"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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*** Who Is Your Fave Comedian ? ***

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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KarmaSutra

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Sam Kinison taught me everything I needed to know about life and interacting with women.

"You lying wh0re! You used me, you never loved me! I hope you slide uder a gas truck and taste your own blood. I want my records back, I WANT MY RECORDS BACK!"

I cried like a baby when he was taken away.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Rollo Tomassi

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Mitch Hedberg and Robin Harris - both dead now.
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
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Peter Kay because I can relate to everything he says.

Jim Gaffigan and Ricky Gervais follow closely behind.
 

shaunuk

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Lee Evans and Roy Chubby Brown are really good British comedians. As is Peter Kay like Jariel said but I find Peter's humour a bit too clean to be my favourite :)

-shaun
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Victory Unlimited

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Chris Rock: Because his standup routines are funny as hell, AND they always speak truths to the human condition at the same time.

and EQUALLY my favorite:

Rodney Dangerfield: Because just his comedic presence on stage can make you laugh long before he even opens his mouth. That guy oozed comedy from every pore...and his rapid fire "one liner" deliveries were always on point.

May he rest in peace...
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Victory Unlimited said:
Chris Rock: Because his standup routines are funny as hell, AND they always speak truths to the human condition at the same time...
+1 for Chris plus surprisingly, similar on the female side, Kathy Griffin is hillarious in person.
 

Rebound Material

Master Don Juan
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Rollo Tomassi said:
Mitch Hedberg and Robin Harris - both dead now.
Im with you on Mitch Hedberg. His delivery is one of a kind.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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i am me

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dane cook was the **** before he became a myspace ***** haha

mitch hedberg, chris rock and dave chappelle are all good...i like alotta random comedians on comedy central too but i cant remember their names
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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