You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
This is why betas fail every timeNope, touch them first but it can be anything.. Shaking hands, sharing a small couch, high 5's, whatever you do though, do it with confidence as if you already know she wants you to do it, otherwise you come across as an insecure creep.
Especially betas it always fails for betasThe short answer is both will work but I think it has more to do with your personality as to which you choose. I'm very muscular, full of testosterone and aggressive both in terms of actions and looks. I always touch first and get very good results from it. However I do it in a relaxed manner, as part of conversation and it seems completely normal.
It works for me because it comes across congruent to my personality, how I act, and what the woman is expecting. It comes across as natural for me to do that.
I think if others tried the same thing it might not work as well if they have a different personality than me, or if the woman is expecting something else.
Either way, both methods work, so choose the one that fits your personality best.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Doc's got class. Most pua's seem sleezy.So I am a confessed grabber. Between being tall and a good talker I normally get the desired results, eject or progress.
But I d love to know how the nonchalant crowd do it. I m an analyst by trade so fish/water. I ve asked on a heap of threads and never got any specific answers.
@wifehunter I m curious if u don't escalate physically on a date how do u screen out time wasters?
And how do u escalate non-physically to avoid being friend zoned.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Not true, I used to touch first all the time, without apologies and did whatever I wanted. It got me labeled as a bad boy, and it made them want to have sex with me, so I'm disagreeing with thatDoc's got class. Most pua's seem sleezy.
Be a catch, and never end up in the friend zone.
If she thinks all you want is sex, you're done.
Hand hold is huge, it means she yields to you and that she trusts you.I find it a good sign when a woman holds my hand for a good time.
I'm glad you pointed that out, they want all the attention... I'm still not super good with them. I mean if they want you like a piece of meat it's easy, but sometimes they lay back and if you go to them they will back off, it's like messing with a cat and I still don't have the process down for AW's.Depends on the girl. An AW will lose interest if you're too aggressive
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.