She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
So your belief is current social programming is making it nearly impossible to have a good relationship?badboyjmm said:I would have no problem with being in a LTR but the chick, because of social programming, will probably have an issue.
Precisely.Harry Wilmington said:All that to say: her giving it up on the first date shouldn't deter any man from being with a woman long-term. Plus, isn't that backwards thinking? If she's giving it up the first night, that means YOU are doing the same thing! #nohypocrisy
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
It a weird thing. In my experience, the girls had issues with the fact that we hook up on the first date. For that reason, I never was able to meet a girl after we hook up so quickly.mrgoodstuff said:So your belief is current social programming is making it nearly impossible to have a good relationship?
Never thought about it that way.
Good post. And I agree, one has to look at the entire package.Harry Wilmington said:...yeah - sorry, but you're asking the wrong question.
Realistically, you wouldn't know if the woman was someone you wanted to marry until you've dated them for a while - and even THEN, you could be wrong.
I had a buddy from college who was a virgin when he got married, to a woman who was also a virgin. 2.5 years and 1 kid later, they got divorced. So, despite her not giving it up on the first night - or at all during their relationship - it wasn't able to work out for reasons outside of sex (although sex - or lack thereof - also played a factor).
Meanwhile, there are women who have been married 20+ years to a guy whom they had sex with on a first date. You have to remember, when dealing with people there are more factors involved in determining what makes a "good woman" beyond her first night activities. There are also numerous reasons as to why a woman would give it up on the first night that don't involve her being a slvt. Maybe it was a year since she had any and she thought you looked attractive. Maybe she didn't plan to have sex with you, but the way you acted that night was so smooth that she went along with YOUR advanced moves when you started making them. Heck, maybe she WAS a slvt and thought you'd be another notch on her belt, and it turned out she felt a genuine connection with you that lasted long-term.
All that to say: her giving it up on the first date shouldn't deter any man from being with a woman long-term. Plus, isn't that backwards thinking? If she's giving it up the first night, that means YOU are doing the same thing! #nohypocrisy