Why No Contact needs to be Sugar Free, not Sugar Coated

[Tilex]

There's an endless amount of advice online about the no contact rule, making guys believe there's a percentage of getting an ex back if they wait X amount of days.
I've even read advice saying ridiculous stuff like, if you wait 30 days of no contact, you have a 20% chance of getting her back.
But if you wait 60 days, you have a 40% chance of getting her back.
The longer you wait, the more higher the %


Do you know what this sounds like?

It sounds like Bankers or Hedge Fund Managers giving out seduction advice.
"Waiting X amount of days will give you X percentage returns on investment (ROI)"


Here's the truth:

When a woman breaks up with you, she already has a guy lined up and ready to replace you. She's emotionally checked out and her investment in you has permanently vanished.
You are not getting back with her 20, 30, 60, 90, or 365 days after she broke up with you.
You're in an uphill battle, except it's no longer just a hill to climb. It's a fvcking mountain!


Out of Sight, Out of Mind

The No Contact rule is designed to erase your ex from your memory.
There shouldn't be a variable number associated with the no contact rule because it makes people believe there are chances or possibilities in the future.
Personally, I have associated breakups equal to getting fired from a job. If you cannot go back to your job, then you should believe that you cannot go back to your ex.

 

[New_Journey]

I am not a fan of the so called "No Contact Rule" Many men use it as a cushion to wait for her, then they put their life on hold mor months hoping the rule will work.

If a man needs to use X to get Y, this is covert contract, never works, also if he needs that it means he hasn't internalize he is the prize. You know what I am a fan of? and it depends on the man and the type of relationship, being vulnerable, getting her to reject him until the pain is so unbearable that something in him awakens and say fvck it, this isn't worth it, then the No Contact Rule becomes, fvck this b!tch I can do better.

 

[Barrister]

The No Contact Rule is designed for men to get over the ex. Not win the ex back. If used correctly, it expedites men getting over the toxic ex and mentally being ready to move on much quicker. Doesn't mean it is easy.

Like anything, pvssy is like a drug that your brain likes and develops an attachment to. A clean break is what is needed to move on as quickly as possible. The problem for most men that are going through a breakup is that they become victims of exes "breadcrumbing" them after the breakup for extra validation. They do well with No Contact until the ex reaches out and then NC is out the window. They begin a discourse that ends in more frustration and the entire recovery process has to start back at zero. The key is to continue to ignore - and this can be very difficult at times.

 

[New_Journey]

They do well with No Contact until the ex reaches out and then NC is out the window.

Because they haven't been through enough pain to do it for them and not for her to come back. There is a point in a man (exceptions apply), when he's been through enough pain that something is his brain switches and he longer wants her, and then he starts to grow from that point.

 

[SW15]

The No Contact Rule is designed for men to get over the ex. Not win the ex back. If used correctly, it expedites men getting over the toxic ex and mentally being ready to move on much quicker. Doesn't mean it is easy.

Agree with this. Winback should never be a priority or even be a option. Always keep moving forward if an interaction fails. If an interaction fails, it failed for a good reason.

Like anything, pvssy is like a drug that your brain likes and develops an attachment to. A clean break is what is needed to move on as quickly as possible.

True

The problem for most men that are going through a breakup is that they become victims of exes "breadcrumbing" them after the breakup for extra validation. They do well with No Contact until the ex reaches out and then NC is out the window. They begin a discourse that ends in more frustration and the entire recovery process has to start back at zero. The key is to continue to ignore - and this can be very difficult at times.

It would be best if the ex never made contact with him again. Some ex-girlfriends are able to do this. Some are not.

If the ex does make contact, it is best to ignore.

It might be good to set the frame of no contact as the breakup is happening. This isn't a concept I've seen discussed much in any format over time.

 

[Hal9000]

When I went no contact it meant it was immediately and forever over. It wasn't some kind of ploy to get back some woman I had already broken up with at least once, and for many others multiple times. You go no contact to move on with your life, not as some kind of mind #### to convince some chick to return to your dysfunctional relationship. Those are the kind of games women play so do better.

 

[Gamisch]

No contact. Can any phrase be more clear? Yet we as men ( yours truly included ofcourse) mostly tried to use it as a manipulation tactic and geuss what...it works!! Women are delusional AF and always end up circling back to " you" because " you" probably are a decent dude with some flaws here and there nut other than that still quite decent overall. ..

BUT..you gotta be aware of the consequences. Getting a woman back after SHE felt like she could do better is like trying to fix a broken mirror and them complain that the reflection " isn't the same as it used to be"....* idiot sandwich alarm*

Nowadays I implement no contact REAL FAST, basically at the first sign of incoming BS . Needless to say that's most of the time.

No contact = no communication, no emailing, no phone calls, NO FAVORS, nada nothing, nietzj, kein, zero. The time wasted on such a woman by the way will also diminish your own aura.

 

[CoolWave1331]

If you're hoping that by making yourself scarce she'll come back that doesn't give me a lot of confidence in the second go around being any better. I would think there's a high probability the same issues would come up again.

If things end (for whatever reason) that signals to me the end of the relationship. It's not sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time but serious relationships aren't off and on. If the person really cares about you they'll never end things are use the threat as a sort of emotional blackmail.