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Why Relationships Fail

Romanemp22

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actually guys are buying the old car With a lot of mileage because their lack of options , which more or less is due to them not really wanting to make a progress in anything that is worthwhile in life

it is not about that they do not want the lambo , it is about them not doing everything possible to get what they truly want . They do not have a purpose

till recently the purpose of the guy was to put food on the table for the family , since feminism kicked in it is not really needed for the guy to put food in the table . They remained without a purpose
Good comparison. Feminism is really fvcking up traditional values.
 

B80

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Never looked too deep into it, but interested in reading more about how until recent changes male/female relationships and families operated and were structured for centuries.

Men provider's, hunter gatherers whilst women raised kids... typically anyway for centuries? Women less likely to stray or the whole 'hypergamy' always been in full force from day 1?
 

Bigpapa

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Never looked too deep into it, but interested in reading more about how until recent changes male/female relationships and families operated and were structured for centuries.

Men provider's, hunter gatherers whilst women raised kids... typically anyway for centuries? Women less likely to stray or the whole 'hypergamy' always been in full force from day 1?
Most likely it is from day 1

mail men after the 2nd world war were getting laid a lot , mainly because women were staying home all day and they were board
 

stringpuller

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Love is a sales tactic. Marriage is a exchange of resources. It wasn't about love. This is a con job. Relationships end because of the expectations of something can't possibly provide what is being sold. When you now evaluate the dumpster fire that is the sexual market place and you have the equivalent of a degenerate used car lot selling a beater for the price of a Lambo. Morons are still buying trash.
The relationship DEE is the sum of both the people in it. Were men are failing is not holding their end as they should. Self respect, frame and accountability.
I agree it is about resources and it always has been. That doesn't necessarily mean they are all bad.

The best thing for a man in a relationship is have fun. Be happy and hold your self respect in tact and be selfish about those things. Tell her what to do and keep the sexxs good
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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The relationship DEE is the sum of both the people in it. Were men are failing is not holding their end as they should. Self respect, frame and accountability.
I agree it is about resources and it always has been. That doesn't necessarily mean they are all bad.

The best thing for a man in a relationship is have fun. Be happy and hold your self respect in tact and be selfish about those things. Tell her what to do and keep the sexxs good
I don't doubt DJs acknowledge that importance of resources especially for family and long term. The issue I see is that, the exchange is sifting through a dumpster fire and concessions in the form of a reformed found Jesus after best yrs. Gtfo! I think that you wheeled a woman who has qualities lacking in the western world. Big up's!

I Don't disagree with you that dudes are dropping the ball. I am not seeing female accountability and the equivalent of a female dhv beyond sex. The attention whoring is comical given the trajectory of fertility and smv death.

It's been sixty years of girl power and yo go girl. Affirmative action. Women have absolutely high kills and no value offered beyond busting a nut. The idea of staking lifetime on any particular woman after her best is laughable.

You said it. Have fun. Rooshv spoke about the entertainment elements but women are seeking the dopamine spike of attention, social media and male attention. The trick is spiking and pulling back. Volume. Pull or next. Repeat.
 

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Bigpapa

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I don't doubt DJs acknowledge that importance of resources especially for family and long term. The issue I see is that, the exchange is sifting through a dumpster fire and concessions in the form of a reformed found Jesus after best yrs. Gtfo! I think that you wheeled a woman who has qualities lacking in the western world. Big up's!

I Don't disagree with you that dudes are dropping the ball. I am not seeing female accountability and the equivalent of a female dhv beyond sex. The attention whoring is comical given the trajectory of fertility and smv death.

It's been sixty years of girl power and yo go girl. Affirmative action. Women have absolutely high kills and no value offered beyond busting a nut. The idea of staking lifetime on any particular woman after her best is laughable.

You said it. Have fun. Rooshv spoke about the entertainment elements but women are seeking the dopamine spike of attention, social media and male attention. The trick is spiking and pulling back. Volume. Pull or next. Repeat.
but again , this happens mainly because also men are ok with it :)

I have seen a lot of bad behavior that is not punished by guys in relationships , and women only understand that they can do whatever they want with no consequences

if you add also the simps that would do anything to get some actions , you have a Molotov ****tail that blown in the face of men

but again , men put themselves in this position

even here , I feel a lot of guys who type that are super brave and so on , but I am quite sure that they actually would do anything for some action , including things that they say they would never do
 

stringpuller

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The idea of staking lifetime on any particular woman after her best is laughable.
So grandma is a piece of shyt? Hoe old are you bro?
You will get there.
For secs maybe? Yes the west is fvked up but you can't train these girls too. Just don't marry them
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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So grandma is a piece of shyt? Hoe old are you bro?
You will get there.
For secs maybe? Yes the west is fvked up but you can't train these girls too. Just don't marry them
There was a BTT podcast. Dude is a ex stripper. Broke down the dynamics. Bachelorette party is a deal breaker. The majority of women who have been cheat.
 
