Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
My Name is Nobody said:I mean these are very petty things, but it is still annoying and it's a big RED FLAG in my opinion. Am I just being picky or is there a legitimate beef here?
Her
"I will check my email tonight!"
2 days later
"I havent checked it yet"
Her
"I will bring food over to your place to cook!"
She shows up with nothing.
What does she tell me next, and how am I supposed to believe it?
She showed up, just without any food.DonJuan11 said:If you told a girl you would bring food over to her place to cook, and then didnt' show up, how would you want her to react?
I'm way passed hoping for a lay my friend. I took care of that on the first date.TheRealSupreme said:Dump her. She is selfish and self centered. Why sell your balls for a woman like this just for the hopes of getting a lay!
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
So you are upset you didn't get a free meal out of it? Guess it's true what they say, a man's stomach is the most important thing.My Name is Nobody said:She showed up, just without any food.
DonJuan11 said:So you are upset you didn't get a free meal out of it? Guess it's true what they say, a man's stomach is the most important thing.
What if she couldn't afford the food, what if she didn't know what to get, what if she wanted you guys to go together to get the food, what if she was afraid it would spoil by the time she brought it over, what if she didn't want to carry it, what if she wanted you to surprise her with what you were cooking instead.My Name is Nobody said:No that has nothing to do with it. We made plans to cook at my place and she had agreed to bring some food.
Sounds like quality LTR material :crackup:My Name is Nobody said:I'm way passed hoping for a lay my friend. I took care of that on the first date.
DonJuan11 said:What if she couldn't afford the food, what if she didn't know what to get, what if she wanted you guys to go together to get the food, what if she was afraid it would spoil by the time she brought it over, what if she didn't want to carry it, what if she wanted you to surprise her with what you were cooking instead.
So what if she didnt' bring some food, at least she showed up. It sounds like you are more upset you had to pay for the food and cook for her rather than her going back on her word.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Play the Game said:We must, let it never be forgotten, judge a man by his actions rather than by his words.
-The Mask of Sanity
Your "gf" seems to show some psychopathic traits. I'd watch out.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
SHE'S 21!!! Oh, that's what you said...My Name is Nobody said:...I was just thinking selfish and immature....
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.