"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Top signs a girl is blowing you off
- Thread starter Cassify
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Victory Unlimited
Master Don Juan
1. When she claims to not "know" if she'll be free or not on the day that you ask her to go out with you on a date.
2. When she "suddenly" tells you that her cousin, her best friend from out of town, or her relatives have come to town on the day she was supposed to go out with you.
3. When she calls you @ 11am to cancel a date you have with her at 7pm that same night because she's not "feeling well". (What she's telling you is that she ain't even PLANNING on trying to feel better to go out with yo' ass 8 HOURS LATER!!!)
4. On the day of the date itself: When she claims to have FORGOTTEN that you even asked her out in the first place!
5. When she goes out with you but ENDS THE DATE early----claiming she has to get up early in the morning or she has to go pick her kids, etc.
6. When she agrees to go out with you------but surprises you by bringing someone on the date "with her"------to block you from getting anywhere near close to her.
I could go on. But I'll let the other So Suavers chime in...
V.U.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
The girls who actually want to see you will find ways to see you. The girls who don't will make excuse after excuse to not hang out with you. But they'll still happily reply to all your texts because, well, they're girls.
Brilliant post VU - sad to say I've learned each one the hard way. The curfew is the worst. Note that one girl will typically do 5 of these things all of a sudden. I'll add:Victory Unlimited said:
7. You ask her out and she says she's busy but doesn't give a definite rain check date. "Maybe some other time" doesn't count.
8. She postpones to tomorrow, and then postpones to tomorrow again the next day.
9. You just get that gut feeling that something changed.
10. She takes 12 hours to reply to a text about an important matter, and offers minimal support.
11. She doesn't check in on you when you are going through a major change (job, house).
12. You take her out and she doesn't at least text (preferably she'll call) to say she had a good time and to thank you after.
13. She says "B-bye".
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Victory Unlimited
Master Don Juan
Yeah, number 8 brings back memories: When women constantly keep postponing the date.
There's nothing quite like a chick constantly putting guys on "snooze" or on indefinite "hold". If life had a referee, I'm sure she'd be called for "Delay of Game". lol
Here's another one:
14. When she starts calling you her "friend" while she's on the date with you.
Or worse yet, here's one more:
15. When you're on the date with her and she SUDDENLY reveals to you that she has a boyfriend and just how much in love with him she is RIGHT NOW. (Yo' ass has just been used to pay for dinner and movie...)
nismo-4
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17. She's out with her girlfriends.
18. She goes out of town.
19. When her phone goes straight to voicemail every time you call her.
Women choose how they want to feel. They can control their emotions. And if a woman wants you, she'll find a way to get you.
Victory Unlimited
Master Don Juan
what's also worked for me is being vague and seeing what her reaction is. if you can get her to agree to the date before you even tell her what the date involves, i think you're golden. example:
me: hey, you wanna do something saturday?
interested girl: yeah!
me: cool, i was thinking we could ______, pick you up at ______?
interested girl: ok cool!
me: wanna do something saturday?
uninterested girl: what?
me: maybe _____
uninterested girl: what time?
me: like around ______
uninterested girl: i'm not sure, i'll let you know
the more questions she asks, the more likely she is to flake, in my opinion. the payoff should be she's getting a chance to be with you one on one. that should be her draw, no matter what it is you propose, she should be down.
nismo-4
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Men are much more likely to get flaked on because their dating options aren't infinite, barring that top 10% that most women go for.
And these female excuses and games are part of the equation.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
22. She refers to her boyfriend using the word "boyfriend" (even if she has one, she shouldn't use that word around you).
23. She gets even more annoyed by the little things that annoy you than you were in the first place.
24. The Bus Stop: At the end of the date, as you're about to drop her off, she starts gathering all her things together moments before arrival, puts her hand on the interior door handle while the car is still rolling, and opens the door to get away from you before the car officially stops.
25. She doesn't program your home/new phone number into her phone.
26. She changes her cell phone number and doesn't volunteer the new one, leaving you to only email/FB.
27. She says she has to clean when you want sex.
28. She says she's not in the mood - even once.
29. The Pity Peck - you go to kiss her lips and she turns to give you the cheek (the opposite should happen).
30. The Pity Pay - she pays for the date but has a reason she has to leave early.
SoSuave666
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Or some variation
imagine an ugly obese girl is asking you out.
same deal.
or you are on a date with that same ugly chick (fvck how did that happen?) and she's trying to get you to her house for sex. You find every reason to dodge that sh*t.
same thing..
but its happening to you.
SoSuave666
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I would agree with you but the fact is, we aren't all obese ugly people. It's more like just telling someone who you aren't attracted to to fvck off. I have said 'no' to attractive women before just because I wasn't into it. I think it's the same for women. Yea, you can be good looking and have a great job. Point is, you just don't click. Don't take it harshly.juicywa said:
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
TillTheEndOfTime
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The best thing you can do in this case is just ignore that. Oftentimes once it gets within an hour or two before the appointed time suddenly you'll hear from her that she's feeling better and will make it after all. If she's just getting cold feet then the last thing you want to give her is an easy out.Victory Unlimited said:
Mike32ct
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"I think I can make it Thursday. Text me Wednesday."
This gives her until Wednesday to come up with an excuse to give you.
In general, never get too excited about a date you have set up. Until she actually shows up, it means nothing.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.