When Your Wife Lies to You...

[Bigpapa]

Over the years, I had sex with three married women who wanted me to impregnate them.

Exactly my point, “ 3 over the years”

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Exactly my point, “ 3 over the years”

Yes, the other thirty didn't want bastard babies, just bastard sex.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Okay so time to update.

MM: do you have anything you want me to know?
Wife(W): I dont know what you're getting at.
MM: Have you deleted your Instagram?
W: (looking semi-caught) No.
MM: When is the last time you logged in?
W: Earlier today.
MM: What were you on there for?
W: I needed school resources (our daughter is homeschooled by her) and found one or two things that I could use for the gym.
MM: How often are you going on IG?
W: not very much, but when I need things for T's(daughter's) school.
MM: Why did you not delete your IG when I asked you to? You said it would take a month to transfer information and it's been 4.
W: I needed more information for this year.
MM: And you didn't think telling me that up front would land better than me finding out on my own..?

(insert argument here)

W: (in tears) Did you come home to find reasons to divorce me?
MM: No. I came home with hopes you were going to give me reasons to stay.
W: (with more tears) Are you seeing/looking for anyone else?
MM: No, but it would be nice. The way you're handling these things makes me want to.
W: (not as many tears) IDK how to make you want to stay. You only tell me I'm pretty when I'm blowing you or we're f*cking.
MM: ...
MM: It's when you look prettiest. I need to be able to trust you.
W: Do you want me to delete my IG?
MM: Do what you want with it. I don't care about your IG, I care that you didn't follow through on your promise and left me to find out on my own. (true)
W: ...
MM: ...
MM: *walks into office to do school*

(15 minutes go by)

W: *comes in and kisses me on the forehead before taking our daughter to gymnastics* (she rarely does this).
W: Goodbye.
MM: Bye.

We'll see what happens when they get back in like 5 hours.

 

[Bigpapa]

Yes, the other thirty didn't want bastard babies, just bastard sex.

Again, exactly my point

 

[Money & Muscle]

Okay so time to update.

MM: do you have anything you want me to know?
Wife(W): I dont know what you're getting at.
MM: Have you deleted your Instagram?
W: (looking semi-caught) No.
MM: When is the last time you logged in?
W: Earlier today.
MM: What were you on there for?
W: I needed school resources (our daughter is homeschooled by her) and found one or two things that I could use for the gym.
MM: How often are you going on IG?
W: not very much, but when I need things for T's(daughter's) school.
MM: Why did you not delete your IG when I asked you to? You said it would take a month to transfer information and it's been 4.
W: I needed more information for this year.
MM: And you didn't think telling me that up front would land better than me finding out on my own..?

(insert argument here)

W: (in tears) Did you come home to find reasons to divorce me?
MM: No. I came home with hopes you were going to give me reasons to stay.
W: (with more tears) Are you seeing/looking for anyone else?
MM: No, but it would be nice. The way you're handling these things makes me want to.
W: (not as many tears) IDK how to make you want to stay. You only tell me I'm pretty when I'm blowing you or we're f*cking.
MM: ...
MM: It's when you look prettiest. I need to be able to trust you.
W: Do you want me to delete my IG?
MM: Do what you want with it. I don't care about your IG, I care that you didn't follow through on your promise and left me to find out on my own. (true)
W: ...
MM: ...
MM: *walks into office to do school*

(15 minutes go by)

W: *comes in and kisses me on the forehead before taking our daughter to gymnastics* (she rarely does this).
W: Goodbye.
MM: Bye.

We'll see what happens when they get back in like 5 hours.

I don't give a f*ck what she was on IG for and I dont really care about her IG anymore. I do care that she never lies to me, or does whatever *this* thing is again.

The boundary is set and she's gone if she crosses it.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The boundary is set and she's gone if she crosses it.

make sure you stomp your boot when you demand her compliance

 

[Money & Muscle]

make sure you stomp your boot when you demand her compliance

Do I do it like at the exact same time, or maybe like a little after I demand it?

Should I announce that I'm putting my foot down as I do it?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Do I do it like at the exact same time, or maybe like a little after I demand it?

Should I announce that I'm putting my foot down as I do it?

Yes. No.
Of course.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

How would you approach this situation?

I was in a comparable situation with my wife for 3 times by now.

What some might interprete as "overreaction", i guess is the result of a build up of several actions/shortcomings/toeing the border from her side of what is acceptable for you that lead to your mindset of being ready to walk away over this IG thing.

