"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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*** Who Is Your Fave Comedian ? ***

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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KarmaSutra

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Sam Kinison taught me everything I needed to know about life and interacting with women.

"You lying wh0re! You used me, you never loved me! I hope you slide uder a gas truck and taste your own blood. I want my records back, I WANT MY RECORDS BACK!"

I cried like a baby when he was taken away.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Rollo Tomassi

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Mitch Hedberg and Robin Harris - both dead now.
 

Jariel

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Peter Kay because I can relate to everything he says.

Jim Gaffigan and Ricky Gervais follow closely behind.
 

shaunuk

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Lee Evans and Roy Chubby Brown are really good British comedians. As is Peter Kay like Jariel said but I find Peter's humour a bit too clean to be my favourite :)

-shaun
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Victory Unlimited

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Chris Rock: Because his standup routines are funny as hell, AND they always speak truths to the human condition at the same time.

and EQUALLY my favorite:

Rodney Dangerfield: Because just his comedic presence on stage can make you laugh long before he even opens his mouth. That guy oozed comedy from every pore...and his rapid fire "one liner" deliveries were always on point.

May he rest in peace...
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Victory Unlimited said:
Chris Rock: Because his standup routines are funny as hell, AND they always speak truths to the human condition at the same time...
+1 for Chris plus surprisingly, similar on the female side, Kathy Griffin is hillarious in person.
 

Rebound Material

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Rollo Tomassi said:
Mitch Hedberg and Robin Harris - both dead now.
Im with you on Mitch Hedberg. His delivery is one of a kind.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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i am me

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dane cook was the **** before he became a myspace ***** haha

mitch hedberg, chris rock and dave chappelle are all good...i like alotta random comedians on comedy central too but i cant remember their names
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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