Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Brilliant post VU - sad to say I've learned each one the hard way. The curfew is the worst. Note that one girl will typically do 5 of these things all of a sudden. I'll add:Victory Unlimited said:Here are few for you:
1. When she claims to not "know" if she'll be free or not on the day that you ask her to go out with you on a date.
2. When she "suddenly" tells you that her cousin, her best friend from out of town, or her relatives have come to town on the day she was supposed to go out with you.
3. When she calls you @ 11am to cancel a date you have with her at 7pm that same night because she's not "feeling well". (What she's telling you is that she ain't even PLANNING on trying to feel better to go out with yo' ass 8 HOURS LATER!!!)
4. On the day of the date itself: When she claims to have FORGOTTEN that you even asked her out in the first place!
5. When she goes out with you but ENDS THE DATE early----claiming she has to get up early in the morning or she has to go pick her kids, etc.
6. When she agrees to go out with you------but surprises you by bringing someone on the date "with her"------to block you from getting anywhere near close to her.
I could go on. But I'll let the other So Suavers chime in...
V.U.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Victory Unlimited said:6. When she agrees to go out with you------but surprises you by bringing someone on the date "with her"------to block you from getting anywhere near close to her.
V.U.
I would agree with you but the fact is, we aren't all obese ugly people. It's more like just telling someone who you aren't attracted to to fvck off. I have said 'no' to attractive women before just because I wasn't into it. I think it's the same for women. Yea, you can be good looking and have a great job. Point is, you just don't click. Don't take it harshly.juicywa said:its simple...
imagine an ugly obese girl is asking you out.
same deal.
or you are on a date with that same ugly chick (fvck how did that happen?) and she's trying to get you to her house for sex. You find every reason to dodge that sh*t.
same thing..
but its happening to you.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The best thing you can do in this case is just ignore that. Oftentimes once it gets within an hour or two before the appointed time suddenly you'll hear from her that she's feeling better and will make it after all. If she's just getting cold feet then the last thing you want to give her is an easy out.Victory Unlimited said:3. When she calls you @ 11am to cancel a date you have with her at 7pm that same night because she's not "feeling well". (What she's telling you is that she ain't even PLANNING on trying to feel better to go out with yo' ass 8 HOURS LATER!!!)
Following on from that (off topic slightly).... until you've got your duck inside the gal, a date means nothing.Mike32ct said:...In general, never get too excited about a date you have set up. Until she actually shows up, it means nothing.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.