"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Women going back on their word

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The most funny thing is she told me I need to stop doing all those things because it ruins me being a "nice guy". And she does those things more than I do.

I should have told her to stop smoking and drinking, since it turns her into a slut and ruins her being a nice girl.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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My Name is Nobody said:
The most funny thing is she told me I need to stop doing all those things like smoking and drinking because it ruins me being a "nice guy". And she does those things just as much if not more than I do.

I should have told her to stop smoking and drinking, since it turns her into a slut and ruins her being a nice girl.
That doesn't make her to be a hor - it is her values and mindset that does this! You chose her so she is just being who she is - you knew this on the first so-called "date"!!
 
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I think what she meant I am not a "nice guy" is I wasn't a sucker and bought her stuff, paid for everything, kissed her butt, etc etc.. go find another sucker lady.
After all she didn't even have a job and lived with her parents droped out of school..

If that was us guys, we would be considered a huge loser but somehow it's acceptable if she is an attractive girl?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Incongruence 101

DJ Says:
My Name is Nobody said:
I think what she meant I am not a "nice guy" is I wasn't a sucker and bought her stuff, paid for everything, etc etc.. go find another sucker lady.
Yet he sarges a woman like this:
My Name is Nobody said:
After all she didn't even have a job and lived with her parents droped out of school..
Think the guy is setting himself up?
My Name is Nobody said:
If that was us guys, we would be considered a huge loser but somehow it's acceptable if she is an attractive girl?
This is why it's important to qualify especially after taking the path of the DJ. Why would a DJ want to sarge the same type of woman he sarged as a AFC? Madness... :crazy:

This is why you can't just "act" like a DJ, it's a lifestyle and a mindset. Basically, all of your perceptions about women needs to change in order to sidestep the majority of the madness.

Learn from the experience. Identify what went wrong. Adjust. Continue along your path.
 

penkitten

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to the op:
if someone is so flippy floppy this early on... do you question their interest level invested in you? do you question their interest levels in their own life?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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I guess I was just happy to move on from the NYE chic. I still get upset thinking about that... I suppose I'm still not completely over that one.
 

DonGorgon

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Beethoven said:
There's no difference.

Either something else is more desirable to her than meeting you - or it isn't. A woman won't let something she's more concerned with go by merely because she gave her 'word'.

If she's BSing, it's because you didn't rate highly enough in her eyes. Rate more highly next time.
God i hate that fact.... you can only beat that by having other women...LOL
 
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"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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DonGorgon

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DonJuan11 said:
What if she couldn't afford the food, what if she didn't know what to get, what if she wanted you guys to go together to get the food, what if she was afraid it would spoil by the time she brought it over, what if she didn't want to carry it, what if she wanted you to surprise her with what you were cooking instead.

So what if she didnt' bring some food, at least she showed up. It sounds like you are more upset you had to pay for the food and cook for her rather than her going back on her word.
women get too many damn what ifs ..... We dont get that many at all ,... screw up some psycho dating rule bull**** and we are out.
 

DonGorgon

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Play the Game said:
Here's some warning signs to look for...

1. Superficial charm and good intelligence
2. Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking
3. Absence of nervousness or psychoneurotic manifestations
4. Unreliability
5. Untruthfulness and insincerity
6. Lack of remorse and shame
7. Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior
8. Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience
9. Pathologic egocentricity and incapacity for love
10. General poverty in major affective reactions
11. Specific loss of insight
12. Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations
13. Fantastic and uninviting behavior with drink and sometimes without
14. Suicide rarely carried out
15. Sex life impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated
16. Failure to follow any life plan
Wow that sounds like your average human living in a capitalist society....LOL
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DonGorgon said:
Young women in 2008 have very little respect for men... cause they dont need to.
That's what I was getting at.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DonGorgon said:
Wow that sounds like your average human living in a capitalist society....LOL
And what does Capitalism have to do with it? :woo:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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DonGorgon said:
All those symptoms tend to represent in humans living under excessively capitalist societal conditions. and the sad assumption is that more money will make everything okay...
That's not Capitalism. That's what people who don't have the means that they would like call Capitalism. Capitalism isn't about money, it's about production; money is just a byproduct. A person's seeming dependence on money is something completely different.
 

comic_relief

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edit: sorry, I didn't read everything in the post

comic_relief
 

Eaglecreek

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My ex was just the same way, get out while you can, she'll keep breaking her promises I CERTAIN of it. Don't start a relationship with people like this, befriending them is ok, just don't date them, cause you'll end up frustrated by it, dump her and feel hurt yourself by doing so.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Eaglecreek said:
...Don't start a relationship with people like this, befriending them is ok, just don't date them, cause you'll end up frustrated by it, dump her and feel hurt yourself by doing so.
But what exactly does befriending them mean? Sounds like you'd be tapping into an emotional line that would suck the life out of you. Guys can't seem to tell ahead of time when a woman is just using them as a means to build themselves up. The guy reads too much into it and ends up in that bad place and ultimately creates a thread b1tching about it to the rest of us; all because he couldn't completely walk away. Befriending sounds "nice" but way too often it requires the guy sacrificing himself.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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