Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Brilliant post VU - sad to say I've learned each one the hard way. The curfew is the worst. Note that one girl will typically do 5 of these things all of a sudden. I'll add:Victory Unlimited said:Here are few for you:
1. When she claims to not "know" if she'll be free or not on the day that you ask her to go out with you on a date.
2. When she "suddenly" tells you that her cousin, her best friend from out of town, or her relatives have come to town on the day she was supposed to go out with you.
3. When she calls you @ 11am to cancel a date you have with her at 7pm that same night because she's not "feeling well". (What she's telling you is that she ain't even PLANNING on trying to feel better to go out with yo' ass 8 HOURS LATER!!!)
4. On the day of the date itself: When she claims to have FORGOTTEN that you even asked her out in the first place!
5. When she goes out with you but ENDS THE DATE early----claiming she has to get up early in the morning or she has to go pick her kids, etc.
6. When she agrees to go out with you------but surprises you by bringing someone on the date "with her"------to block you from getting anywhere near close to her.
I could go on. But I'll let the other So Suavers chime in...
V.U.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Victory Unlimited said:6. When she agrees to go out with you------but surprises you by bringing someone on the date "with her"------to block you from getting anywhere near close to her.
V.U.
I would agree with you but the fact is, we aren't all obese ugly people. It's more like just telling someone who you aren't attracted to to fvck off. I have said 'no' to attractive women before just because I wasn't into it. I think it's the same for women. Yea, you can be good looking and have a great job. Point is, you just don't click. Don't take it harshly.juicywa said:its simple...
imagine an ugly obese girl is asking you out.
same deal.
or you are on a date with that same ugly chick (fvck how did that happen?) and she's trying to get you to her house for sex. You find every reason to dodge that sh*t.
same thing..
but its happening to you.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
The best thing you can do in this case is just ignore that. Oftentimes once it gets within an hour or two before the appointed time suddenly you'll hear from her that she's feeling better and will make it after all. If she's just getting cold feet then the last thing you want to give her is an easy out.Victory Unlimited said:3. When she calls you @ 11am to cancel a date you have with her at 7pm that same night because she's not "feeling well". (What she's telling you is that she ain't even PLANNING on trying to feel better to go out with yo' ass 8 HOURS LATER!!!)
Following on from that (off topic slightly).... until you've got your duck inside the gal, a date means nothing.Mike32ct said:...In general, never get too excited about a date you have set up. Until she actually shows up, it means nothing.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.