BeTheChange
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2015
- Messages
- 1,461
- Reaction score
- 1,138
Serious question.
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Yeah agree. My "problem" is that all of my hobbies are pretty cheap - gym, music, reading, salsa, etc.The whole point of money is so that you are able to buy the things needed to fulfill your hobbies. You just gotta find some hobbies.
Yes, I hired a physical trainer in December. I'm 7 months in now and I'm really seeing results. There is no other way a 47 year old man like me could have replaced a 21 year old HB9 within days without my having been hitting the gym for a long time.MOr say hiring a physical trainer to coach you. I write my own workouts really, but having someone there pushing you is always great because it keeps you working hard.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I second that on the Legos. I don't buy new ones anymore, or rarely. But on a stressful day I might come home and build with the ones I have had starting since I was 2 x years old. It takes my mind off of stuff.Some I use on things and some I use on activities. I recently bought a Lego set that I'm currently building. It's not something I do often, but that set was just too cool to not buy. I don't buy much things really, I spend more on experiences. I go on festivals, concerts, travel to other countries and even go on a spa once in a while.
I really just buy whatever I'd like if it doesn't hurt my economy, I can afford most things I want.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.