Think i am starting to lose interest in life

[Plinco]

This is a question of what you want. No one can answer that but you.

I know that I want to change society, get into politics, and date young women.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I am not "rich"

I can live comfortably within my means but that is only because i don't indulge in buying things i don't need or feel the need to show off to others

Sadly most rich people aren't happy they sold themselves to get to where they are trampling over people and making others lives a misery even with the most muted conscience this darkens the soul

On top of that the people that are usually around them are just interlopers hanging around for the ride whilst the going's good

If you get a chance go to Monaco and witness it for your self

It's just endless d1ck swinging and competing

So utterly pointless

How would I go to Monaco? I’m not rich. Give your head a shake and have some gratitude for your accomplishments

 

[Reyaj]

Quite simply I have found that procreation and enjoying life's pleasures is purpose.

This is only the path I found though. Everyone must find their own..

 

[Fruitbat]

Skip to the end for the message:

OP has done what I did. I’m not quite a millionaire businessman but I make serious money. You may find money doesn’t bring happiness, but it alleviates suffering. As someone who as a child had to hide with my parents from creditors in the dark behind the sofa, and as a young adult ended up working 2 jobs etc…supporting myself alone from age 16, you bet your ass it’s a whole lot better.

Now, what you are having is what’s known as an existential crisis. Maslows hierarchy is filled. You are now on the top tier and are looking for spiritual fulfilment.

Having kids helps, only in as much as they keep you busy and crucially - they give a cast iron reason for living.

In 2015 I stood on top of a local bridge with a 1000 ft drop many times. Got as close as climbing up the wall once. It was my lack of bottle which stopped me. Plus my parents are still alive, and the grieving face of my father I remembered seeing once. Anyway, this is something which won’t happen now, as this little brat will always be the priority; no matter what, the only way she’s flying solo is if fate takes me from her. I’ll stay by her side to the bitter end.

so, what can help. 2 things or concepts I learned which I’ve found hugely beneficial. These come essentially from Taoism.

1. present is the only thing which exists but everything you are is the end result of billions and billions of actions. Your father didn’t get late for his train? Didn’t meet your mother. Your grandfather sat in a shell hole and that German who found him took pity on the wounded soldier, decided to let him fight another day, threw him a cigarette instead of a hand grenade…..and on, and on and on.

you can view this as a spiders web of actions, an enormous spiders web, but each strand supports each other and every link in the chain is necessary . Thus, when you are gone, your link is still there. So, what will your link in the chain be? Think on that. Hedonism? Kindness? You make history and you will exist forever. People thousands of years from now would not be possible Without you. Even if you don’t have kids.

2. We suffer from the idea life is like a building, or something we complete. Bollocks. It has no meaning. The meaning is your choice. No fortune survives the grave.

Life should be viewed as a song or symphony. Do we fast forward to the final note, the end, the creacendo and the clash of a symbol? No. The interesting bit is the way you get there. The ups and downs, the verse, the chorus, we don’t dance to the final note and the completion. We dance because it’s fun. We don’t know which way the melody will go, and the surprised in cadence and melody are what makes it fun.

So even if you find no meaning - just dance the dance, enjoy it. That’s what life is, and it’s simple.

I hope this helps others as much as it helps me.

 

[LARaiders85]

About 2 years ago i ended a 4 year LTR because i wanted too try and become this multimillionaire high flying businessman

I feel this archetype is often sold to young men as the pinnacle of existence

So i ended the relationship I moved city , expanded my side hustle and really pushed myself out of my comfort zone

Fast forward to today and i don't know i feel kind of lost , in the last year i have started to realise that money and status don't really bring that much happiness they just allow a certain level of freedom and autonomy which is nice but pretty useless when everyone else is willingly involved in the "matrix"

working a lot to make money when you have no free time to enjoy it or family to provide for really feels like getting caught in a circular feedback loop in my experience. It can make sense if your background or motivations allow it to, but never makes sense on its own terms once you get there.

i place very little value in materialistic goods and i am finding the majority of people i meet are very empty and are usually obsessed with their "image" or body and seem to be very easily swayed by whatever the latest widespread hysteria is

( COVID , LGBT , BLM , Ukraine war , Inflation )..... to name a few plot lines in the last couple of years

This causes scarcity in the dating market when you realize connecting with people on a deep level is so rare, and a healthy fear of dependency on the average NPC who will turn on you on a dime if an authority figure tells them to.

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I have also lost all interest in alcohol and partying i did use this as my outlet in my 20's but now i am tired of it and also feel its changed quite a lot in the last few years if i got out now i feel like i am forcing myself out

An exercise in futility in most places now. Online dating killed the vibe.

I did try going to church for a bit , some of it did make sense and there were some nice people there

but i was also starting to get some cult like vibes so i don't go very much anymore

you need to keep trying new ones until you find the right fit. Most of them wont be but one of them will be.

