Josh Davidson
Senior Don Juan
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I often get women's phone numbers when I ask for them but rarely get first dates, and never second dates with the same woman or sex.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
What specifically could I be doing wrong?
- Thread starter Josh Davidson
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Josh Davidson
Senior Don Juan
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I wait two or three days before I text them and try to arrange a meet up. I don't know of anything I do that would turn them off. I sometimes get the "I'll let you know" text from women.
Josh Davidson
Senior Don Juan
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I ask for her number and she is like: "sure" and gives it to me
Josh Davidson
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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- Reaction score
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I wouldn't necessarily say that she seems excited to give me her number
Josh Davidson
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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Me: Hi (her name). This is Josh. We met at (name of bar) on (day of the week). I'm gonna be at (name of bar) on (day of the week) at (time) do you wanna join me? Her: I can't I have to work then. Me: Do you wanna meet up some other time? Her: I'll let you know. [Of course she doesn't]
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Josh Davidson
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2021
- Messages
- 351
- Reaction score
- 140
How do I built rapport with her specifically. (I also happen to have asperger's syndrome (mild autism) so I don't have very good social skills but want to learn)
Josh Davidson
Senior Don Juan
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Ok. Thank you!
lost_blackbird
Master Don Juan
You're not alone here my friend. I have stumbled my way through interpersonal
and romantic relationships my whole life, failed friendships all over the place, failed marriage and
an imminent divorce. I'm 48 in a few weeks and I'm no wiser with this stuff than than when I was 14.
BackInTheGame78
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That's because giving out a number is no big deal for most women. It really isn't even a sign of interest. They know it is far easier for them to give out their number and reject a guy via text than in person where things could escalate or the guy could handle it badly and then they may be in physical danger.
You are misinterpreting getting her number as a sign of interest when it isn't.
bat soup
Master Don Juan
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"I'll let you know" = I'm not really interested.
Women are not going to tell you no directly. They prefer to fob guys off with excuses. Excuse = not interested.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
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