"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Would a girl I met once 2 years ago remember me?

Reyaj

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I went on a double date so to speak 2 years ago. The outing lasted about 2 hours.

I started talking to this girl again under a different persona and she wants to meet me.

I'm thinking of growing out some facial hair and maybe having a different hair style. Do you think she'd remember me?

We met only one time ever 2 years ago...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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SW15

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If it was a 10-15 minute cold approach 2 years ago, you'd safely be forgotten by most women. There's a decent chance she'll remember a 2 hour date from 2 years ago. 2 hours is a long time. While she probably won't remember a lot of the specifics of the date, she'll remember the general feeling at the end of the 2 hours.
 

Reyaj

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If it was a 10-15 minute cold approach 2 years ago, you'd safely be forgotten by most women. There's a decent chance she'll remember a 2 hour date from 2 years ago. 2 hours is a long time. While she probably won't remember a lot of the specifics of the date, she'll remember the general feeling at the end of the 2 hours.
Yeah so just to clarify, it was a double date sort of thing. Me and my girl, and someone I know and his girl (who is my target). They have since broke up..

So yeah we were together for about 2 hours, but it wasn't an individual date type thing.

You think she will remember?
 

jimwho

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You had better have a reply handy for when she remembers you. Like "I was hoping you'd remember me". Because
If you show up in a trench coat with a beard wearing dark sunglasses, could be construed as Mega Creepy!
 

Reyaj

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You had better have a reply handy for when she remembers you. Like "I was hoping you'd remember me". Because
If you show up in a trench coat with a beard wearing dark sunglasses, could be construed as Mega Creepy!
Haha. Yeah I mean I would deny the hell out of it. If there was a good chance she'd remember me I wouldn't go through with it. That is what I'm trying to assess.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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SW15

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Yeah so just to clarify, it was a double date sort of thing. Me and my girl, and someone I know and his girl (who is my target). They have since broke up..

So yeah we were together for about 2 hours, but it wasn't an individual date type thing.
So you want to hit on the ex-girlfriend of some acquaintance of yours?

Not a good idea.
 

SW15

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Yeah I find her attractive. They are done. What's the problem?
1. The "someone you know" will be pisssed at you for going after his ex. It's probably going to sever that relationship. You'd better hope that man is a low level acquaintance and not one of your close friends or even a 2nd tier friend.

2. There's no guarantee that this woman will find you attractive.

3. You're approaching her through an internet dating website or swipe app. It'd be one thing if you ran into her in some real life manner, like at the grocery store. Getting her number at a grocery store or out in public somewhere would be more understandable than doing this through the use of some sort of technology.
 

Reyaj

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1. The "someone you know" will be pisssed at you for going after his ex. It's probably going to sever that relationship. You'd better hope that man is a low level acquaintance and not one of your close friends or even a 2nd tier friend.

2. There's no guarantee that this woman will find you attractive.

3. You're approaching her through an internet dating website or swipe app. It'd be one thing if you ran into her in some real life manner, like at the grocery store. Getting her number at a grocery store or out in public somewhere would be more understandable than doing this through the use of some sort of technology.
I appreciate the response, all valid points.

1. He is not a close friend. He would never find out though. They don't keep in touch at all and are in different states.

2. Yes, you are absolutely right that she may not find me attractive. She actually is into guys that have facial hair and I'm clean shaven. So I figured I'd try growing facial hair to see if it gives me a shot while also disguising me a bit.

3. So it all comes down to whether she'd remember me or not. If she doesn't remember me then the current narrative fits. If she does the worst that could happen is she finds out who my wifey is and tells her. I'd hope the chances of her doing that are low but that's why I want to see the probability of her remembering me.
 

2Rocky

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Be prepared for the "You look familiar" line. People often remain in our subconscious for a long time. I recommend saying "we must have known each other in a past life. Perhaps we were lovers then, or not and this is our chance to reconnect?"
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Reyaj

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Be prepared for the "You look familiar" line. People often remain in our subconscious for a long time. I recommend saying "we must have known each other in a past life. Perhaps we were lovers then, or not and this is our chance to reconnect?"
Yeah I was anticipating that.. that's a response... What do you think the chances are she'll remember me and the event? All we did they day was sit at a table and talk over drinks.
 

2Rocky

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Look at it this way...If she DOES remember you and still agreed to go out, consider it to be in the PLUS column and just go with it. Don't bring it up unless she does. it could be in your favor... oh "Rey, i thought you were SOOOO CUTE...."
 

Reyaj

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Look at it this way...If she DOES remember you and still agreed to go out, consider it to be in the PLUS column and just go with it. Don't bring it up unless she does. it could be in your favor... oh "Rey, i thought you were SOOOO CUTE...."
She definitely thinks this is a whole new persona she is talking to. If she did remember me she'll remember I was engaged and could dig..

It probably isn't worth the hassle but I being able to pull something like this off would make me smile.
 

oOh Nasty

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Why not just be direct? Even if you were to pull it off, the whole "pretending we've never met" thing just seems a bit too try-hard, considering your 2 hours with her in the past probably isn't even relevant to what's happening right now.

If she finds out that you've known her all this time, she might put you in some kind of borderline catfishing/creep category.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Reyaj

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Why not just be direct? Even if you were to pull it off, the whole "pretending we've never met" thing just seems a bit too try-hard, considering your 2 hours with her in the past probably isn't even relevant to what's happening right now.

If she finds out that you've known her all this time, she might put you in some kind of borderline catfishing/creep category.
Because I've been with someone else for years lol
 

Reyaj

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Oddly enough I've had women I didn't even date and met once remember me after two years, so I asked them out but no date
Interesting.. this is actual proof of potential probability.

What was the scenario you met them in and then later asked them out years later?
 

oOh Nasty

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Unfortunately, there's a high chance she'll remember. For example, I don't even really know you or met you in person, but I think I vaguely remember in a thread years ago that you've mentioned your username stands for your real name backwards.
 

Reyaj

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Unfortunately, there's a high chance she'll remember. For example, I don't even really know you or met you in person, but I think I vaguely remember in a thread years ago that you've mentioned your username stands for your real name backwards.
That's remembering something you read versus physical rememberance though..
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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