Wife doing 180 to save marriage

mrgoodstuff

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Don't you think romoving yourself from the triangution aka cheating etc won't make her suffer? It's better than hardball. She left with no options, there's no one to play the drama..the guy could leave her anytime not so long after you left or cheat with another man's wife.. Like you have advised to me before.. 'greyrock' from my bpd thread not so long ago eh?
Yea pulling from the triangle puts all the stress on the other guy. And it makes it not so fun... When you move on with a new sexy babe its a sobering reality for her shytty behavior.
 

Focal core

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This reminds me when I was young and naive, my 1st ever gf since college of 2 years decided to abruptly dump me for another guy, I left, but it was a huge emotional toll thaf I have to endure..the drama she started to make the dump legitimate was a complete mess, Not long after that guy left her and she's now married to a beta provider.

A guy who interested To another man's women will left as soon he get the hold of the women and find another, its a vicious cycle of a narcissist or a nut job. It's all about the chase.. The Chase--not the capture. The moment they sense you're hopelessly hooked, they lose interest, and their distancing and acting-out behaviors begin.
 

StayOrGo?

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So you're here to seek approval from other men to go cheating and not actually trying to actively save ur marriage?
I don't agree. I am here to get advice. When the advice provided (yours specifically) requires more work than I desire to put in, I don't think you can say I'm not trying to save my marriage because I've chosen not to follow your advice. I am willing to take certain steps to save my marriage. Not all steps. And the fact that I'm not willing to take all steps doesn't mean I'm here to seek approval to go cheating.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I don't agree. I am here to get advice. When the advice provided (yours specifically) requires more work than I desire to put in, I don't think you can say I'm not trying to save my marriage because I've chosen not to follow your advice. I am willing to take certain steps to save my marriage. Not all steps. And the fact that I'm not willing to take all steps doesn't mean I'm here to seek approval to go cheating.
Consult a professional ( marriage counselor ). Also lawyers tend to be pros at interpersonal i interactions and all the details. So a lawyer friend can help you to strategize your "negotiations". This is a common "deadlock" in relationships. Someone must be really good at navigating this situation, which finishes most relationships.
 

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rando5495

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Not (can't be) been in that situation, but I remember looking at the very early Rollo blog posts, which were the same chapters as his initial rational male book, and seeing a fair few cases like this. Interesting to read and might want to check out that old stuff.
 

Spaz

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When the advice provided (yours specifically) requires more work than I desire to put in, I don't think you can say I'm not trying to save my marriage because I've chosen not to follow your advice.
My advice centers on cultivating ur leadership role as a man and also as the head of ur family unit.

But I shall respect ur decision, this is after all your choice.
 

Spaz

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An 'open letter' to everyone who posted in this thread.

I personally find this thread very disturbing and I sincerely hope the words posted in the last few days is not the general sentiment of the forum.

I believe in taking responsibility, it's very much central to my being or if you like my default setting. As it should be for every men here.

As men, we are automatically the head of our own family unit (or relationships), this I believe everyone naturally agrees.

But oftentimes when the family unit breaks down, as the leader, instead of taking responsibility for it and then take steps to rectify the situation, we end up blaming the wife or women in our life.

It's a contradiction, a leader but yet not wanting to lead.

And it seems like the entire forum shamelessly jumps on the bandwagon to lay the blame entirely on the women.

Do we really think the husband or boyfriend is blameless when he doesn't exercise his god given duty to lead?
 

lamath

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An 'open letter' to everyone who posted in this thread.

I personally find this thread very disturbing and I sincerely hope the words posted in the last few days is not the general sentiment of the forum.

I believe in taking responsibility, it's very much central to my being or if you like my default setting. As it should be for every men here.

As men, we are automatically the head of our own family unit (or relationships), this I believe everyone naturally agrees.

But oftentimes when the family unit breaks down, as the leader, instead of taking responsibility for it and then take steps to rectify the situation, we end up blaming the wife or women in our life.

