The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Roober]

Alright guys I'm going to offer some hope here even though it will likely be 100% disregarded just as I disregarded the advice of previous members..but it does get better!

If you guys go back and read some of my posts I was a complete mess.. I almost wanted to kill myself because the internal dialogue was relentless and I could not shut it off. All I could think about was her.. replaying everything we did and didn't do together.. trying to find meanings in everything.. analyzing everything.. no sleep.. couldn't eat.. I was your typical heart broken washed up on the side of the road victim.

But now I'm on top of my game again.. new girl is younger, hotter, better in bed, more affectionate.. I never thought it would happen but I would keep my current girl over my ex.

NC is a must guys.. not to win her back.. but for your own health. I used NC to make her miss me/get her back.. it worked but she pulled the same **** as she did before a few months later and I was sent back to the gutter. Once its over its over. Don't make the same mistakes as I did!

I know there will be different opinions on this but I would stay away from dating other women after splitting with an ex. You want to replace your ex, especially because your ex most likely will be with another guy within a week or so of splitting but you are just replacing an old drug and with a weaker version that will just make you crave something stronger.. you ex.

Work on yourself, do the right things, stay NC. Plant the seeds and wait.. don't force it.

Good stuff! I think this is how I began to feel the last couple weeks of going out on dates. I was measuring them up to her and while I had a good time, I didn't really feel like it was making it any better. I have decided to really tone it back and just stop reaching out to the ones I have spent time with. I figure I will just let them fall by the wayside...

I am going to focus a lot more on ME! Hitting the gym 4-5 times a week, work has gotten SUPER busy as I watch everything I have created come to fruition, and I will stick with going to salsa to get out. I realized I was replacing my exes affection with the desire to talk to other women and when it wasn't there, I was longing for it. I intentionally didn't set up dates this week, just to take care of my things around the house, focus on the gym, and continue working crazy hours... bonuses are coming up, so I really want to show my best stuff..

 

[exhausted]

Good stuff! I think this is how I began to feel the last couple weeks of going out on dates. I was measuring them up to her and while I had a good time, I didn't really feel like it was making it any better. I have decided to really tone it back and just stop reaching out to the ones I have spent time with. I figure I will just let them fall by the wayside...

I am going to focus a lot more on ME! Hitting the gym 4-5 times a week, work has gotten SUPER busy as I watch everything I have created come to fruition, and I will stick with going to salsa to get out. I realized I was replacing my exes affection with the desire to talk to other women and when it wasn't there, I was longing for it. I intentionally didn't set up dates this week, just to take care of my things around the house, focus on the gym, and continue working crazy hours... bonuses are coming up, so I really want to show my best stuff..

Good focus for sure.
I have no ambition to court other women. Its an exhausting process and even more difficult when u have to fake being cheerful.

 

[exhausted]

Alright guys I'm going to offer some hope here even though it will likely be 100% disregarded just as I disregarded the advice of previous members..but it does get better!

If you guys go back and read some of my posts I was a complete mess.. I almost wanted to kill myself because the internal dialogue was relentless and I could not shut it off. All I could think about was her.. replaying everything we did and didn't do together.. trying to find meanings in everything.. analyzing everything.. no sleep.. couldn't eat.. I was your typical heart broken washed up on the side of the road victim.

But now I'm on top of my game again.. new girl is younger, hotter, better in bed, more affectionate.. I never thought it would happen but I would keep my current girl over my ex.

NC is a must guys.. not to win her back.. but for your own health. I used NC to make her miss me/get her back.. it worked but she pulled the same **** as she did before a few months later and I was sent back to the gutter. Once its over its over. Don't make the same mistakes as I did!

I know there will be different opinions on this but I would stay away from dating other women after splitting with an ex. You want to replace your ex, especially because your ex most likely will be with another guy within a week or so of splitting but you are just replacing an old drug and with a weaker version that will just make you crave something stronger.. you ex.

Work on yourself, do the right things, stay NC. Plant the seeds and wait.. don't force it.

