Focal core
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2017
- Messages
- 1,531
- Reaction score
- 1,203
- Age
- 46
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Participation trophies started with early 1980s births, so most 35-39 year olds were part of the whole participation trophy/self esteem boosting movement of parenting in the 1990s/early 2000s.The advantage of late thirties women is that there's still a chance they aren't part of the participation trophy generation and that they were raised properly
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Women in their late twenties usually rush new relationships towards marriage. It is also likely that they just got off long-term relationships for whatever reason.That said, I'll take a 28 year old first if she fits the bill.
This is usually baby rabies, I would run from that too.Women in their late twenties usually rush new relationships towards marriage. It is also likely that they just got off long-term relationships for whatever reason.
These women will unashamedly chase you if they want you. They scare me, to be honest.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
But with any investment, expected returns need to be gauged against risk. What if you spent all of 2018 and 2019 working on yourself and then 2020 hits with Covid and you can't get laid due to widespread skittish pu$sy? What if something similar happens? You can't just assume continuity of society. As an anecdotal aside, my Dad has said that what went on in the 1960's pales in comparison to the chaos and disruption on modern times.Instead of worrying about women, lets worry about YOU. What should your priorities be approaching 40 and in the 40's? Having the priorities right, especially when it pertains to women is MORE ATTRACTIVE and it keeps your ship from getting sunk!
I was born in the first half of the 1980s and there was a focus in the 1990s upon building self-esteem and coddling in the educational and social circles I was in during childhood.not sure where you’re from but I was early 80s and it most certainly wasn’t like that for me. I think this really is evident in people currently under 30. Most people around late 30s there is a real difference
For an LTR?Whats the criteria you seek in women?
For myself.
1. Women at nearing 40 years of age possibly in their late 30's
2. Aging gracefully.
3. Emotionally stable.
4. Are still in shape
5. Financially resilience in manner of should have less debt. At her age.
Might be look like this..
I can agree on that too and your bullet points. Pretty much the same for me too.For an LTR?
1.) No kids or grown kids
2.) No financial wrecks, she has to pull her own weight
3.) Feminine, not feminist
4.) Doesnt require me to correct her behaviour all the time to stay in line. If i wanted a dog, id get one.
5.) Attractive and sane
6.) Takes good care of my dyck
7.) Accepts that marriage is out of the question
8.) Makes my life easier, not harder
And women in their late 30's don't chase??Women in their late twenties usually rush new relationships towards marriage. It is also likely that they just got off long-term relationships for whatever reason.
These women will unashamedly chase you if they want you. They scare me, to be honest.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I am a United States resident and was raised in the United States. I was in suburbs of major cities during a large part of my childhood.SW15 is that London? I can imagine - either if you’re middle class, if went on a lot in these circles. Or, if you weren’t middle class and had one of those trendy labour councils full of this nonsense.
I was outside of London in a standard comp and school was dog eat dog and the teachers did nothing. My parents definitely didn’t have the “well-being first” vibe. If anything most me/friends parents just wanted the kids out the house so they could drink and watch telly.