"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Vacation girl: keeping in touch or not?

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Gary Goldman

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I've tried to find similar thread but no luck. So I was out of town on vacation and met this girl, we had a fling. The thing is, we live in different cities, but I have relatives in her city that I visit once or twice a year. So if we're both single it'd be cool to have a girl to hang out when going there. My question is, to make the job easier, should I keep in touch with her (how often?) or should I invite her for a coffee out of the blue once I'm there? This could be applied for other girls from now on.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Gary Goldman

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Roober said:
I would say only reach out a couple days in advance before you go. If there is interest, she will make time to see you.
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That's a valuable advice. But don't you think I should text her once in a while to keep myself on her to do list?
 
El Payaso

El Payaso

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Don't you have girls in your city?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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El Payaso

El Payaso

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Gary Goldman said:
Why not spinning plates everywhere you go? New and old ones...
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Spinning plates is when you're seeing them regularly. At least on a weekly or bi-weekly basis if not days.

You're only going to be seeing this girl once, if you're lucky, twice a year. What is the guarantee that she will be single or available those times you visit?

Accept it for what it was. A fling.

If you start texting her and chatting her up from long distance, you risk becoming her emotional tampon and entering an LDR without any real benefits.

All you can do now is, forget about her and focus on where you are right now. On the times when you do visit, hit her up and tell her you're in her city and want to take her out or whatever.

Don't waste any more time texting her unless you're trying to get into a relationship with her or something.
 
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You're totally right. It'll change my mindset when dealing with this kind of situation. Thanks.
 
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