Well said.

 

[Carpathian]

NC is a must guys.. not to win her back.. but for your own health. I used NC to make her miss me/get her back.. it worked but she pulled the same **** as she did before a few months later and I was sent back to the gutter. Once its over its over. Don't make the same mistakes as I did!

^^^^ THAT is the issue.
To all you guys pining for her back, listen up. If you are doing NC to get her back you may be successful in the short term, but you will ultimately end up even more disappointed, upset and bitter. She may come back, BUT SHE WILL PULL THE SAME STUNT AGAIN. 99.9% certain, mark my words. Been there several times and got the T-shirts. Now ask yourself, is this what you want in your life? Do you deserve better from your lover/significant other? Do you want to be walking on eggshells, tiptoeing around her moods and life? We are men here. Let it go. We are a prize to the right woman. She is the wrong woman. There will be another one soon. It may not feel that way now, but there will be.
Let it go.

 

[5chm1dd1]

^^^^ THAT is the issue.
To all you guys pining for her back, listen up. If you are doing NC to get her back you may be successful in the short term, but you will ultimately end up even more disappointed, upset and bitter. She may come back, BUT SHE WILL PULL THE SAME STUNT AGAIN. 99.9% certain, mark my words. Been there several times and got the T-shirts. Now ask yourself, is this what you want in your life? Do you deserve better from your lover/significant other? Do you want to be walking on eggshells, tiptoeing around her moods and life? We are men here. Let it go. We are a prize to the right woman. She is the wrong woman. There will be another one soon. It may not feel that way now, but there will be.
Let it go.

This is gold.

My Breakup was about 4 months ago, NC for also almost 4 months, still think about her every day but it hurts less. Guess that's what it takes to overcome your first love and relationship.

My dad told me one sentence they used to say when they were younger if a chick dumped them: "She sh@t right on your d!ck, and then in your face." pretty much sums up the situation, so f#ck her.

I admit I still have feelings for her, but even if she would reach out at that point, I'd tell her to go.... Herself.

It would break me once again I suppose, but in the long run I'll come out on top, as every guy has after being thrown in the trash like a used hanky.

 

[exhausted]

^^^^ THAT is the issue.
To all you guys pining for her back, listen up. If you are doing NC to get her back you may be successful in the short term, but you will ultimately end up even more disappointed, upset and bitter. She may come back, BUT SHE WILL PULL THE SAME STUNT AGAIN. 99.9% certain, mark my words. Been there several times and got the T-shirts. Now ask yourself, is this what you want in your life? Do you deserve better from your lover/significant other? Do you want to be walking on eggshells, tiptoeing around her moods and life? We are men here. Let it go. We are a prize to the right woman. She is the wrong woman. There will be another one soon. It may not feel that way now, but there will be.
Let it go.

True.
I have refused her back for nearly a month and had to go NC for my own health as she is bipolar. Loving when she isnt mad or upset or freaking the ****k out.
Bipolar women are tough because u love them before the episodes come flying out and then they genuinely apologoze and promise to be better. Its a tough****ing game, down right soul killing in fact but no matter what u still need to say or resolve it doesnt matter because tbese vampires have no logic. U are right NOTHING will ever change.

 

[ispep430]

I know the feeling of toxic.

Contact her parent or friend who can get the message to her about the car. Stay nc as she will try to cause u emotional harm

I'm glad I found this site. I am comforted in knowing that I am not experiencing this situation alone. I value everyone's comments. I really feel like to urge to ask her to meetup. someone please give me some opinions.

 

[ChangePages]

8 months of NC, I must say I'm ultimately proud of myself as this girl was my first love and she was BPD (which I heard was very hard) but once we broke up I promised myself I'm mentally strong enough to accomplish NC.

During the 8 months, she only contacted me once (4 months) but I ignored her.

Mind you, she branch swing a week after breaking up with me and is still with him. This new guy doesn't compare one bit to what we had, she doesn't love him and is unhappy. And I'll be there watching the downfall from a distance.

