"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Vacation girl: keeping in touch or not?

Gary Goldman

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I've tried to find similar thread but no luck. So I was out of town on vacation and met this girl, we had a fling. The thing is, we live in different cities, but I have relatives in her city that I visit once or twice a year. So if we're both single it'd be cool to have a girl to hang out when going there. My question is, to make the job easier, should I keep in touch with her (how often?) or should I invite her for a coffee out of the blue once I'm there? This could be applied for other girls from now on.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Gary Goldman

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I would say only reach out a couple days in advance before you go. If there is interest, she will make time to see you.
That's a valuable advice. But don't you think I should text her once in a while to keep myself on her to do list?
 

El Payaso

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Don't you have girls in your city?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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El Payaso

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Why not spinning plates everywhere you go? New and old ones...
Spinning plates is when you're seeing them regularly. At least on a weekly or bi-weekly basis if not days.

You're only going to be seeing this girl once, if you're lucky, twice a year. What is the guarantee that she will be single or available those times you visit?

Accept it for what it was. A fling.

If you start texting her and chatting her up from long distance, you risk becoming her emotional tampon and entering an LDR without any real benefits.

All you can do now is, forget about her and focus on where you are right now. On the times when you do visit, hit her up and tell her you're in her city and want to take her out or whatever.

Don't waste any more time texting her unless you're trying to get into a relationship with her or something.
 

Gary Goldman

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You're totally right. It'll change my mindset when dealing with this kind of situation. Thanks.
 
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