Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
So your belief is current social programming is making it nearly impossible to have a good relationship?badboyjmm said:I would have no problem with being in a LTR but the chick, because of social programming, will probably have an issue.
Precisely.Harry Wilmington said:All that to say: her giving it up on the first date shouldn't deter any man from being with a woman long-term. Plus, isn't that backwards thinking? If she's giving it up the first night, that means YOU are doing the same thing! #nohypocrisy
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
It a weird thing. In my experience, the girls had issues with the fact that we hook up on the first date. For that reason, I never was able to meet a girl after we hook up so quickly.mrgoodstuff said:So your belief is current social programming is making it nearly impossible to have a good relationship?
Never thought about it that way.
Good post. And I agree, one has to look at the entire package.Harry Wilmington said:...yeah - sorry, but you're asking the wrong question.
Realistically, you wouldn't know if the woman was someone you wanted to marry until you've dated them for a while - and even THEN, you could be wrong.
I had a buddy from college who was a virgin when he got married, to a woman who was also a virgin. 2.5 years and 1 kid later, they got divorced. So, despite her not giving it up on the first night - or at all during their relationship - it wasn't able to work out for reasons outside of sex (although sex - or lack thereof - also played a factor).
Meanwhile, there are women who have been married 20+ years to a guy whom they had sex with on a first date. You have to remember, when dealing with people there are more factors involved in determining what makes a "good woman" beyond her first night activities. There are also numerous reasons as to why a woman would give it up on the first night that don't involve her being a slvt. Maybe it was a year since she had any and she thought you looked attractive. Maybe she didn't plan to have sex with you, but the way you acted that night was so smooth that she went along with YOUR advanced moves when you started making them. Heck, maybe she WAS a slvt and thought you'd be another notch on her belt, and it turned out she felt a genuine connection with you that lasted long-term.
All that to say: her giving it up on the first date shouldn't deter any man from being with a woman long-term. Plus, isn't that backwards thinking? If she's giving it up the first night, that means YOU are doing the same thing! #nohypocrisy