Our love was crazy, intense, the best she ever had and I do believe her on that. She craved the **** out of me like no other. She even stalked my social media every single day. Even when it was private.

Our love was so crazy that I went beyond NC and simply disappeared from her radar and blocked her from everything and I plan on keeping it that way for good. Deleted all my social media and created new ones.

She'll never find out where I am. I'll be a memory that'll keep driving her insane. Like those single mothers who have one night stands with alpha chad

When she recycles, she'll think of me. When she thinks of abandonment she'll think of me. When she sees her mistakes and regrets, she'll think of me. The one that got away. The one who disappeared.

 

[exhausted]

you'll feel even worse. don't piss on the electric fence.

Ive been fighting it too all damn day.

I know better, have unresolved questions i know i wont get answered.

I dont know how all my life one side of me is a violent, rough crazed maniac when playing sports or fierce and calculated when fighting, but the other side a tender emotional ***** asking questions about this bipolar **** instead of out banging chicks.

 

[Roober]

I'm glad I found this site. I am comforted in knowing that I am not experiencing this situation alone. I value everyone's comments. I really feel like to urge to ask her to meetup. someone please give me some opinions.

I posted this a couple pages back. I think it is a great DJ perspective. Your ex was a season and willing to let you go, so let her...

Good video! F**k em!

I really like the tree analogy, may have to keep that in my repertoire

To be honest, I think anyone that ends up at SoSuave came for one of two reasons...
1. To get better with women
2. Because they got dumped and were looking for answers

I am willing to bet the majority come from number 2. These women came into our lives to lead us here, to lead us to be better men, to lead us to grab control of our lives. They will regret what they gave up even more when they see how we turned out...

 

[exhausted]

I posted this a couple pages back. I think it is a great DJ perspective. Your ex was a season and willing to let you go, so let her...



To be honest, I think anyone that ends up at SoSuave came for one of two reasons...
1. To get better with women
2. Because they got dumped and were looking for answers

I am willing to bet the majority come from number 2. These women came into our lives to lead us here, to lead us to be better men, to lead us to grab control of our lives. They will regret what they gave up even more when they see how we turned out...

Get better with assessing and evaluating women.
Ive been doing the dumping but i have a fault at keeping the wrong women around too long.
Trying to be better for sure.

 

[Roober]

Get better with assessing and evaluating women.
Ive been doing the dumping but i have a fault at keeping the wrong women around too long.
Trying to be better for sure.

Lots of men keep women around too long. It is easy and provides a constant source of pvssy. Spinning plates takes a bit more work than an LTR. The problem is most men let these short term women stick around for long term relationships because they get mesmerized by the poonani... not because it is special, but because it is there...

 

[Carpathian]

Lots of men keep women around too long. It is easy and provides a constant source of pvssy. Spinning plates takes a bit more work than an LTR. The problem is most men let these short term women stick around for long term relationships because they get mesmerized by the poonani... not because it is special, but because it is there...

Ain't that the truth.

 

[exhausted]

Lots of men keep women around too long. It is easy and provides a constant source of pvssy. Spinning plates takes a bit more work than an LTR. The problem is most men let these short term women stick around for long term relationships because they get mesmerized by the poonani... not because it is special, but because it is there...

Usually true.
I had no problem getting *****.
Just have run into the pointin my life i enjoy companionship and ***** with the same girl.
In this day and age quality people are scarce. I feel i takes a year at least to get to know someone and then their instabilities come out. At that point u vet them and see if they are too worth it or not and if they are u hope to see them grow and improve.
Today's spoiled brat women dont do either.
I find myself more disappointed and let down by life than the girl specifically, if that makes sense.
Like looking up to God and asking ,"really, what am i suppose to do with this ****storm of women to chose from"?

 

[finality]

The ex sent 2 random texts to me last night while I was plowing my new girl. Its almost magical how they always reach out when you are with another women. Like something energetically, quantum physics, vibration, we are all connected type of shyt goes on where they just know that you are slipping away.

Staying NC, of course.

