You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Yea I did. The OP asked if you should get with a girl with kids.Kerpal said:That didn't answer the question.
Attraction isn't a choice. Attraction never changes. What does change are motivational priorities—like a girl getting knocked up by the strong dominant male and then finding a beta provider, or the other way around with cuckoldry. The whole notion of girls finally "realizing" through "maturity" in their mid-twenties they like nice guys is a canard.elite7:
Do you think people can change.
Go young.Kerpal:
I'd like to say no, but what happens when you get older and most women have gone thru their marriage/kids/divorce phase?
Well, that's a good question. I could do it without much problem but I don't.Kerpal said:I was talking about MY question. It's easy to say "No, go younger", but how many guys are actually pulling this off?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
It helps to still be relatively youthful / in shape, dress young, and have good game. Granted, most balk at the idea but about 1 out of 5 can be persuaded.Kerpal said:Again, easier said than done. Every older guy is trying to do this, how do you pull it off unless you're at the top of the pyramid?
I think this is the crux of this whole thread, and leads to some confusion...Drdeee said:I'd date a girl with kids and make her my fak buddy but wouldn't get into anything serious with her.
A girl that is 22 with 2 kids you have to understand is not a good catch, and she probably is looking for something serious, preferably with a guy who has a lot of cash..
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Even the widows?Desdinova said:All single mothers are NOT relationship material.
Solomon said:Even the widows?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.