"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Would a girl I met once 2 years ago remember me?

Reyaj

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I went on a double date so to speak 2 years ago. The outing lasted about 2 hours.

I started talking to this girl again under a different persona and she wants to meet me.

I'm thinking of growing out some facial hair and maybe having a different hair style. Do you think she'd remember me?

We met only one time ever 2 years ago...
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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SW15

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If it was a 10-15 minute cold approach 2 years ago, you'd safely be forgotten by most women. There's a decent chance she'll remember a 2 hour date from 2 years ago. 2 hours is a long time. While she probably won't remember a lot of the specifics of the date, she'll remember the general feeling at the end of the 2 hours.
 

Reyaj

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If it was a 10-15 minute cold approach 2 years ago, you'd safely be forgotten by most women. There's a decent chance she'll remember a 2 hour date from 2 years ago. 2 hours is a long time. While she probably won't remember a lot of the specifics of the date, she'll remember the general feeling at the end of the 2 hours.
Yeah so just to clarify, it was a double date sort of thing. Me and my girl, and someone I know and his girl (who is my target). They have since broke up..

So yeah we were together for about 2 hours, but it wasn't an individual date type thing.

You think she will remember?
 

jimwho

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You had better have a reply handy for when she remembers you. Like "I was hoping you'd remember me". Because
If you show up in a trench coat with a beard wearing dark sunglasses, could be construed as Mega Creepy!
 

Reyaj

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You had better have a reply handy for when she remembers you. Like "I was hoping you'd remember me". Because
If you show up in a trench coat with a beard wearing dark sunglasses, could be construed as Mega Creepy!
Haha. Yeah I mean I would deny the hell out of it. If there was a good chance she'd remember me I wouldn't go through with it. That is what I'm trying to assess.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SW15

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Yeah so just to clarify, it was a double date sort of thing. Me and my girl, and someone I know and his girl (who is my target). They have since broke up..

So yeah we were together for about 2 hours, but it wasn't an individual date type thing.
So you want to hit on the ex-girlfriend of some acquaintance of yours?

Not a good idea.
 

SW15

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Yeah I find her attractive. They are done. What's the problem?
1. The "someone you know" will be pisssed at you for going after his ex. It's probably going to sever that relationship. You'd better hope that man is a low level acquaintance and not one of your close friends or even a 2nd tier friend.

2. There's no guarantee that this woman will find you attractive.

3. You're approaching her through an internet dating website or swipe app. It'd be one thing if you ran into her in some real life manner, like at the grocery store. Getting her number at a grocery store or out in public somewhere would be more understandable than doing this through the use of some sort of technology.
 

Reyaj

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1. The "someone you know" will be pisssed at you for going after his ex. It's probably going to sever that relationship. You'd better hope that man is a low level acquaintance and not one of your close friends or even a 2nd tier friend.

2. There's no guarantee that this woman will find you attractive.

3. You're approaching her through an internet dating website or swipe app. It'd be one thing if you ran into her in some real life manner, like at the grocery store. Getting her number at a grocery store or out in public somewhere would be more understandable than doing this through the use of some sort of technology.
I appreciate the response, all valid points.

1. He is not a close friend. He would never find out though. They don't keep in touch at all and are in different states.

2. Yes, you are absolutely right that she may not find me attractive. She actually is into guys that have facial hair and I'm clean shaven. So I figured I'd try growing facial hair to see if it gives me a shot while also disguising me a bit.

3. So it all comes down to whether she'd remember me or not. If she doesn't remember me then the current narrative fits. If she does the worst that could happen is she finds out who my wifey is and tells her. I'd hope the chances of her doing that are low but that's why I want to see the probability of her remembering me.
 

2Rocky

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Be prepared for the "You look familiar" line. People often remain in our subconscious for a long time. I recommend saying "we must have known each other in a past life. Perhaps we were lovers then, or not and this is our chance to reconnect?"
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Reyaj

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Be prepared for the "You look familiar" line. People often remain in our subconscious for a long time. I recommend saying "we must have known each other in a past life. Perhaps we were lovers then, or not and this is our chance to reconnect?"
Yeah I was anticipating that.. that's a response... What do you think the chances are she'll remember me and the event? All we did they day was sit at a table and talk over drinks.
 

2Rocky

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Look at it this way...If she DOES remember you and still agreed to go out, consider it to be in the PLUS column and just go with it. Don't bring it up unless she does. it could be in your favor... oh "Rey, i thought you were SOOOO CUTE...."
 

Reyaj

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Look at it this way...If she DOES remember you and still agreed to go out, consider it to be in the PLUS column and just go with it. Don't bring it up unless she does. it could be in your favor... oh "Rey, i thought you were SOOOO CUTE...."
She definitely thinks this is a whole new persona she is talking to. If she did remember me she'll remember I was engaged and could dig..

It probably isn't worth the hassle but I being able to pull something like this off would make me smile.
 

oOh Nasty

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Why not just be direct? Even if you were to pull it off, the whole "pretending we've never met" thing just seems a bit too try-hard, considering your 2 hours with her in the past probably isn't even relevant to what's happening right now.

If she finds out that you've known her all this time, she might put you in some kind of borderline catfishing/creep category.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Reyaj

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Why not just be direct? Even if you were to pull it off, the whole "pretending we've never met" thing just seems a bit too try-hard, considering your 2 hours with her in the past probably isn't even relevant to what's happening right now.

If she finds out that you've known her all this time, she might put you in some kind of borderline catfishing/creep category.
Because I've been with someone else for years lol
 

Reyaj

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Oddly enough I've had women I didn't even date and met once remember me after two years, so I asked them out but no date
Interesting.. this is actual proof of potential probability.

What was the scenario you met them in and then later asked them out years later?
 

oOh Nasty

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Unfortunately, there's a high chance she'll remember. For example, I don't even really know you or met you in person, but I think I vaguely remember in a thread years ago that you've mentioned your username stands for your real name backwards.
 

Reyaj

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Unfortunately, there's a high chance she'll remember. For example, I don't even really know you or met you in person, but I think I vaguely remember in a thread years ago that you've mentioned your username stands for your real name backwards.
That's remembering something you read versus physical rememberance though..
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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