I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Really? All of your ex's sent you Christmas good wishes??!!!I did the dumping about two months ago and just realized it had been that long. All my other exe's have sent me xmas good wishes but this one. Hmm it's better this way.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Not sure why you care since you are reconciling with the wife? And she is preggo...I was at Day 16.... my story is f'd and complicated. To sum it up... I'm married. I seperated from my wife and dated this girl for about a month but we had worked together for about 7 months so the feelings were already there.
Anyway she dumped me BC she wasnt over her abusive BF..... a few weeks later my wife wanted to start dating again so I did. My wife is the better catch out of the 2 for a lot of reasons.
But this girl insisted on ending things badly. She took the nuclear option and just caused a bunch of drama. For months I would try to check in, say hi, say I hope all is well and just try to stay in contact BC I did really like her, but she would respond with venom.
To this day I don't understand it. In the end it is her loss. My wife and I are having our 2nd child in April. I did email this girl xmas eve (broke my 16 day NC). I just said hi I hope all is well. I just wanted to see how things were going and wish you a merry xmas. Still no response. Which is typical. That's basically been the protocol since she found out my wife was pregnant.
It's like she dumped me in the rudest f'ing way and then it was like she was mad at me for getting back with my wife a few months afterwards. Like WTF? Were you expecting me to wait for you? When she found out my wife was pregnant it's been radio silence.
I can't help for feeling bad about how it ended but it wasn't my doing. So her loss. Off to better things.
This. I agree she was just a side fling really,it's not like you have nothing, you have a wife and kid forget the *****.Not sure why you care since you are reconciling with the wife? And she is preggo...
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
what? lolMy ex sent me a text 3. Days ago asking me how I was but nothing on a in Christmas ****INg ****
Dude, You keep saying "it's her loss". Are you trying to convince us or convince yourself? Sounds like the latter to me. Put this woman behind you, try to forget about her and be 100% NC to her. I know it's hard but that is what you MUST do.I was at Day 16.... my story is f'd and complicated. To sum it up... I'm married. I seperated from my wife and dated this girl for about a month but we had worked together for about 7 months so the feelings were already there.
Anyway she dumped me BC she wasnt over her abusive BF..... a few weeks later my wife wanted to start dating again so I did. My wife is the better catch out of the 2 for a lot of reasons.
But this girl insisted on ending things badly. She took the nuclear option and just caused a bunch of drama. For months I would try to check in, say hi, say I hope all is well and just try to stay in contact BC I did really like her, but she would respond with venom.
To this day I don't understand it. In the end it is her loss. My wife and I are having our 2nd child in April. I did email this girl xmas eve (broke my 16 day NC). I just said hi I hope all is well. I just wanted to see how things were going and wish you a merry xmas. Still no response. Which is typical. That's basically been the protocol since she found out my wife was pregnant.
It's like she dumped me in the rudest f'ing way and then it was like she was mad at me for getting back with my wife a few months afterwards. Like WTF? Were you expecting me to wait for you? When she found out my wife was pregnant it's been radio silence.
I can't help for feeling bad about how it ended but it wasn't my doing. So her loss. Off to better things.
@BeTheChange Is this the woman from summer who you said you were abusive to? Did you get back together?Ex sent me a personalised Christmas message, which was weird given she'd blocked me two weeks ago for no apparent reason. I ignored them. Was having too good a day to bother responding.
Ex sent me another message today of an inside joke picture. Didn't reply. Haven't spoken in nearly two weeks and don't intend to.
I don't think I can have a truly "fulfilling" relationship with another chick until I flush out my ex completely. 60 days shouldn't be a problem.
Looking forward to seeing two of my new plates when I head back to my city later this week. The great thing about them is they are both so different from each other, excite me for different reasons and have their own little quirks and eccentricities.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
To you the same.Happy New year to all. May it be the healthiest, happiest and most successful yet.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.