You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
So your belief is current social programming is making it nearly impossible to have a good relationship?badboyjmm said:I would have no problem with being in a LTR but the chick, because of social programming, will probably have an issue.
Precisely.Harry Wilmington said:All that to say: her giving it up on the first date shouldn't deter any man from being with a woman long-term. Plus, isn't that backwards thinking? If she's giving it up the first night, that means YOU are doing the same thing! #nohypocrisy
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
It a weird thing. In my experience, the girls had issues with the fact that we hook up on the first date. For that reason, I never was able to meet a girl after we hook up so quickly.mrgoodstuff said:So your belief is current social programming is making it nearly impossible to have a good relationship?
Never thought about it that way.
Good post. And I agree, one has to look at the entire package.Harry Wilmington said:...yeah - sorry, but you're asking the wrong question.
Realistically, you wouldn't know if the woman was someone you wanted to marry until you've dated them for a while - and even THEN, you could be wrong.
I had a buddy from college who was a virgin when he got married, to a woman who was also a virgin. 2.5 years and 1 kid later, they got divorced. So, despite her not giving it up on the first night - or at all during their relationship - it wasn't able to work out for reasons outside of sex (although sex - or lack thereof - also played a factor).
Meanwhile, there are women who have been married 20+ years to a guy whom they had sex with on a first date. You have to remember, when dealing with people there are more factors involved in determining what makes a "good woman" beyond her first night activities. There are also numerous reasons as to why a woman would give it up on the first night that don't involve her being a slvt. Maybe it was a year since she had any and she thought you looked attractive. Maybe she didn't plan to have sex with you, but the way you acted that night was so smooth that she went along with YOUR advanced moves when you started making them. Heck, maybe she WAS a slvt and thought you'd be another notch on her belt, and it turned out she felt a genuine connection with you that lasted long-term.
All that to say: her giving it up on the first date shouldn't deter any man from being with a woman long-term. Plus, isn't that backwards thinking? If she's giving it up the first night, that means YOU are doing the same thing! #nohypocrisy