 

[Mick88]

Day 100
I got involved with a co worker last summer. Was seeing her for a month. It was pretty full on. 40 hours per week together plus me staying in her's 3-4 nights per week.
Thats a few months of dating crammed into a month. She literally went cold over night and ended it.
I still saw her in work every day for a month after that, she was cold and her hamplanet crew were absolute counts towards me, I know she was pulling the strings behind them.
I found a new job and got out of there. I havent attempted to contact her and won't, I still have her number though.
The thing is, when I think about disposing of the number, I feel anxious. She treated me like a disposable object and cut me loose like it was nothing, but a part of me misses her. This annoys me. If I look at it without emotion, I can see she was sooooo wrong for me, but I still ruminate about the whole situation.
She's probably went through another few guys since me. This sh1t has my head tied up and I can't stop dwelling on it.
I know I sound like a ***** but I can't shake it. This chick is a 6 according to my friends who have a ln objective view point, and I can see that. But I hate that I can't just let go of a poisonous person like they did to me.

 

[exhausted]

The ex sent 2 random texts to me last night while I was plowing my new girl. Its almost magical how they always reach out when you are with another women. Like something energetically, quantum physics, vibration, we are all connected type of shyt goes on where they just know that you are slipping away.

Staying NC, of course.

What did she text u and how long have u been nc?

 

[xstang77]

The ex sent 2 random texts to me last night while I was plowing my new girl. Its almost magical how they always reach out when you are with another women. Like something energetically, quantum physics, vibration, we are all connected type of shyt goes on where they just know that you are slipping away.

Staying NC, of course.

Funny I went through the same thing with my most recent ex, had just got done banging her for the first time and she was cleaning up and sure enough my bpd ex sends an "I miss you" after 3 months. Makes you feel like a king, good for you man I hope to be in that position again.

 

[finality]

What did she text u and how long have u been nc?

It's been 9 days of NC and her texts were literally ransom gibberish like its cold outside.

I know BPD gets through out a lot on this forum but my ex is legit. I won't mention all the proof out of respect but take my word for it.

Anyways, I know that her reaching out has nothing to do to me. It's not because I'm the best looking, banged her the best, or took top spot on her high score. It's 100% about her. She is sick and lonely and will always been alone despite the fact that is hot and will always have a guy in her life.

She does not want me to be happy and is only reaching out to serve her own intresests.

It took me close to 1 year to come to this realization... I mean logically I knew this but 1 year to really accept this as reality and there is no happy ending..she can't be saved.

She is drug and im an addict. Therefor my only recourse is NC for life. Took me a long time to accept this but no women is worth my health and sanity.

 

[exhausted]

It's been 9 days of NC and her texts were literally ransom gibberish like its cold outside.

I know BPD gets through out a lot on this forum but my ex is legit. I won't mention all the proof out of respect but take my word for it.

Anyways, I know that her reaching out has nothing to do to me. It's not because I'm the best looking, banged her the best, or took top spot on her high score. It's 100% about her. She is sick and lonely and will always been alone despite the fact that is hot and will always have a guy in her life.

She does not want me to be happy and is only reaching out to serve her own intresests.

It took me close to 1 year to come to this realization... I mean logically I knew this but 1 year to really accept this as reality and there is no happy ending..she can't be saved.

She is drug and im an addict. Therefor my only recourse is NC for life. Took me a long time to accept this but no women is worth my health and sanity.

Yep.
My ex wife is bpd. Dated a year and engaged a year and married 10 months separated and divorced. She had me so f'd up my psychologist diagnosed her thro my sessions and she even contacted her and had a session w her. That was ten years ago. I stayed single for 7 years tho had some str and randoms.
Some how by the grace of the devil i just got a way from a bipolar gf of almost 3 years.
Clinically diagnosed bipolar and given meds which she did not take.
Difference is a bpd does not have a heart at all, a bipolar does have a heart, half the time tho they are emotionally unstable, its fukn rough.

I'm terrified of what i run into next....


Good for u for staying clear of her.