It's a contradiction, a leader but yet not wanting to lead.

And it seems like the entire forum shamelessly jumps on the bandwagon to lay the blame entirely on the women.

Do we really think the husband or boyfriend is blameless when he doesn't exercise his god given duty to lead?
There is always 2 side and if for example your wife treat you bad its your fault for letting it happen.
No one is forcing a man to stay.
 

redskinsfan92

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An 'open letter' to everyone who posted in this thread.

I personally find this thread very disturbing and I sincerely hope the words posted in the last few days is not the general sentiment of the forum.

I believe in taking responsibility, it's very much central to my being or if you like my default setting. As it should be for every men here.

As men, we are automatically the head of our own family unit (or relationships), this I believe everyone naturally agrees.

But oftentimes when the family unit breaks down, as the leader, instead of taking responsibility for it and then take steps to rectify the situation, we end up blaming the wife or women in our life.

It's a contradiction, a leader but yet not wanting to lead.

And it seems like the entire forum shamelessly jumps on the bandwagon to lay the blame entirely on the women.

Do we really think the husband or boyfriend is blameless when he doesn't exercise his god given duty to lead?
Fair point
 

rando5495

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Not (can't be) been in that situation, but I remember looking at the very early Rollo blog posts, which were the same chapters as his initial rational male book, and seeing a fair few cases like this. Interesting to read and might want to check out that old stuff.
I meant the comments sections btw.

Better reading that stuff through the blog because of the comments imo. Each book chapter was originally a blog post iirc. There were quite a few guys who became game-aware after being married, and those posts were usually very interesting.
 

StayOrGo?

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An 'open letter' to everyone who posted in this thread.

I personally find this thread very disturbing and I sincerely hope the words posted in the last few days is not the general sentiment of the forum.

I believe in taking responsibility, it's very much central to my being or if you like my default setting. As it should be for every men here.

As men, we are automatically the head of our own family unit (or relationships), this I believe everyone naturally agrees.

But oftentimes when the family unit breaks down, as the leader, instead of taking responsibility for it and then take steps to rectify the situation, we end up blaming the wife or women in our life.

It's a contradiction, a leader but yet not wanting to lead.

And it seems like the entire forum shamelessly jumps on the bandwagon to lay the blame entirely on the women.

Do we really think the husband or boyfriend is blameless when he doesn't exercise his god given duty to lead?
I assume your disturbed state is mainly directed at me since I was the (only) person in this thread who didn't exercise his "god given duty to lead." My lack of desire to organize a family picnic with military precision is not a failure to "lead" as you seem to imply. There are lots of ways to lead a family. Your suggestion is not the only way. For the record, I have certainly failed to lead in a variety of other ways (sleeping arrangements, tolerating a sexless marriage, etc...). But failure to organize a family picnic is not high on my list of failures.
 
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Spaz

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I assume your disturbed state is mainly directed at me since I was the (only) person in this thread who didn't exercise his "god given duty to lead." My lack of desire to organize a family picnic with military precision is not a failure to "lead" as you seem to imply. There are lots of ways to lead a family. Your suggestion is not the only way. For the record, I have certainly failed to lead in a variety of other ways (sleeping arrangements, tolerating a sexless marriage, etc...). But failure to organize a family picnic is not high on my list of failures.
You assumed wrongly.

It was directed to the senior members here and by right should know better.
 

honeyshark

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I’ve been dating/married to my wife for 20 years. I got red pill awoke about 6 months ago and had a ton of anger and resentment. I used the last six months to get in shape, learn about game and prepare for the SMP. Yesterday, I confronted my wife about our sexless, affectionless relationship and she is doing a 180 to fix things. Now I’m torn. Do I try and fix things? My SMV is high and I can def get a younger, hotter girl now. But I do love (yes I’m still a blue pill beta loser) my wife and our family. Thoughts?
Try and fix things. Love does not make you a loser, it makes you a complete human being.
 
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