When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Brilliant post VU - sad to say I've learned each one the hard way. The curfew is the worst. Note that one girl will typically do 5 of these things all of a sudden. I'll add:Victory Unlimited said:Here are few for you:
1. When she claims to not "know" if she'll be free or not on the day that you ask her to go out with you on a date.
2. When she "suddenly" tells you that her cousin, her best friend from out of town, or her relatives have come to town on the day she was supposed to go out with you.
3. When she calls you @ 11am to cancel a date you have with her at 7pm that same night because she's not "feeling well". (What she's telling you is that she ain't even PLANNING on trying to feel better to go out with yo' ass 8 HOURS LATER!!!)
4. On the day of the date itself: When she claims to have FORGOTTEN that you even asked her out in the first place!
5. When she goes out with you but ENDS THE DATE early----claiming she has to get up early in the morning or she has to go pick her kids, etc.
6. When she agrees to go out with you------but surprises you by bringing someone on the date "with her"------to block you from getting anywhere near close to her.
I could go on. But I'll let the other So Suavers chime in...
V.U.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Victory Unlimited said:6. When she agrees to go out with you------but surprises you by bringing someone on the date "with her"------to block you from getting anywhere near close to her.
V.U.
I would agree with you but the fact is, we aren't all obese ugly people. It's more like just telling someone who you aren't attracted to to fvck off. I have said 'no' to attractive women before just because I wasn't into it. I think it's the same for women. Yea, you can be good looking and have a great job. Point is, you just don't click. Don't take it harshly.juicywa said:its simple...
imagine an ugly obese girl is asking you out.
same deal.
or you are on a date with that same ugly chick (fvck how did that happen?) and she's trying to get you to her house for sex. You find every reason to dodge that sh*t.
same thing..
but its happening to you.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
The best thing you can do in this case is just ignore that. Oftentimes once it gets within an hour or two before the appointed time suddenly you'll hear from her that she's feeling better and will make it after all. If she's just getting cold feet then the last thing you want to give her is an easy out.Victory Unlimited said:3. When she calls you @ 11am to cancel a date you have with her at 7pm that same night because she's not "feeling well". (What she's telling you is that she ain't even PLANNING on trying to feel better to go out with yo' ass 8 HOURS LATER!!!)
Following on from that (off topic slightly).... until you've got your duck inside the gal, a date means nothing.Mike32ct said:...In general, never get too excited about a date you have set up. Until she actually shows up, it means nothing.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.