Focal core
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2017
- Messages
- 1,531
- Reaction score
- 1,203
- Age
- 46
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Participation trophies started with early 1980s births, so most 35-39 year olds were part of the whole participation trophy/self esteem boosting movement of parenting in the 1990s/early 2000s.The advantage of late thirties women is that there's still a chance they aren't part of the participation trophy generation and that they were raised properly
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Women in their late twenties usually rush new relationships towards marriage. It is also likely that they just got off long-term relationships for whatever reason.That said, I'll take a 28 year old first if she fits the bill.
This is usually baby rabies, I would run from that too.Women in their late twenties usually rush new relationships towards marriage. It is also likely that they just got off long-term relationships for whatever reason.
These women will unashamedly chase you if they want you. They scare me, to be honest.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
But with any investment, expected returns need to be gauged against risk. What if you spent all of 2018 and 2019 working on yourself and then 2020 hits with Covid and you can't get laid due to widespread skittish pu$sy? What if something similar happens? You can't just assume continuity of society. As an anecdotal aside, my Dad has said that what went on in the 1960's pales in comparison to the chaos and disruption on modern times.Instead of worrying about women, lets worry about YOU. What should your priorities be approaching 40 and in the 40's? Having the priorities right, especially when it pertains to women is MORE ATTRACTIVE and it keeps your ship from getting sunk!
I was born in the first half of the 1980s and there was a focus in the 1990s upon building self-esteem and coddling in the educational and social circles I was in during childhood.not sure where you’re from but I was early 80s and it most certainly wasn’t like that for me. I think this really is evident in people currently under 30. Most people around late 30s there is a real difference
For an LTR?Whats the criteria you seek in women?
For myself.
1. Women at nearing 40 years of age possibly in their late 30's
2. Aging gracefully.
3. Emotionally stable.
4. Are still in shape
5. Financially resilience in manner of should have less debt. At her age.
Might be look like this..
I can agree on that too and your bullet points. Pretty much the same for me too.For an LTR?
1.) No kids or grown kids
2.) No financial wrecks, she has to pull her own weight
3.) Feminine, not feminist
4.) Doesnt require me to correct her behaviour all the time to stay in line. If i wanted a dog, id get one.
5.) Attractive and sane
6.) Takes good care of my dyck
7.) Accepts that marriage is out of the question
8.) Makes my life easier, not harder
And women in their late 30's don't chase??Women in their late twenties usually rush new relationships towards marriage. It is also likely that they just got off long-term relationships for whatever reason.
These women will unashamedly chase you if they want you. They scare me, to be honest.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I am a United States resident and was raised in the United States. I was in suburbs of major cities during a large part of my childhood.SW15 is that London? I can imagine - either if you’re middle class, if went on a lot in these circles. Or, if you weren’t middle class and had one of those trendy labour councils full of this nonsense.
I was outside of London in a standard comp and school was dog eat dog and the teachers did nothing. My parents definitely didn’t have the “well-being first” vibe. If anything most me/friends parents just wanted the kids out the house so they could drink and watch telly.