I know i didnt jump from everything is fine to "divorce NOW!" There is most likely a history that led you to the point from bluepilled hubby to be ready to walk away if she acts up.

From what i have read in this thread, i believe that you are ready to walk and thats exactly what SHE has to believe.

In my case, my wife took the "hit" and adapted her behaviour to my wishes.

That said, i DO NOT trust her anymore ....... her doing what i want doesnt mean she wouldnt do it if she thought she could get away with it.

She will behave as long as she thinks its in her best interest and not because its the right thing to do.

Its quite an unromantic busines but if you want to keep this marriage going (for the sake of the kids or whatever), you will have to be on guard all the time and crack down on your wife whenever she steps out of your frame.

Astonishingly, it kept her pvssy wet for me and if anything she wanted more sex from me each time i put her in place.

Thats what kept my marriage going and it might be what it takes to keep yours running.

Be aware, the stripes of a tiger dont wash away.


PS: in her mind, she didnt lie to you...... it is HER "truth", she really makes herself believe she is righteous and did nothing wrong

 

[EyeBRollin]

It doesn’t sound like she is afraid of you leaving, OP. She just doesn’t respect you as much as a wife needs to.

Men, this fear must exist from the beginning. You can’t “create” it in her.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

If you feel like Tinder is IG then she should probably know that, you really have to recognize you aren't just interacting with her but also her friends/social circle, she's gonna take to heart their suggestions just as you took to heart that IG is similar to Tinder, except if you don't explain that then the narrative is gonna he "He doesn't want me on IG" which isn't gonna bode well for you in the long run, they'll be planting bugs in her ear at every turn and then you'll be the "you can't see your friends guy" which is exactly how that plays out, it's a slippery slope.

Shes gotta understand your rationale. Also, I would agree, your already in a marriage where your not holding frame, the red pill content is just gonna create problems for you, that isn't who she married, meaning your gonna have to red pill her if that's what you want which isn't unheard of but yeah

 

[Money & Muscle]

It doesn’t sound like she is afraid of you leaving, OP. She just doesn’t respect you as much as a wife needs to.

Men, this fear must exist from the beginning. You can’t “create” it in her.

Partially agree, and firmly agree.

As for creating that fear, it's a Dread concept and I'm working on it.

 

[Money & Muscle]

your gonna have to red pill her if that's what you want which isn't unheard of

I'm in the process of doing that now.

I'm somewhat expecting a main event here soon.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Okay so time to update.

MM: do you have anything you want me to know?
Wife(W): I dont know what you're getting at.
MM: Have you deleted your Instagram?
W: (looking semi-caught) No.
MM: When is the last time you logged in?
W: Earlier today.
MM: What were you on there for?
W: I needed school resources (our daughter is homeschooled by her) and found one or two things that I could use for the gym.
MM: How often are you going on IG?
W: not very much, but when I need things for T's(daughter's) school.
MM: Why did you not delete your IG when I asked you to? You said it would take a month to transfer information and it's been 4.
W: I needed more information for this year.
MM: And you didn't think telling me that up front would land better than me finding out on my own..?

(insert argument here)

W: (in tears) Did you come home to find reasons to divorce me?
MM: No. I came home with hopes you were going to give me reasons to stay.
W: (with more tears) Are you seeing/looking for anyone else?
MM: No, but it would be nice. The way you're handling these things makes me want to.
W: (not as many tears) IDK how to make you want to stay. You only tell me I'm pretty when I'm blowing you or we're f*cking.
MM: ...
MM: It's when you look prettiest. I need to be able to trust you.
W: Do you want me to delete my IG?
MM: Do what you want with it. I don't care about your IG, I care that you didn't follow through on your promise and left me to find out on my own. (true)
W: ...
MM: ...
MM: *walks into office to do school*

(15 minutes go by)

W: *comes in and kisses me on the forehead before taking our daughter to gymnastics* (she rarely does this).
W: Goodbye.
MM: Bye.

We'll see what happens when they get back in like 5 hours.

She may be fine for a few weeks but slowly this is going to eat at her and likely make her bitter and resentful toward you.

I predict this is not going to end well.

I truly hope I am wrong. We have had our differences on topics, but I always want the best for guys on this forum.

 

[Money & Muscle]

She may be fine for a few weeks but slowly this is going to eat at her and likely make her bitter and resentful toward you.

She crossed a line and was very well aware of what she was doing. If she wants to be resentful of that, she is welcome to do so. I'll be filling a backup roster either way.

Thanks for the kind wishes.

 

[zekko]

How would you approach this situation?

