salinechow
Senior Don Juan
Given my recent posts I thought this would be a good exercise for all.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
If you have a girlfriend you have oneitis
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
I've suffered from that before, and let me tell you that like you said, it isn't fun at all after that high wears off. There was a girl that I loved back in high school, and it continued on for so long, those feelings kept going even after that woman got married several years ago as I wasn't phased by it. Then it died down for awhile but those feelings immediately reignited when I saw her in a department store last year and we talked for awhile. It took me quite a few months but they're back under control again, plus my mother helped pound some sense into my head when she informed me that even if that girl did get divorced (which was what I was hoping for at one time as I can tell she isn't all that happy currently by what she does), I didn't need all that extra baggage that would come with her. I still think of her occasionally, but nowhere near how I used to.Oneitis is used to describe a man who focuses and pursues only one woman without her having the same interest for him, it's thus considered negative. However if she's got the same interest it's usually not defined as oneitis.
Oneitis is the same as infatuation, she's on your mind, you imagine being with her and have elevated feelings for her. Oneitis in particular is when a man fantasizes instead of acting on his feelings, he remains trapped and usually crashes horribly when the high subsides. It's exactly like a drug, feels good but is eventually very bad for you.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.