiaries seems like a really cool book to put on my reading list. I have some other stuff to read first but I’ll get to it. Roosh V says as a PUA, you should always be reading to both get smarter and get those words locked into your head to use in conversations.
 

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I think another thing that’s holding me back from success is that I worry too much about being perfect. I think that because I don’t have rock hard abs no girl would want me. Yet I see this athletic hot ass girl with kind of a chubby dude and I was blown away. Well I’m working on the abs part. But while I do that, I’m gonna say f it and put myself out there with Game. Even if I am a bit chubby.

Okay, now I seriously do have to study or I’ll be on here complaining about my grades lol. I’ll see you guys with another update tomorrow
 

GrowingPains

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Thanks for the input dude. You definitely contribute a lot of value to this journal with your commentary
Any time, G. Just wanna see a fellow DJ make it, ya get me.

And thanks for posting. Often times, I get to understand myself a bit more through offering advice here. So it's a win for us both.
 

nicksaiz65

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Any time, G. Just wanna see a fellow DJ make it, ya get me.

And thanks for posting. Often times, I get to understand myself a bit more through offering advice here. So it's a win for us both.
Of course! It’s always nice to get my thoughts out and get some feedback on them. Plus, if others can learn from my experiences that’s always good. Putting value back into the website.

Although sometimes I wonder how long should I do this journal until I end it? The journals that I followed that inspired to make this one went about 2-3 years. Although I post almost daily in this now, I like having my whole life and little thoughts captured in here.
 

nicksaiz65

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Book Stuff: Author Stuff

I may end up just buying the Kindle version of The Incendiaries and read it before bed sometimes. Audiobooks are really cool and they’re helping me get Wavy, but sometimes it’s nice to just sit down or lay in bed and read a nice book.

Also, I want to pursue my dreams of being an author again. I think I have a pretty nice writing style, and it was one of my dreams to have a book published. With Kindle, I think I could do that.

Maybe I should start writing short stories again? If I could write a novel and get it published, that would be one of the best things ever. Plus it would be a great way for me to make some passive income as well. These are the kinds of things I’m talking about when I say I want to start my own business so that I’m not a Wage Slave for the rest of my life.

The only thing is, I have no clue what I would write about. I used to write short stories. Maybe I’ll just write from the soul. I may write under my pen name, Nick Saiz. This’ll just be some things that I’m thinking about as I get more spare time. Lots of ways to make money in this world. After all, what is money but an idea and an execution? I need to start reading books on literature and English so that I can be well versed in these subjects.

EDIT: I’m also living out my dreams of being a composer, just in a different way than I originally envisioned. I’m composing on “modern” instruments like Omnisphere instead of with a symphony orchestra. This way, I can hear my creations instantly.
 
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