BeTheChange
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2015
- Messages
- 1,461
- Reaction score
- 1,138
Serious question.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Yeah agree. My "problem" is that all of my hobbies are pretty cheap - gym, music, reading, salsa, etc.The whole point of money is so that you are able to buy the things needed to fulfill your hobbies. You just gotta find some hobbies.
Yes, I hired a physical trainer in December. I'm 7 months in now and I'm really seeing results. There is no other way a 47 year old man like me could have replaced a 21 year old HB9 within days without my having been hitting the gym for a long time.MOr say hiring a physical trainer to coach you. I write my own workouts really, but having someone there pushing you is always great because it keeps you working hard.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I second that on the Legos. I don't buy new ones anymore, or rarely. But on a stressful day I might come home and build with the ones I have had starting since I was 2 x years old. It takes my mind off of stuff.Some I use on things and some I use on activities. I recently bought a Lego set that I'm currently building. It's not something I do often, but that set was just too cool to not buy. I don't buy much things really, I spend more on experiences. I go on festivals, concerts, travel to other countries and even go on a spa once in a while.
I really just buy whatever I'd like if it doesn't hurt my economy, I can afford most things I want.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.