I'd forget the ring tattoo and forget about her getting rid of her Instagram. She didn't fulfill her part of the deal, and the tattoo would be more permanent. In any case, both parts are issues of mistrust that goes deeper than not wearing a ring or having an Instagram. The question would be why is that? Maybe that's what is needed to be worked on.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Due to work environment and time in the gym, it's not very reasonable for me to wear a ring. This has been a problem in my wife's eyes for years

Curious if she wears one? Maybe you mention it later in the thread. Wondering why it's a problem for her.

Perhaps I'm off track here, but IME partners who cast aspersions on fidelity are often trying to misdirect.

How would you approach this situation?

I wouldn't be issuing demands. If someone's gonna cheat, she's gonna cheat. I prefer to be quietly vigilant and if there's bad behavior, keep track and make a decision. Doesn't mean play detective, just pay attention. The lying is not a good sign as she doesn't respect you. As others say she has to fear losing you.

 

[Learning Curve]

Due to work environment and time in the gym, it's not very reasonable for me to wear a ring. This has been a problem in my wife's eyes for years, so I made a proposition: I'll get a ring tattoo (my idea) but she needs to delete her instagram, change her last name, and cut contact with someone I know was on her backup roster (she never admitted this, but WYK,YK).

She's working on the name change (takes a long time in the states), has cut contact with backup (to my knowledge, which I don't quite trust anymore), and said she needed 1 month to transfer stuff off her instagram for our daughter's school (credible reason and I allowed it). I already have the ring tattoo.

It's been about 4 months now and I had a suspicion and checked... it shows her last login was yesterday. Verizon data usage shows 3gb usage monthly since I told her to delete it. I didn't bother following up on this because I thought I could trust her. I was wrong.

I want to ask for her phone, check her IG messages, download her activity usage, and send it to my phone. I'm very seriously considering divorce at this time. She lied to me, has continued to lie to me, and I don't think I can trust her.

How would you approach this situation?

Lets try to come up with more nuanced responses than "just leave her", please and thank you.

To be honest mate, I don't agree with the ring tattoo.

If she had a problem that you had to remove it when you were only at the gym this is her insecurities speaking. Let her deal with it.

Now to your current situation.

I usually never ask women to show me anything regarding social media unless i start to see the woman coming late at home generally changing behavior and patterns and if the s3x gets decreased. I find it insecure and needy.

Why? Because eventually i find out if she is f3ucking somebody else. I don't need social media.

In any case.

Ask her to show you her IG. Right there on the spot, no time for her to delete anything.

Check it and see if she is speaking to the guy. If she does look at the conversation.

Straight away ask her one simple question:

Why are you still talking to the guy when you told me you would cut it off?

If the chat was sexual, and she was planing to go out with him, or to his place or if they even met before and you never knew.

Time to eject.

As hard as it is and this would probably be the last resolution.

If she spoke to the guy but never met him and she is sexual in the conversations again this is a huge red flag. I would personally leave the house and giver her a tough lesson. No contact for a month.

"I need space, have a good life" disappear. No more words. Nada.

Let her hamster spin so hard she would rather commit suicide then do that again.

 

[manfrombelow]

Due to work environment and time in the gym, it's not very reasonable for me to wear a ring. This has been a problem in my wife's eyes for years, so I made a proposition: I'll get a ring tattoo (my idea) but she needs to delete her instagram, change her last name, and cut contact with someone I know was on her backup roster (she never admitted this, but WYK,YK).

The moment you have to demand your gf/wife/whatever to do X and not do X, you have already lost.

You'll learn this hard way, soon.

 

[Bigpapa]

Thats a little disappointing coming fro. You. Hope its sarcasm.
I would say OP needs to use his RP toolbox a bit better. He hasnt solidified the fundamentals yet.
If anything hes got to get back to the wood shed.

It is better not to use something if you do not understand it, otherwise you will end up doing extremely dumb things

Experience is key and red pill should be used as a way to understand something but also more importantly to test different things in order to get the best output

Red pill should not be dogmatic, it should be empirical

My problem with red pill is that most guys are dogmatic and have no clue about what they talk about in the vast majority of time. They even try to simplify things like if the world is black
Or white

As an example, it is much easier to say that women like chads or whatever ( and that is why you are not successful ), instead of putting the effort to emulate as much as possible someone that is perceived as a chad. That is the thing with men, they become better by resolving problems

You know, a lot of the attractiveness can come from little body fat ( as long as you do not look too skinny ). Yet, how many guys from those who go with the chad theory are there?