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This sounds like something a cuckold would say, no man with self respect has this sort of mentality.
oh come one george pith, its not cuckoldry unless you are married or live with her or any other situation where you have to endure or watch it happen in your face , and then at that point its pretty much psychological and mental castration.
 

rjc149

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Relationships fail because attraction falls. Since we're mainly guys here, I'll focus on our end, and her attraction to us.

Game in long-term relationships is striking a balance between being sexually attractive and emotionally available. Being too "alpha" tends to emotionally alienate women. Being too emotionally available tends to turn them off sexually.

Most of the dating advice herein is focused on short-term pickup, hence, the preference here is heavily skewed to being "alpha" and "being dominant" and "holding frame" and "never ever doing x with a girl" and "never ever saying y to a girl" etc.

Little advice here deals with the inevitable, inescapable fact that women leave alphas for betas all the time when the beta offers her emotional validation and closeness that is so frowned-upon in red pill "alpha male" circles.

Giving your LTR the highest chance of success will require you to be both -- to satisfy the duality of female mating strategy. The best way to do that, the ideal balance, depends on the individual woman you are dating. Generally speaking, it's maintaining a masculine leadership role in the relationship, while also being emotionally nurturing.
 

TheFinalLine

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Women have a dualistic sexual strategy that is biologically ingrained.
you are going to have to re-design the entire paradigm of relationships. I don’t believe that a relationship with healthy sex and daily intimacy and respect is possible in the existing frame. It’s an unworkable fallacy. It’s the wrong model. It’s a social construct
 

rjc149

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Women have a dualistic sexual strategy that is biologically ingrained.
you are going to have to re-design the entire paradigm of relationships. I don’t believe that a relationship with healthy sex and daily intimacy and respect is possible in the existing frame. It’s an unworkable fallacy. It’s the wrong model. It’s a social construct
I think that's a bleak outlook on relationships. Which are, admittedly, impossible to keep fresh over a longer period of time --if by "healthy" sex, you mean "exciting" "hot" etc. then yes, that cannot be maintained over a long period of time, as all human beings are biologically polygamous. Men, moreso than women, are more excited by sexual variety.

If we're going with the Rational Male's position of dual female mating strategy, than the straightforward solution is to satisfy both sides by being a blend of 'alpha' and 'beta.' It's possible to maintain her respect for you as a man, while offering her the intimacy and emotional validation she needs, and maintaining a sex life -- though that sex life isn't going to be hot bl0wj0bs in a nightclub bathroom from your wife of 15 years.

The other thing to keep in mind is that we all eventually age, shrivel, and die. So, regardless of what you mean by "healthy sex" -- that ends too. Whether by monotony or the organic degradation and decay of our bodies, sex with a monogamous partner inevitably becomes less interesting. That's the price we pay for emotional intimacy and security with a partner -- the sex, while frequent and readily available, is less and less interesting.

But for many, that's a price worth paying. As John Mellencamp wrote, "life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone." Once your d!ck stops working, and it will, do you still want to be single? Almost no one does.
 

TheFinalLine

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I think that's a bleak outlook on relationships. Which are, admittedly, impossible to keep fresh over a longer period of time --if by "healthy" sex, you mean "exciting" "hot" etc. then yes, that cannot be maintained over a long period of time, as all human beings are biologically polygamous. Men, moreso than women, are more excited by sexual variety.

If we're going with the Rational Male's position of dual female mating strategy, than the straightforward solution is to satisfy both sides by being a blend of 'alpha' and 'beta.' It's possible to maintain her respect for you as a man, while offering her the intimacy and emotional validation she needs, and maintaining a sex life -- though that sex life isn't going to be hot bl0wj0bs in a nightclub bathroom from your wife of 15 years.

The other thing to keep in mind is that we all eventually age, shrivel, and die. So, regardless of what you mean by "healthy sex" -- that ends too. Whether by monotony or the organic degradation and decay of our bodies, sex with a monogamous partner inevitably becomes less interesting. That's the price we pay for emotional intimacy and security with a partner -- the sex, while frequent and readily available, is less and less interesting.

But for many, that's a price worth paying. As John Mellencamp wrote, "life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone." Once your d!ck stops working, and it will, do you still want to be single? Almost no one does.
It’s all a choice. What I wrote is not bleak to me. Not even a little bit. No matter how tough something is to confront, confronting it is wisdom obtained.

Now if you said a man having more than one wife is more workable, I would agree. The only real tool a man has is keeping a woman under competition. I wish it wasn’t so. But it is.
 

rjc149

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The only real tool a man has is keeping a woman under competition. I wish it wasn’t so. But it is.
How does that work for a couple in their 50's and beyond? It is actually possible for a long-married, middle-aged couple to be happily married.

Most pickup advice myopically focuses on picking up very attractive women at nightlife venues -- low-quality, high-maintenance, validation *****s who often do need to be manipulated in order to open a brief window of opportunity into their pants. Most red pill literature seems to totally ignore the 75% of women who aren't in elite echelons of attractiveness, who are not out at bars at 2AM every weekend night shooting men down for kicks, who are not able to or willing to pursue open hypergamy.