I get most of my enjoyment now from hiking and interacting with any animals i see on my travels , unfortunately we are in the heart of the winter in the UK and obviously i can't get out much

I am starting to wonder is this it ? it seems like nearly everyone on the planet is chasing a never ending pit of money / debt and how many "things" can i buy with my money

How do people cope with the banality of life ?

I often wondered whilst i was younger why so many people had children given the amount of time and resources they consume , now i am starting to understand there actually isn't a great deal else to do

Having kids follows naturally, exactly. Working to the bone prevents you from accomplishing this.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe try listening to this song over and over?

 

[BeExcellent]

What @Fruitbat said. Read & reread.

Life is the journey. Meaning is in the journey.

Have gratitude for the blessings you have, enjoy each moment because we cannot know our final fate nor our exit.

I am old by some standards, still youthful and very much alive, but in my 50s things come into focus. Last week a close friend diagnosed with colon cancer, losing parents, losing friends, understanding the reality of mortality. Life is struggle but life is also joy. I am grateful each day. I have worked hard and sacrificed much but when I go for a drive in a car few can afford and that engine roars with the top down and the sun on my face and the wind rushing by? It is pure joy. I did this. I am blessed, right here, right now.

I do for friends, sometimes for strangers. I’ve taken people for a ride (as an example) to share a thrill they may never otherwise experience, to give an experience, a story they can tell later, a feeling they can remember the rest of their lives. This lady took me for a ride once…who does that? Maybe I’ve inspired someone maybe given someone joy for a short while.

I’ve given away books I found insightful, I can always buy another copy.

It’s why I’m here too. To give. For me that has meaning. The web we weave is indeed interconnected. Perhaps I’ve been a light in someone’s darkness for a short while.

Be kind. Do for others because you can. You will leave good things in doing this in ways you can only imagine.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Maybe try listening to this song over and over?

Once you've had it in the ear, there's simply no going back.

 

[Fruitbat]

Once you've had it in the ear, there's simply no going back.

when I hear that I think of trainspotting and doing copious amounts of shoplifting and heroin.

 

[Murk]

Sounds like low T. Only joking.

I concur with your sentiments, winter is a depressing time in the UK. I think you need to work harder and earn more, also you don’t need church to learn and lean on the Most High. Most people follow unsound doctrine.

Try some winter sun. I’m heading to Antigua soon when I close/wrap up some deals and get invoices sent out.

 

[ubercat]

If I had the answers I d start a cult/YT channel. I m very slowly starting reading on stoicism. The answers better men than me have come up with have been covered here: family, community, service. I d add building character to support all of those founded on the pillars of self-reflection, meditation, exercise and routine. Given the state of the planet add environmentalism to the list. It's a broad church now should find a pew that fits your political perspective.

 

[Fruitbat]

If I had the answers I d start a cult/YT channel. I m very slowly starting reading on stoicism. The answers better men than me have come up with have been covered here: family, community, service. I d add building character to support all of those founded on the pillars of self-reflection, meditation, exercise and routine. Given the state of the planet add environmentalism to the list. It's a broad church now should find a pew that fits your political perspective.

Stoicism I’ve been into for several years. Letters from a stoic by Seneca is really good, the all time no 1 is meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

Be warned. The online stoicism community isn’t a community to help people, it’s 99% academics who pour over the irrelevant hair splitting parts of it, try to outdo each other with how many long words they can fit in a sentence to say a very simple thing, and have no interest in helping others.

there’s an email subscription service called “daily stoic” which is helpful.

Epictetus is probably the best for the Everyman. He was a crippled slave who won his freedom and he had an incredible sense of humour. While Marcus A came at it like a king, with high notions of honour and justice, and Seneca was like the Saul Goodman, a man in the system stuck amongst theives, Epictetus insights were much more for the guy in the street whom nobody cared for and how you can find simple humour and joy in everything. Apologies if you’ve already learned all of the above but in case you hadn’t or others wanted to get into it, hope this is useful.

 

[Machine10033]

Now, what you are having is what’s known as an existential crisis. Maslows hierarchy is filled. You are now on the top tier and are looking for spiritual fulfilment.

Thank you.... I am in a similar funk. Found this forum in 2002. Life was so exciting.. started focusing on myself. Got in crazy shape, was blessed with great genetics 6ft4.. started pulling chicks left and right, traveling the world.... 20 years later I have all the money I need... top of my career and I find myself withdrawing from life.

It’s hard for me to get excited about the things that used to excite me. I feel like the only thing that would bring satisfaction back to my life would be having kids and passing on all the stuff I learned over my lifetime and watching them grow and blow my achievements out of the water.

 

[Bingo-Player]

It’s hard for me to get excited about the things that used to excite me. I feel like the only thing that would bring satisfaction back to my life would be having kids and passing on all the stuff I learned over my lifetime and watching them grow and blow my achievements out of the water.

