"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Women going back on their word

reset

Master Don Juan
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Do girls get more mature as they age or do they learn from being dumped? Neither? Lol.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DonJuan11

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My Name is Nobody said:
I mean these are very petty things, but it is still annoying and it's a big RED FLAG in my opinion. Am I just being picky or is there a legitimate beef here?

Her
"I will check my email tonight!"

2 days later
"I havent checked it yet"

Her
"I will bring food over to your place to cook!"

She shows up with nothing.

What does she tell me next, and how am I supposed to believe it?

If you told a girl you would bring food over to her place to cook, and then didnt' show up, how would you want her to react?
 
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DonJuan11 said:
If you told a girl you would bring food over to her place to cook, and then didnt' show up, how would you want her to react?
She showed up, just without any food.
 
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TheRealSupreme said:
Dump her. She is selfish and self centered. Why sell your balls for a woman like this just for the hopes of getting a lay!
I'm way passed hoping for a lay my friend. I took care of that on the first date.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DonJuan11

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My Name is Nobody said:
She showed up, just without any food.
So you are upset you didn't get a free meal out of it? Guess it's true what they say, a man's stomach is the most important thing.
 
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DonJuan11 said:
So you are upset you didn't get a free meal out of it? Guess it's true what they say, a man's stomach is the most important thing.

No that has nothing to do with it. We made plans to cook at my place and she had agreed to bring some food.
 

DonJuan11

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My Name is Nobody said:
No that has nothing to do with it. We made plans to cook at my place and she had agreed to bring some food.
What if she couldn't afford the food, what if she didn't know what to get, what if she wanted you guys to go together to get the food, what if she was afraid it would spoil by the time she brought it over, what if she didn't want to carry it, what if she wanted you to surprise her with what you were cooking instead.

So what if she didnt' bring some food, at least she showed up. It sounds like you are more upset you had to pay for the food and cook for her rather than her going back on her word.
 

Moofahsa

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My Name is Nobody said:
I'm way passed hoping for a lay my friend. I took care of that on the first date.
Sounds like quality LTR material :crackup:

Next that ****, lol you don't need no hoeee
 
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DonJuan11 said:
What if she couldn't afford the food, what if she didn't know what to get, what if she wanted you guys to go together to get the food, what if she was afraid it would spoil by the time she brought it over, what if she didn't want to carry it, what if she wanted you to surprise her with what you were cooking instead.

So what if she didnt' bring some food, at least she showed up. It sounds like you are more upset you had to pay for the food and cook for her rather than her going back on her word.

I agree, too soon to next. We'll see what happens.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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MacAvoy

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Very simple and I can't believe no ones mentioned this yet, but she has low interest. You've invested far too much into this plate, she was into you at first when you had other plates, but you chose to drop them all for this one and look where it has gotten you.

ps 21 yr olds have short attention spans and are not looking to settle down for the most part, sure some are, again, your mistake is putting too much into this plate.
 
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Well, I sort of dumped her today. Not offically, because it was via text message, but here's what happened.

She came over last night and we went out to dinner. She started giving me a hard time because I haven't bought flowers yet WTF, what does she think am, AFC?

Then we came back to my place and hanged for a few hours. She started drinking (as usual) AND THEN LEFT @ 2 in the morning. That really ticked me off. She BETTER have been on the rag or something, because that is inexcusable. I have known her about a month, so it's very possible it was that time. But still, she could have just said something instead of leaving like that. Who knows.

I already told her once that she is NOT to drink and drive from my house, and she did it again.

So I called her today ONCE and she didn't answer the phone. Then I sent her a text saying "since you keep ruining things, I'm breaking up with you."

Haven't heard from her and don't care. And not caring is a great feeling, I have become immune to these women and the sick games they play. I deleted her # so I don't get tempted to contact her again.

Looks like I won't be buying any stupid gifts this week, but I'm almost sure I'll be hearing from her again. What should I say when she calls/texts?
 
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Play the Game

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We must, let it never be forgotten, judge a man by his actions rather than by his words.

-The Mask of Sanity


Your "gf" seems to show some psychopathic traits. I'd watch out.
 
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Play the Game said:
We must, let it never be forgotten, judge a man by his actions rather than by his words.

-The Mask of Sanity


Your "gf" seems to show some psychopathic traits. I'd watch out.

Psycho eh? Wouldn't surprise me, what about her actions qualify her "psycho"?

I was just thinking selfish and immature. We'll see if she tries to contact me today that will speak volumes.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Infamous J

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Well let this be a lesson to you--listen to your fellow DJs, most of which were telling you to next her, rather than trying to rationalize keeping her around for the entire thread:

"Most women act this way...nobody is perfect...too soon to next...she is broke..."

Come on man, you have 1k+ posts, you should have sniffed this out a long time ago.
 
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Can you believe she was giving me a hard time at dinner because I haven't bought her stuff yet? What-the-hell.

She was like "I can't believe you haven't bought me anything like flowers yet"...

Go jump off a bridge lady.
 

everywomanshero

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Dude here is what I think happened, you treated her like a gf when she should've been a FB at this point. Second you allowed your emotions to cloud your judgement.

1st of all props for not just showing up at some place for breakfast. everytime I am out with women at a nice place, there is some dumbass sitting there waiting for a girl who never shows up. lol.

2nd I wouldn't worry about what she does once she leaves your place. This clearly should've been a FB. Once she stepped out the door, your worries should've ended then and there. With FBs I don't care what they do when they are out of my sight, I have enough to worry about managing my own life.

3rd if you really wanted to change this behavior, I would try to do so a little more tactfully, although THIS IS amussing and I am sure you're having a good laugh too :) *****ing about the showing up without food is really funny, and I thought I was picky!
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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My Name is Nobody said:
...I was just thinking selfish and immature....
SHE'S 21!!! Oh, that's what you said...
 
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I feel great because I don't care if I never hear from this girl again! I feel I've reached the next level in becoming a DJ.
Before, this would have been bugging me to death but I don't feel bad at all.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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