While I agree that dating very attractive young women tends to be a temporary, no-win situation for the overwhelming majority of men, it's important to keep some perspective here. I wouldn't write off romantic, emotionally fulfilling monogamous relationships -- at the right time in one's life -- just because the hot early 20-something girls have all the cards and can get away with being total cvnts. There are plenty of genuinely good, attractive women out there who are worth dating. A woman's worth to society, and ability to be a good partner, goes beyond simply being aged 18-23.

The key is to focus on making yourself optimally, and genuinely attractive, not learning how to game women to make them optimally attracted to you.
 

TheFinalLine

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How does that work for a couple in their 50's and beyond? It is actually possible for a long-married, middle-aged couple to be happily married.

Most pickup advice myopically focuses on picking up very attractive women at nightlife venues -- low-quality, high-maintenance, validation *****s who often do need to be manipulated in order to open a brief window of opportunity into their pants. Most red pill literature seems to totally ignore the 75% of women who aren't in elite echelons of attractiveness, who are not out at bars at 2AM every weekend night shooting men down for kicks, who are not able to or willing to pursue open hypergamy.

While I agree that dating very attractive young women tends to be a temporary, no-win situation for the overwhelming majority of men, it's important to keep some perspective here. I wouldn't write off romantic, emotionally fulfilling monogamous relationships -- at the right time in one's life -- just because the hot early 20-something girls have all the cards and can get away with being total cvnts. There are plenty of genuinely good, attractive women out there who are worth dating. A woman's worth to society, and ability to be a good partner, goes beyond simply being aged 18-23.

The key is to focus on making yourself optimally, and genuinely attractive, not learning how to game women to make them optimally attracted to you.
You do not nor did not have access to that marriage. No polygraphs. Nothing. What they fought about. When was the last time there was intimacy. You can’t just point out couples and think...”optimum”.

People smile socially but went through living hell. But you will never know these things. I say go find it and live it. Then let us know a few years down the road how it goes. I think a man needs to make his own decisions.
 

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TheFinalLine

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The key is to focus on making yourself optimally, and genuinely attractive, not learning how to game women to make them optimally attracted to you.
I agree with this but for different reasons. It’s still to obtain a woman to live out a long term social construct idea. That’s the wrong model.

Men are suppose to do these things because that’s what men do. By optimizing your potentialities, that in itself is attractive to women but it can never be the intent. Just a natural result.

All game and optimizations are out the window when commitment is made. Some here have said you have to game a woman the rest of your relationship. Yeah well that’s crap. Pure hogwash. A woman stays with you because you are her best option. Her dualistic sexual strategy goes in full force with your commitment. She can form her own workarounds but it never leaves her.

the mere act of you committing activates it. In her biological mind, you substandard’d yourself. When you fully understand the nature of a woman, it’s clear as day light. But most men have to find that out in the hell fires.
 

rjc149

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A woman stays with you because you are her best option.
Yes, this is true. But being her best option doesn't mean keeping her guessing, rubbing competition in her face, gaming her with all this toxic red pill "alpha male" bullsh!t that I think you've been consuming a bit too much of.

Being her best option is being your best self, but also, being the best partner to her you can be. Many women stay in relationships with men who provide a secure, emotionally validating base for them, despite ample opportunities to "upgrade" to a more attractive guy (taller, better-looking, wealthier etc.).

The red pill chooses instead to focus on the sh!tty women in top tiers of SMV who are always trying to level up, and then design a dictum of "rules" around those women and regard it as gospel.

Everyone in LTR's, men and women, attractive or not, will find themselves attracted to other people. This isn't some insidious trait that only women indulge in. It's only human. And women too are able to nevertheless remain faithful to their long-term partner, because of the emotional bond between them. Believe it or not.
 

Lookatu

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Generally speaking, it's maintaining a masculine leadership role in the relationship, while also being emotionally nurturing.
Remember the above gents.

I've been married for 14 years and with my woman for 19 years total. I don't need anyone to tell me what I have experienced and noticed, especially those without actual experiences.

Balancing the Alpha and Beta are the key to long term success. If you are naturally selfish or a narcissist, the odds are stacked against you I'm afraid. Also look in the mirror often and make sure you are looking at the situation between your girl with an objective lense.

They say females are like kids. Yes they are(having 3 myself). You have to always provide the leadership, guidance, discipline while being able to nurture them and part of that is listening and being empathetic.
 

EyeBRollin

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My take on successful adult relationships-

People need to be objective about their position in the market. Women have beauty & men have money. Hypergamy is inevitable. Fitness and style are a given. Maximize them. General personal goal and guide, converting your annual income to SMV:

1 million+ —> 10
$250K ——> 9
$100K ——-> 8
$80K ——> 7
$60k —> 6
$50k ——> 5
<$50k —-> stop dating and raise your income

Adjust for height —

6’ to 6’5 add 1 point to SMV
5’6 or shorter subtract 1 point from SMV

That should get you a decent gauge to what kind of women you can select on the dating field.

Man should pick a woman a point below his SMV. That means don’t date 10s. 2 points is even better for maximum effect. If 40 years of marriage is the goal, aim for 2 points. If you’re a 7 and want to get compliance from 7s, you better improve my friend. She’s gotta feel like you are better than her.
 
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