See heres the thing i don't believe having children and family ultimately brings the "ultimate satisfaction" many seem to believe it does

all that happens is they give you more purpose because you must sacrifice very large parts of your life too ensure they can have theirs

I think a lot of people have kids with the expectation it will solve a problem or add something to life

the reality is you have around 6 years of solid grind whilst they go through the infant - child stage

You then get 5 golden years

Then the hell starts again as they enter their teenage years and often they will want little to nothing to do with you until they reach early adulthood

It doesn't really seem to scream life satisfaction to me

 

[Blacksheep]

Feel something similar.

One the few things that give me some sort of happiness and interest its when I go to my uncles farm. He, her wife and my cousin lives a very simple life, and they are the only people i have met in this life that show some genuine happiness in life.

They have enough money to have their stuffs, but I see that its not about money, its about what we have inside and with whom we connect.

There is no phone signal there. Its only nature. Whenever I go there I feel peace. And I love to observe the dogs, horses and other animals. Its something we as humans are losing chasing stupid fantasies we created to ourselves.

Agree that money can help to achieve freedom and some great stuffs. But it doesnt matter if what we have inside is pure garbage.

So I agree with you, its easy to lose interest in all those sh1t they sell us as luxury or the meaning of success, wealth. There is actually no value in it.

But when you look at the simplest things in life, you see how this existence is amazing.

Ita sad to see that we as humans are destroying this great experience called life.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

About 2 years ago i ended a 4 year LTR because i wanted too try and become this multimillionaire high flying businessman

. Damn.

 

[Bingo-Player]

. Damn.

Well that wasn't the sole reason but i definitely felt something was lacking mainly because i had been subconsciously trained for so many years to "want nice things"

It was probably something i needed to go through so i could understand sometimes you just need to appreciate what you have rather than chasing down a never ending rabbit hole

It was definitely a lesson i needed to learn i was also immature and arrogant two things i am also working to improve

 

[Modern Man Advice]

About 2 years ago i ended a 4 year LTR because i wanted too try and become this multimillionaire high flying businessman

I feel this archetype is often sold to young men as the pinnacle of existence

So i ended the relationship I moved city , expanded my side hustle and really pushed myself out of my comfort zone

Fast forward to today and i don't know i feel kind of lost , in the last year i have started to realise that money and status don't really bring that much happiness they just allow a certain level of freedom and autonomy which is nice but pretty useless when everyone else is willingly involved in the "matrix"

i place very little value in materialistic goods and i am finding the majority of people i meet are very empty and are usually obsessed with their "image" or body and seem to be very easily swayed by whatever the latest widespread hysteria is

( COVID , LGBT , BLM , Ukraine war , Inflation )..... to name a few plot lines in the last couple of years

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have also lost all interest in alcohol and partying i did use this as my outlet in my 20's but now i am tired of it and also feel its changed quite a lot in the last few years if i got out now i feel like i am forcing myself out

I did try going to church for a bit , some of it did make sense and there were some nice people there

but i was also starting to get some cult like vibes so i don't go very much anymore

I get most of my enjoyment now from hiking and interacting with any animals i see on my travels , unfortunately we are in the heart of the winter in the UK and obviously i can't get out much

I am starting to wonder is this it ? it seems like nearly everyone on the planet is chasing a never ending pit of money / debt and how many "things" can i buy with my money

How do people cope with the banality of life ?

I often wondered whilst i was younger why so many people had children given the amount of time and resources they consume , now i am starting to understand there actually isn't a great deal else to do

You sound like Camus or Sartre. I've been there so I can speak from experience, and ironically reading Camus and Sartre gave me a lot of comfort. Just like listening to Radiohead makes me happy, an oxymoron of some sort.

But you did make a "mistake" which I wouldn't necessarily call it that, you chased happiness. You bought into the destination disease easily sold by people like Andrew Tate or the media (Especially IG). This disease relies on "I'll be happy when ______".

Your best route is to serve others at this point. Volunteer, be kind to your fellow humans, travel, and seek other cultures' perspectives. You will find it's been in you all this time but buried by social constructs and mirages.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Your best route is to serve others at this point. Volunteer, be kind to your fellow humans.

I´ve been thinking about this recently. Most guys here spend their life pursuing money and/or puzzy and when they get it they arent really happy.

 

[Stanley]

@Bingo-Player You start reading Camus yet?

Also, as others have mentioned stoicism is a great tool and philosophy. I use an app called the stoic, it gives you about 5 quotes a day randomly from well known stoics to reflect on. I open that app and start reading whenever I feel a negative emotion coming on during the day. Another thing worth doing is journaling which pairs along with stoicism as well. I think a lot of guys use this forum as a means of venting and journaling in a way. But having your thoughts on paper for you and you alone can be cathartic. I open word doc at least twice a day and just write whatever the hell is going on upstairs. Helped me a metric **** ton