salinechow
Senior Don Juan
Given my recent posts I thought this would be a good exercise for all.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What is Oneitis. Define.
- Thread starter salinechow
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Where even thinking of her literally makes your heart weak and goosebumps down your spine. Only one girl I ever encountered in my life did this to me. Where at one point you would be willing to give up everything to be with her.....hooking up with other women is like nothing compared to being with her...just a side distraction that doesn't really help.
Consider it your kryptonite. But you shoukd enjoy conquering the desire to be with them in order to get stronger...unless they are good for you ofcourse.
Builds true character and inner game.
My other game sucks...can't outtalk your average pua guy or frst guy for that matter....but my inner game is strong because of personal trials tribulations, rejections, enduring pain....conquering severe life/mental threatening insomnia and panic attacks... Martial arts....divorce and last but not least conquering my oneitis.
Consider it your kryptonite. But you shoukd enjoy conquering the desire to be with them in order to get stronger...unless they are good for you ofcourse.
Builds true character and inner game.
My other game sucks...can't outtalk your average pua guy or frst guy for that matter....but my inner game is strong because of personal trials tribulations, rejections, enduring pain....conquering severe life/mental threatening insomnia and panic attacks... Martial arts....divorce and last but not least conquering my oneitis.
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logicallefty
Moderator
Oneitus is where one woman has enough control over you in whatever way that you act in ways that negatively alter your thought processes, actions, decisions, motivations, judgement, etc. regarding other women you may be able to be with.
It's usually the opposite.... You quickly get sick.of your gf...
Oneitis is that unicorn so to speak you never completely got.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Rainbows, unicorns, and puppy dogs, thats what oneitis is made of. I kid! I kid!
I think oneitis is obsessing, idealizing and fantasizing in a highly unrealistic way. I'm guilty on all counts! I need to kill it, dead! It's stupid! LOL!!!
I think oneitis is obsessing, idealizing and fantasizing in a highly unrealistic way. I'm guilty on all counts! I need to kill it, dead! It's stupid! LOL!!!
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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The chick you keep obsessing about that you've posted about in 5 seperate threads and refuse to act like a man and walk away from a woman who is playing games with you and has ZERO sexual interest in you.
That's the perfect definition.
That's the perfect definition.
Oneitis is the mental projection of an idealized conception onto one girl who hasn't demonstrated thoroughly that she could possibly live up to that ideal, often to the exclusion of pursuing other, more tangible options--and to the exclusion of any evidence--behaviors, facts, etc.--that could possibly paint her in a less favorable light.
It usually leads to inaction--such an illusion require distance to sustain itself--and severe male hamsterization. I.e., Oh, she's not emotionally unavailable, she's just shy. Since she's shy, she probably hasn't been with many guys. She isn't responding to my texts because she just needs me to prove myself. She's not insecure and controlling--she's just been hurt in the past, etc.
It usually leads to inaction--such an illusion require distance to sustain itself--and severe male hamsterization. I.e., Oh, she's not emotionally unavailable, she's just shy. Since she's shy, she probably hasn't been with many guys. She isn't responding to my texts because she just needs me to prove myself. She's not insecure and controlling--she's just been hurt in the past, etc.
Serenity
Moderator
Oneitis is used to describe a man who focuses and pursues only one woman without her having the same interest for him, it's thus considered negative. However if she's got the same interest it's usually not defined as oneitis.
Oneitis is the same as infatuation, she's on your mind, you imagine being with her and have elevated feelings for her. Oneitis in particular is when a man fantasizes instead of acting on his feelings, he remains trapped and usually crashes horribly when the high subsides. It's exactly like a drug, feels good but is eventually very bad for you.
Oneitis is the same as infatuation, she's on your mind, you imagine being with her and have elevated feelings for her. Oneitis in particular is when a man fantasizes instead of acting on his feelings, he remains trapped and usually crashes horribly when the high subsides. It's exactly like a drug, feels good but is eventually very bad for you.
I've suffered from that before, and let me tell you that like you said, it isn't fun at all after that high wears off. There was a girl that I loved back in high school, and it continued on for so long, those feelings kept going even after that woman got married several years ago as I wasn't phased by it. Then it died down for awhile but those feelings immediately reignited when I saw her in a department store last year and we talked for awhile. It took me quite a few months but they're back under control again, plus my mother helped pound some sense into my head when she informed me that even if that girl did get divorced (which was what I was hoping for at one time as I can tell she isn't all that happy currently by what she does), I didn't need all that extra baggage that would come with her. I still think of her occasionally, but nowhere near how I used to.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I would break it down in 2 ways:
(1) when the girl is good looking and is the only one who finds you attractive. You have to stick with this girl because you don't know how to get any other girl to find you attractive. You do anything to make it work with her.
(2) when the girl is good looking and you think (not her) that your personalities and interests match up very well. She understands you and is your soul mate. You do anything to make it work with her.
Oneitis only occurs when the girl is good looking and in shape. Who has oneitis to a girl 15 lbs overweight with glasses and bad clothes?
(1) when the girl is good looking and is the only one who finds you attractive. You have to stick with this girl because you don't know how to get any other girl to find you attractive. You do anything to make it work with her.
(2) when the girl is good looking and you think (not her) that your personalities and interests match up very well. She understands you and is your soul mate. You do anything to make it work with her.
Oneitis only occurs when the girl is good looking and in shape. Who has oneitis to a girl 15 lbs overweight with glasses and bad clothes?
raider87
Senior Don Juan
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It's usually an infatuation of a girl you barely know. A girl that may have shown interest but you got stuck in your head, overanalysed everything and failed to act. Your gut instinct tells you to make a move but your mind is filled with self doubt from bs social conditioning so you sort of just freeze and stall until she loses all interest.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Oneitis = Spending too much time thinking about one woman.